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falconrun
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/30/2010 8:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I live with my dad me and him do not get along at all I am the oldest of his kids tht live in his house. They are 10 and younger everything they do he blames on me his gf hates me. I have been grounded for just about a whole school year for my grades first 9 weeks has just ended and I got grounded at the end of the first semester last year. He treats me life I am not human I've don't ask for anything because he is a liar and he won't do it I asked him for deoderent and some boxers because I have 4 pair he said tuff luck. I stay with my sister on her couch nothing better there she can't rly take care of me and I don't like being at her place because she doesn't understand because my dad was nice to her. I wish I could help her but there's no way I've tried . I am the outcast of my family they want me to play football then go to college or the service but I don't have the grades for it I try in school and fail so I said forget it and stoped trying.I use to try and think of ways to die when I was
12 but knew I never would do it . I lived out of state with my mom for three years tht helped because she under stands me. I can make friends but it is not a good idea I find a way to mess there lifes up or don't wanna hang out with them because I never have any money to do anything. When I stayed with my dad I stayed on the couch and he doesn't even want me there but he still wants me to do everything he says. I started smoking and drinking whe I was 11 when I smoke or drink it makes my life feel better. My dad says he is gonna send me to my mom but he won't . He thinks everything I do is to challenge him but I don't care about him or most of my family for the most they could lay in a ditch and I wouldn't care because they don't care about me. I don't try to be social because most of time I try to avoid people. I rly don't know what to do wish it will all end I feel like a huge mistake and I know I'm not gonna do anything to change anyones life so when people tell me tht I don't rly listen. Plz help me and I am 17

josef Dieckman
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 296
   Posted 10/31/2010 12:17 AM (GMT -6)   
First off you need to know that you are NOT a mistake. You DO matter.
Secondly, you arent alone. If you really feel like your family is not there for you, you can believe me that there are teachers and staff at your school that will listen to you. They may even be able to get you into a better situation.
The thing is, you may really not want to talk to anyone for some reason. But always remember, if it comes down to it....to a desperate moment, YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOURSELF talk to someone. You may have to FORCE yourself to go to someone. You don't have to like it.....but it's self preservation, right? Just go on autopilot and screw the consequences....you gotta talk to someone. And you know what?
You might find after only 20 seconds of talking to a trusted teacher that you are pouring it all out....tears and all. And that's good to do.

Im sorry you are so unhappy in your current situation. But that's the thing....you're 17 and whatever you're going through is only temporary. You're 17........and you're gonna have dozens more "temporary situations", so to speak. Your current circumstances are just that...it's what you're doing FOR NOW.............

talk to someone near you. You need to have a lifeline nearby. They need to be able to get to you in a hurry....so a friend 250 miles away isnt gonna work.

Youll get through this.

Joey

falconrun
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/31/2010 4:38 AM (GMT -6)   
but these problems just didn't start happening they have been on going from child hood and there not rlly temp situation. Ever since my parents split when I was 5 is when I rly started changing yeah for the first few years I thought she was on vacation so my dad told us. But when I turned 9 I haven't gone a day or so without thinking what rly happend. I can't ask my older brother he doesn't like tlking about it he only told me tht he hates tht he lied for our dad. But I can't blame him our dad is a expert liar he promised my brother to take him to six flags and disneyland for a whole week. I also have a problem with getting help its just I don't wanna tlk about my life I just wear a huge mask. If you met me you would think I. Am happiest person alive there's been times when I just wanted to breakdown in school but still kept a smile and made jokes.

livenlaugh
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 387
   Posted 10/31/2010 6:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Honestly, you need to talk to someone at school. A teacher you trust or have respect for, someone. They will be able to help you. Remember, you are not alone. Do what is best for you. You are the only one who will take care of yourself. Believe me, I know it is hard to talk to someone but you will feel better knowing that you are helping yourself. Please don't stay in the situation that you are in. Please help yourself.

