Body/mind confused

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gonuts
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 10/30/2010 6:07 PM (GMT -6)   
cry
I had a post before and i knew it was hard to follow. Kinda sums up the way i am. No one can understand the way I feel. I've talked with my mother, she tries to get it. But basically blows me off. (she has enough to deal with herself) I talk to my son, (24yrs). He's like a typical ignorant man. Starts to argue with me. The only one i can talk to is my daughter. But she herself is struggling with anxiety and depression.
I currently have started going to therapy. But i see this will take forever to get to the root. It's like 45mins long each time, but you can't get anywhere in that short of a time.
So I have been up and down so much it's really getting annoying. confused

Is there anyone here who's very confused about themselves, feeling like they don't know if there happy or sad. Very jumpy and i seem to be having a difficult time concentrating. Probably why my post is hard to get. I'm sorry for that. I just need to hear if someone else is feeling the same way I have been lately. Please respond!!! I need to understand. sad
Cervical spine surgery 2004, C-section 1986, Cholecystectomy 1999, Thoracic and Lumbar injury 2000.Anxiety/depression 2008. Fibromyalgia 2009,Thyroidectomy 2008. Degenerative disc disease. IBS,Asthma,Rheumitoid Arthritis, Sacroillitis, Scolylosis, disc bulge in L5/S1.possible Lupus and/or ankylosing spondylitis.Meds: Lisinophil, xoponex, symbocort, pulmocort, troponal, lyrica,cymbalta,trazadone

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/30/2010 7:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey there brave one,

I do know what that feels like. What I did to grow, and know what I am feeling, was this.

Every hour, I checked in with myself, and asked what I was feeling, and why. Sometimes I knew what I was feeling, other times, I had no idea. Eventually as time passed, I didn't struggle so much, and knew faster what I was feeling and why.

From there, the next question was, is what I am feeling reasonable, do the feelings belong in my past, or are they current.

I was so very discconnected from my feelings, but you can get through this.

Good luck

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/30/2010 7:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello braveone,
 
Look at your list of diseases and disorders and you will see how you have a right to have ups and downs.  Therapy works for me unless I am really down and then all the talk and goals and ideas become to overwhelming for me.
 
I understand how you feel but give the therapy a chance.  I was dx in 1982 with Anxiety and depression.  In 2005 it turned into a major depressive disorder as up until then I was able to handle my dx on one med and did pretty well.
 
For the past five years I have struggled but I try to remember all the good things I have down and accomplished despite the depression.
 
Please know you are never alone with this dang disorder.
 
Many hugs,
Kitt
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/30/2010 7:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, glad that you came here to vent. Right now I'm pretty OK. Subject to change, of course.
Its real hard to try and talk to the family, and sorry guys, especially men. I think its because they have heard of hormones, but never had PMS, PMDD, been pregnant, or had post-partum depression. They just don't understand moods.
When I feel like you I call it misery. Mixed up inside, it could be a real happy time but something is eating at me too. Nothing I can pin down. Uncomfortable in my skin.
Therapy does take awhile, they have to get to know you, and you them, and figure out what to address first. Thats why you need to put some thought into it before you go in and write some things down. What's the thing you want to tackle first? You can identify for yourself that you are suffering from anxiety, jumpy, nervous. You can tell her that right out, instead of describing it for most of your session (as I have done ) and then the session is over, with not much feedback. And that's what you're paying for, professional feedback. You can vent here or anywhere you can find a kind ear. But I found that I just hated myself on the way home from the appt if I had blabbered uncontrollably. Sometimes you can't help it when you "strike a nerve" and that is good, don't get me wrong.
When you have no one to talk to, try journalling. Believe me, if the family doesn't want to hear about it, they sure aren't going to look for your journal ! I used to be afraid to put things down in black and white. The nice thing is now we have computers, so we can FLY !
Considering all the surgeries and sickness you have had to deal with, I would say no wonder you feel that way. You say you are on Cymbalta and Trazadone, for how long? Maybe you aren't at the max dose, or need to be switched. Maybe it something else going on in your bod. Sometimes they aren't as effective as they seemed at first, needs to be "tweaked". Call the pdoc. You must be on thyroid meds too, I don't know, but maybe they need adjustment.
Also, on the internet, if you are so inclined, you can Google self-help for anxiety. In the meantime. No miracles, but maybe an idea or two.
Hope you get some relief soon.
Good luck.
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

gonuts
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 10/30/2010 7:38 PM (GMT -6)   

Well, i will try that and i appreciate your help very much. It's just so hard to let go... i really don't know how. I live with it. I see it, so that in it self makes life so hard to live. :( You know i don't even know what to type or communicate so my therapist can understand me.. I forget stuff and remember after i've already left her. so frustrating!
I am no longer working because my health started to decline so badly. I was in so much pain and tired all the time that eventually i was told my job was no longer needed. So humiliating. it's been 2 yrs now. I'm sure that doesn't help with the cause. one minute i think i got it. the next, I'm down again.
WEll, i'm there babbling again. Sorry. Again thank you so much. :-)
Cervical spine surgery 2004, C-section 1986, Cholecystectomy 1999, Thoracic and Lumbar injury 2000.Anxiety/depression 2008. Fibromyalgia 2009,Thyroidectomy 2008. Degenerative disc disease. IBS,Asthma,Rheumitoid Arthritis, Sacroillitis, Scolylosis, disc bulge in L5/S1.possible Lupus and/or ankylosing spondylitis.Meds: Lisinophil, xoponex, symbocort, pulmocort, troponal, lyrica,cymbalta,trazadone

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/31/2010 1:50 AM (GMT 0)   
You are not babbling, you are venting and that is healthy.
I know you are confused, thats why getting something prepared before you see the therapist is helpful. You could start now even. There are the things bothering you, the physical symptoms of you illnesses, and the mood symptoms. Make 3 documents and toggle between them.
You refer to an "it", I live with it, see it, and it makes it so hard to live.
Maybe you need an "it" page to explore this.
Please understand that I'm not an expert, but someone who has struggled as well. And the illnesses you have must make it that much harder.
You aren't the only one here not working, some do, some for awhile, some can't. Its hard because I miss the discipline of the morning routine, casual conversation at work, lunch time, and biggest, the paycheck.
Keep thinking, you're making some progress when you do. It doesn't matter if you don't know what to write, just babble on paper. You can go back later and "edit", circle, cross out, whatever. You will be attacking "it".

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/30/2010 7:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Brave one,

You are not babbling at all.

When you think of things during the week that you would like to discuss, can you make a list, so you are more equipped and ready when you do go to the therapy?

With stress and some of the meds you are on, it is normal to forget things till later, but this will make you feel more focussed

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/30/2010 7:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Snap T2U, lol

gonuts
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 159
   Posted 11/2/2010 12:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, all of you!! I am feeling a little better today...i hope to continue at this. I am going to group " pain and how it affect you" tomorrow. I can't wait!!! I am mentioning this web site!!! So get ready for more of us!!
Till then..Thanks again... Laura <3
Cervical spine surgery 2004, C-section 1986, Cholecystectomy 1999, Thoracic and Lumbar injury 2000.Anxiety/depression 2008. Fibromyalgia 2009,Thyroidectomy 2008. Degenerative disc disease. IBS,Asthma,Rheumitoid Arthritis, Sacroillitis, Scolylosis, disc bulge in L5/S1.possible Lupus and/or ankylosing spondylitis.Meds: Lisinophil, xoponex, symbocort, pulmocort, troponal, lyrica,cymbalta,trazadone
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