Lost. Alone. Forgotten.

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/4/2010 9:27 PM (GMT -6)   
I must have done something horrific at some point to desereve a life like mine.
I have no one.
My dad wants nothing to do with me for he is unable to take responsibility for his own actions.
My mom thinks it is okay for me to suffer so long as everyone else is content (she outright told me this).
My sister is self-absorbed and could care less about anyone but herself.
The rest of my family have fallen victim to my moms lies and have thus sided with her.
As for friends, I have none. They all disappeared at the first sign of a few     on my arm. Not really friends I guess...
My entire life I have suffered the repercussions of other peoples actions. Pushed aside, forgotten, and left to silently scream in pain.
I am the one who has been permanently scarred with an eating disorder, and severe depression. Why does no one care?
I am the one who was bestowed upon the unfortunate fate of being told that in order to smile again I need surgery. What parents would start a process to attaining this only to abandon their daugher a few months prior to surgery after years of preparation (when I say years, I mean since I was in elementary school...I am now 19). I am unable to eat properly and am speech imparied as result. My parents don't care. It is not their impairments. Just their daughters.
All of this leads to the absence of self-esteem and severe hatred towards myself.
Basically, I am treated as one who is disposable; After someone has obtained their use out of me, I am tossed aside and left to slowly decompose.
I am sorry sweetie, we aren't allowed to discuss self harm on this forum.  Here is a site that might help you:
Hugs, Karen

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/5/2010 6:20:26 AM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 164
   Posted 11/4/2010 10:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sumatran Tyger,
I am so glad you posted here.  People are messed up - there's no doubt of that, and you are caught in a situation that is really difficult.  I feel bad for you because I know how situations can harm one's self worth and confidence and their ability to get any joy out ouf life.  
I can't tell you why no one cares "out there," but be assured we care in here.  There are people who do care "out there," but you have to find them.   But here, you don't have to look far for caring and kindness.  Why we care here is because we do understand what you are going through because most of us have gone through it ourselves and are still going through it.
That your parents would not follow through with what is an obligation (from my point of view) really bothers me.  I'm angered by that, in fact.  But let's not deal with them - let's deal with you - because you are important and your health and well being are foremost important.
Don't hate yourself.  You are not the cause of this.  Don't consider yourself to be any less of a person for any reason at all.  I know that's hard to do - to think that way when you have so many things hurting you, but try your best.
I'm not an advice person for resources because I'm still new to HW - there are others far more versed in where to go and where to seek help than I am.  I would think an important step for you though would be to have the corrective surgery that you never got, and I know that might seem like light years away, but I think it's really critical because if you can't eat properly - that's just not right at all.
Maybe others here can guide you to resources that could help there as well.
Nevertheless, I am here to listen, and I hope that helps in some way.
See - someone who already cares about you - and I've only known you for less than an hour.  turn

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 11/5/2010 7:21 AM (GMT -6)   
I had to edit your post, we are not allowed to discuss self harm. But there is help for you. I left you a site on your post that you can go to for help. And by all means, keep posting here. We are here for you and we do care.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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