Let us know how you are doing...we do care.
Lisa

falconrun
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/31/2010 7:04 AM (GMT -6)   
I think I am gonna start volunteering at the dog shelter in my city for some reason I like being around dogs and when I'm playing with a dog or just relaxing with one I feel better about things and I've never known why. I feel sad for dogs with bad owners because basicly same as a bad parent I don't have many emotions but I feel a little sad when I see dogs being forced to fight or kill in a movie

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/31/2010 7:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Since you are still in school, I urge you to go to a counselor to talk. They will refer you to someone better advise you from there.
Your living situation is deplorable. It makes me sad.
When you go to the counselor you don't have to pour out your whole life story, just the predicament you're in now.
You need to make a friend of two, don't know what you mean when you say you mess their lives up, but do know that everyone needs to have a friend.
You have no money? tried working part-time?
Would not leap into the military because your Dad says so. That is a big decision that has implications that will effect your entire future. Unless your choice is jail. Which you haven't mentioned being in trouble.
What do you do with your time if you are always grounded?
You seem pre-occuppied with whatever happened when your mom left. Why don't you ask her instead of the other family. Why couldn't you stay with your mom?
We say this is temporary because of the hopeless feelings you have. Not your situation, that has to be improved, and you should make a move on it while you are still in school and can get help free.
Hope you will continue to post.
People are here for you.
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 10/31/2010 8:01 AM (GMT -6)   
Falconrun,

When you said that you were helping dogs, it warmed my heart. That is such a kind thing to do. If you really like dogs, why don't you think about being a dog trainer or a vetrinarian? That would be so cool. Get those grades up, get help with school. Talking to a school counselor really helps. You need somebody that you can trust.

Keep posting, this is good for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

falconrun
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/31/2010 8:05 AM (GMT -6)   
But the thing is at my schoo counseler rlly isn't a counsel all she does is decide what's classes we have and help plan stuff for the upward bound program I know there are others going through some of the stuff I do at school but they have no way of reaching out either. What I do with my free time his watch my dad and his gf 5 little kids while they are upstairs watching tv they will only come down to cook diner or tell the kids to shutup but I'm at my sisters mostly now and for real no better she don't care if I leave but I don't hang out with any one on this side of town because they ones who are over here are in the worse gang in the city. My best friend is a gang member but not all like tht he has a job and a good family . I've known him since second grade I don't have to tell him anything about my situation because he already knows from hangin with me as a kid. But I can't get a job because my dad (also my sole guardian) won't take me to get my id even when I said I would pay for it some how

falconrun
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/31/2010 8:11 AM (GMT -6)   
And I don't bother her about what happend because she doesn't like my dad she sees him as the scum he is the 3 years I lived with her she still paid child support for me and my brother and he tryed to ask her if he could claim me on his taxes. Since they spilt my mom has paid child support and my dad would waste the money on girls or goin out and my mom had crap job still she bought us school cloths and sent us money when she can. He only wanted us after they spilt for the child support and he makes 1900 every two weeks and has to pay no rent just cable and electric and complains about child support when I don't live with him. He refuses to pay they gas bill he normally doesn't pay it but once a year right when winter starts then stops payin and because the law the gas company can't cut his gas off

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/31/2010 8:52 AM (GMT -6)   
The school counselor should still be trained to help you, tell her you are in serious trouble with homelife. You are emotionally abused and neglected. She has the ability to find someone for you to see. Really.

As far as the ID card, ask your friend to take you for it. Maybe he can get you in at where he works, or offer suggestions. Thats what friends are for. I'm impressed you have such a long-time friend. Don't get involved with his gang crap, in other words, don't socialize with him and his friends.

Are you thinking that you can't go stay with your mom because your dad says no, because he doesn't want to lose money? I think you can say I am going to live with mom. Bye.

I think she would be willing to talk to you about the split, maybe not on the top of her list, but she needs to understand how much it is disturbing you. Not that you want to hear about what a bas8888 your dad is, you need to understand her side of it, what happened. Not why.

