I have issues with the way I see myself, and things aren't getting any better

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LFLovesMJ
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/5/2010 9:06 PM (GMT -6)   
So basically I feel like I'm ugly, and no matter how many times someone tells me otherwise, I still don't believe them. Recently, in school random people just walk over to me and say things like "hey babe" for a joke, and it just makes me feel so much worse and it really gets to me. Any ideas on what to do? Thanks.

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 11/6/2010 5:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Heej LF,

This sounds awfully familiar to what I have been through. Please go to Wikipedia (or a library) and search for Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

To tell you a little of my history, basically I started feeling so ugly and deformed that I really thought I had to be the most hideous thing on this Earth. Like an experiment conducted by aliens to create a lifeform that resembled a human, but failed miserably. The feeling was so bad it made me unable to leave the house to go to the local store cause I felt everybody was disgusted by me. I have never been called ugly, in fact the opposite was for more likely to happen, but I didn't believe them cause in the mirror I could see what I looked like. Now I know the mirror lied.

You say you are in school, so I assume you are still a teenager or in your early 20's. In that age, almost everyone starts to feel uncomfortable with the way they look. However, with some people the worry will get so bad that they are suffering from it. It seems to be the case with you.

Please try to get help with this. You can start with talking to a school counselor, a general practitioner, or friends / family. I used to keep it to myself, and if you don't share it your worries will just pile up. I ended up in 20-hour a week therapy for 9 months, on meds, the whole deal. I was forced to quit my medicine study, couldn't go out, and at some point was unable to show myself to anyone but my parents, brother, and sister.

One more thing I like to add. The most important thing in how you look isn't exactly what you look like. You can have pretty hair, a good body, etc., but what matters is how you feel on the inside. Happy, caring people tend to be way more attractive than aggressive or grumpy folks. I guess this has to do with a certain precaution you take when you are talking to someone who is grumpy or very self conscious, cause you don't know what reaction your words will evoke.

Anyway, I think you just took a major first step in telling us here! Take care, and all the very best!

Cheers,
Erik

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 11/6/2010 8:09 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Erik, often we don't see ourselves for who we really are. And when it ocmes down to it, looks aren't important at all. It is who we are inside. That can make us glow.

Keep posting and know that we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

sometimesscaredstiff
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 11/7/2010 7:23 PM (GMT -6)   
When I used to look at magazines I would feel very jealous of the celebrities and how perfect they are. One time I was watching E! and I asked my boyfriend if I was prettier than the girl on there and he didn't say Yes as a normal boyfriend would, he said ' You shouldn't compare yourself to people on TV' and I went ballistic and started crying because I thought that I would never be pretty enough to be on TV used to be very concerned about how I look and thankfully I love the way I look now but it hasn't come easy. I did get cosmetic surgery and it has changed my life in so many ways, it was something that I have always wanted and I knew it was risky and it is not for everyone, it is not a cure all but it did work for me. That one change changed my life and has given me more confidence.
Don't compare yourself to others. I recently saw a video of Heidi Klum getting her make up applied and let me tell you, ANYONE can look as good as Heidi. I would experiment with your looks do a couple of subtle changes.
Do people know that you think that you are ugly? Sometimes if someone knows that you have a weak spot they will focus on that.
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