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chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 9:01 PM (GMT -6)   
im thirteen years old and was abused by a former step father numerous times...and i have nightmares every night....one time he choked me against a wall until i passed out...since then its been going down hill....i now cant stop hurting myself...ive been picked on my whole life so please dont call me a phsycho or anything else....i need help...every night for 8 years of my life i had the crap kicked outta me...i had to go to school coverd with bruises and black eyes and try to explain it to everyone

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/3/2010 6:20:25 PM (GMT-6)


chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 9:22 PM (GMT -6)   
i cant sleep...im really depressed and i dont know how much longer i can keep living like this

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 9:32 PM (GMT -6)   
mo?...it happend like 4 years ago....to late for the cops...and nobody beileived me then...trust me i tried to get help..why do you think i came here...i did talk to a councilor but seriously im not gonna tell her i ...everybody will say im a psychopath

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/3/2010 6:22:41 PM (GMT-6)


chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 9:40 PM (GMT -6)   
what do you meen am i safe?....i am getting help im talkin to you am i not...and i dont want my parents finding out that would not end well....

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 9:54 PM (GMT -6)   
idk i guess..im not slashing my wrists....and sry if it seems im fighting against you...its hard to talk about this...and no im not...im grateful for your help...idk it helps to talk

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   
im not gonna tell councilors everything cuz they will tell my parents then ill be put on anti depreasants and ive been there before and i aint goin there again....im not gonna lie

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/3/2010 6:24:11 PM (GMT-6)


chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 10:10 PM (GMT -6)   
idk..life just hurts......ive lost so many of my closest friends...my gf broke up with me...i cant even tell my mom whats going on....life is just so god darn hard

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 10:18 PM (GMT -6)   
ive hinted at it and her reaction isnt good....and i dont want ppl to know cuz if they find out i  i will go frome having a few friends to having none

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/3/2010 6:25:00 PM (GMT-6)


chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 10:27 PM (GMT -6)   
1969 dodge charger with a hemi and a supercharger with a holley carb and air scope...with a twin cam...edelbrock heads...hydrolic lifters.. after market pistons,rings,and intake manifold...with a magna flow exaughst system...that is my dream car........ask whatever you want about what happend and whatever goes with it

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 10:35 PM (GMT -6)   
get a harley my dads got 3 there amazing.....well i do wanna talk about i just dont know what to say

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 10:46 PM (GMT -6)   
ptsd?...i wasnt sexually viaolated...yah ive changed alot..i have huge trust issues...and more aggressive...yah i isolate myself...no its okay dont worry it aint to much...i can take alot trust me

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 10:53 PM (GMT -6)   
and i cant sleep like ever....what is a ptsd....idk generally when im at home i stay in my room all the time so alot...when ppl tick me off or yell at me...and it was both physical and emotional

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 11:13 PM (GMT -6)   
yeah i write poems...and i write music and play my sax....its 11 12 here....can you plz tell me what an pstd is???....i try to be happy but it just gets worse...and i keep having thoughts

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/3/2010 6:18:43 PM (GMT-6)


chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 11:26 PM (GMT -6)   
sometimes..not really...i dont want anti depressants..and if i go to a hospital that will happen...

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 11:38 PM (GMT -6)   
sure....but seriously what is the point of life...i meen why should i stick around

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2010 11:46 PM (GMT -6)   
im not gonna do anything tonight dont worry....and i feel like crap...im tired aas hell i cant sleep...and every time i close my eys i have nightmares.....yah its helping

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/3/2010 4:51 PM (GMT -6)   
k thx for the help.....

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 11/3/2010 6:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Chucky,

I am Karen. I am just wondering if you are feeling better today? I sure do hope so. Keep your chin up. Life is good. Sometimes we feel hopeless, but there is always a corner to turn that makes things seem better. Find some books on depression. Are you in school? I didn't read all of the posts. I just read the last few and thought that I would like to respond. Do you have a therapist that you could see? Or are you seeing one? Are you on any medications? I hope that you have contact with somebody that can give you some help. Let me know if you are a teen, there are a number of teen sites that I could give you that could help you.

Hugs Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 11/3/2010 6:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Chucky,

I was late getting to this thread. I did have to edit a lot of your posts. We are not to discuss self harm or suicide on this forum. Administrative rules. Sorry. So please no more discussion of self harm or suicide. I will get you those sites.
 


Thanks,
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

chucky455
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/3/2010 7:30 PM (GMT -6)   
yah im almost 14

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 11/4/2010 5:47 AM (GMT -6)   
hi chucky, i am jamie, male and 38 years of age.
 
i can see that you have been given a lot of support by
siobhan and karen. both wonderful people.
 
chucky, you resemble some of what i went through between the ages of 12-17. me, was physically abused by a brut of a man at his lesuire, and he used various nasty methods as well.
i can't say exactly, per forum rules, but i thiink you know what i am talking about. i am also a survivor of sexual abuse as well. i also coped humilation, psychological torment and was made to do any chore or whim he required.
 
we are all different chucky, as you are from me, similar circumstances though. the reason i am posting is to help you, help you. i want to try to aide in understanding your pain. okay without any bs, i don't want you going down the path i went, and i see from reading your posts that this pain has manifested strongly.
 
okay, man do i regret refusing help, but i know that at this age you are this is very darn hard. i fully get that. i did the same. so me, been depressed and unwell since my first dx at age 15. i dealt with it in destructing ways, and yes via the same methods you are doing as well. this is a massive indicator that this manifested pain is very deep........and that you need prompt help. it is only, really in the last 8 yrs that i have soughted stuff out. this pain effects and affects you, affect meaning behaviour, geez chucky if i could turn back that darn clock!!!!!!!!!!
 
chucky i was both affected and effected massively, with jobs, education, housing and getting myself into very bad coping mechnisms, i DO NOT  want this for you!!!!
i have had 28 very lengthy psychiatric admissions, also i was case-managed and watched by my local mental health team, i lost my family for 3 years straight, they couldn't cope with anger, rage and self destruction. i lost my spot at uni, i had to quit work, i am now on a disability pension, and haven't worked in ten yrs. relationships turned ugly, dear friends left me, i was homelesss for nearly 3 yrs.
 
i went into a psycho-social inpatient program in 04. 6months, due to being dx with severe borderline personality disorder. when i got out, a few months later i lost the plot, no support, wasn't eating drinking, sleeping, thus i was hospitalised and had six treatments of ECT. i am on meds, would be lost and or gone without them. actually ECT saved my life. i have spent a long time in psych hospitals, darn long time, but chucky, be brave, you have been brave coming here. if you need anti-deps then you neeed them. if you need treatment, therapy then accept it, i wish i had the balls back then, but i was stupid, i was racked with fear. seeking assistance reduces the fear and in-time the fear disipates. my pain i know and what i went thru would have reduced my pain, thus my stop sign would have come sooner, sadly, it just alludes. albeit i never give in nor surrender!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
i don't want to see your life story at 38, that reads like mine.
pls....keep talking with us, pls find someone who will listen, pls know that with early help your painfull road will have a stop sign a lot sooner. if i can be of help, i am always around. the other thing-i am not trying to scare you or anything, actually it is the other way round. you are a precious human being with gifts and talents unique to you. i alike you and everyone on this planet a work in progress. sometimes the smallest of steps turn out to be the largest.
 
i send you my compassion. jamie.
all the best.
 
BI-POLAR-1, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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