Its time to develop a plan for You.
Try and get counseling help, maybe a medical referal and they can prescribe an antidepressant, maybe, see what they think.
Don't think they're just going to say blah blah blah, because you won't know till you try it.
Getting a job, being around others and having some money is next.
Moving away with your mom and starting over, so to speak. Now you are almost grown-up.
You say she understands you, thats a big plus.
Forget your dad and don't eat your insides out trying to understand why he treats you so poorly. Sometimes a parent picks a child to take everything out on, using, abusing, and not because the child in any way deserves it, they just get randomly picked. It doesn't matter why, its emotional abuse.
You are at the beginning of a promising future.
Do your best.
Keep posting, people are here for you.
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/31/2010 8:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Good Morning and welcome to HealingWell,
 
I agree 100% with gettingby ~ my dog is my therapy dog as he is always here for me.  He lets me cry on his neck as I hug him close when I am down.  He brings me great joy when I get down on the floor and we just snuggle up.
 
Caring for loving dogs is an admirable thing to do and not only will you be helping the sweet dogs,  you will be helping yourself. 
 
Be proud of who you are and know we support you.
 
Kindly,
Kitt
 
 
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

falconrun
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/31/2010 9:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank u so much and I hang out with his friends too but there not bad non are involed with robbing people are selling drugs for real I knew em all since I was a kid we were friends back then just they joined gang while I was california. But my friend works at a place where u have to be 18 because his older cousin worked there 5 years he said they started tht like 3 years ago and to be honest I don't think my counseler can help me because she takes vicidians and there not her medication this one kid stole a whole un labled bottle out of her purse so I would feel better if I knew a way to do it on my own but I don't know and can't ask family for support they will say I'm just acting dumb. And my mom is way across country I'm in ohio she is in california

falconrun
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/31/2010 9:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I am glad I found this site I spent 35 min finding one I mainly came across ones tht cost like $2.80 a min to chat with someone but I'm going down there tommrow to sign up and looked into it and found out I don't need a id thts a plus

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/31/2010 9:22 AM (GMT -6)   
School counselor doesn't sound so good after all, but still, I maintain that if you hit her point blank with the problem, I am emotionally abused and neglected, she has to by law find you someone to talk to.

Try to disregard what you know about the counselor and the Vicodan. Thats her problem. Anyway, it might have been a lie, someone trying to discredit her. Its her job to help you and anyone that marches thru that door. While you're a kid, help might be free, after you're out it gets harder and costs.

Get the ID anyway. You never know when you might see a job, then you'll be ready. Holidays are coming, they hire temporary help then.

That is a distance to come, but you can do it if you put your mind to it. I'm thinking bus ticket, one way. Why a job and money would help. Price the bus ticket as a first baby step, could be a short range goal. Let your mom you are trying to scrape money up to come and see her. Maybe she'll help.

Just start thinking about the life plan. Then start taking steps, small ones in the right direction. Your love of animals for instance. Besides volunteering at the shelter, maybe you could "borrow" someone elses dog by offering to walk it, thereby getting an opportunity to enjoy it. Right now almost impossible for you to get a pet, right? They are great.

I'm from Cleveland, now in Oceanside, love it here. The weather makes it so nice. We do have seasons, just not severe. It isn't perfect because I still have ME along, but I am glad I left. Its been about 35 yrs now, went back and lived in Chicago for 5 yrs, Brrrrr. Moved back.

There's a place close by called Canines for Independence, I saw a young person at the mall early one day with a dog in training. Wouldn't it feel good to be a part of that? Google dog training programs and see whats around you.

