I have been severely depressed since high school, but didn’t get treatment until panic attacks were added to the mix. This was 16 years ago- since then I have been on a myriad of drugs and have seen several different therapists with varying degrees of success. I did what I was supposed to do: I stopped smoking, drinking, and cut out caffeine.
The problem is that I can’t see the point in living. It seems like my life is a constant effort to keep from feeling bad and after all these years I am tired of trying. When does it get better? I have told this to my shrink several times and his answer is always just to increase my meds (it helps with the panic attacks, but not the depression).
My family is sick of hearing about it and fed up with my problems disrupting their lives. I try not to expose that side of myself too much to my friends as I’m afraid they will react the way my family has. Going out to meet people seems to make it worse as I can’t stop the negative thoughts about myself and I usually come home feeling much worse.
I don’t know what to do. I feel like I have done what I am supposed to do….I have considered more extreme measures, like hospitalization, but don’t know if it would help.
Any help would be appreciated, thank you.