Wonder what it takes to become a dog trainer? You could talk to a trainer if you have a big store around like Petsmart. Sometimes they work at the store and are trainers. They would probably enjoy sharing how they got into their careers.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/31/2010 9:26 AM (GMT -6)   
"but I'm going down there tommrow to sign up and looked into it and found out I don't need a id thts a plus"
What, don't follow you, Guy. And how can you pay for anything? Thought you were penniless, so to speak.

falconrun
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/31/2010 9:30 AM (GMT -6)   
I will look into it and I saw the vacoden because I was in small school office and he wlked in her room while she was out wit a parent I saw him reach across desk for something when he came out he flashed him to me and told me later what they where and they where vacoden I took em when I tore my acl in 9th grade and when in her office there is no privacy she was no walls it is two glass windows and one has a door everyone can see and hear everything tht happens in there but when I was in california we had real counselers with there own office one told me to come to her if I ever needed to tlk if I go out this school year I plan on doing tht

falconrun
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/31/2010 9:32 AM (GMT -6)   
You have to pay 22 dollars for finger printing and u get your money back after a month so I think I burrow that from my friend as long as he knows he is getting it back

falconrun
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/31/2010 9:34 AM (GMT -6)   
And I don't have a id thts why tht is a plus because even if I scraped the money together by asking for 75 cent here and there my dad won't take me to get it

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 10/31/2010 9:58 AM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like you have excuses not to try. It is hard to help somebody like that. You aren't getting the point of things. Quit worrying about the vicodin. She may have picked up the prescription for somebody else.

If you have to, get a book on depression. There are so many good ones, oh you probably don't have the money for that. Then check one out at the library. You have to try to help preserve your sanity. No matter what is going on around you. Your life might not be pleasant right now, but it will get better, as long as you are trying. And only you know that.

Keep posting, we do care about you here. I will post for you some teen sites that you can maybe get some help with.
 
 
I hope that these sites can help you.  They are free.
 
Hugs, Karen
 
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

josef Dieckman
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 296
   Posted 10/31/2010 10:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Bro,
dont get hung up the whole "real counselor" thing........any trusted person will do. Because remember they are people with hearts and ears and life experience. Again, you have to kinda push yourself to do the right thing here. And that is to talk to someone. Like you, everyone else has a few layers to peel back. You might be surprised to find that the person that just makes your schedule might also be a very caring, helpful person.
Diagnosed with CD: November 2003
Probably had it long before that.
 
Currently taking: Not what I asked for.
 
Cant eat: I can eat anything.
 
Crohn's Wishlist: I would like a minor resection surgery...you know...just to see what it's all about and so I can say I had one.

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 10/31/2010 10:43 AM (GMT -6)   
I would say that going into the military is a huge discision and you have to be ok with alot of unfairness and getting yelled at. But most importantly you might be ask to do things that are against one's nature, or even die from it. That being said it is still the best moves I ever made, and I would go back in a heartbeat if I was healthy enough. Sometimes the DI were nicer then being around my Dad not that he was as bad as yours, just suffered from alot of ptsd.

The good news is you are not far from 18 and then you will be on your own.  But if you do report that you are emotional abused and neglected and become a ward of the state, then in some states your college is paid for by the state.  So you need to get back in saddle with school.  I would suggest avioding home as much as possible, try the library, etc.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 10/31/2010 9:33:40 PM (GMT-6)


Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/31/2010 11:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, that counselor is a lulu. Doesn't mean she isn't able to pull her act together to get you some you sort of referal person to talk to who will be more professional. Since she has no wall, then you will need to be concise, plan ahead, and simply say, I am being abused and neglected. Help me. Write it on a note and give it to her. I am adamant about this because it is so easy to try, and hopefully you will get free attention.

What? $22 for fingerprinting? Is this thru the DMV? or whatever they call the place where you get a drivers license. I think this is important because you need a job.

Anyone in the neighborhood you could rake leaves for? Its that season in Ohio, I think. Dog wallking? If you got the money to go to CA, maybe you could shoot for Thanksgiving.

Still, continue to think of your future. With animals maybe. I wonder how much a bus ticket would be, maybe a student discount, do you have a school ID, picture? and Christmas break would be the ideal time to get to CA and get into school, you are a senior, right? You could get the ID in CA.

Don't forget what you said, not to rub it in, but you said "Help plz", thats why I am bombarding you with ideas. You don't have to take any of them, but we have your best interests at heart. Do-overs in life are kinda hard, while you are this age, you can be utilizing your age to help yourself out of this hole.
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression
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