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windsor
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/5/2010 10:01 PM (GMT -6)   
I have a friend who has admitted to having Depression and Anxiety problems.  He has been on medication for about 6 years, but since the summer his depression has returned.  He realizes this, and knows he has to do something about it, but wont.
 
Recently he has been getting worse. Admitting to always being sad and having no ambition.  He sleeps most of his day away now.  We have been fighting a lot lately.  Anything I say upsets him, and he tells me I am judging him, even when I am not.  He has now asked for space, and told me to disappear.  Is this normal?  What do I do?

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 11/6/2010 2:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Windsor,

I think the best thing you can do for your friend is treat him the same way you did before you knew he had depression. Clearly you were good friends then, as you were not talking about the 'black dog'.

Yes, it is normal, if all people can talk to me about is my depression, I don't want a bar of them, I will push them away. I am more than my depression, and just want others to be 'normal' around me, bringing reprieve and balance to my life.

This doesn't mean, you did anything wrong, you clearly care, but bringing balance to his life, is far more helpful than trying to 'fix' him.

This sounds harsh, that isn't my intention, I am just answering your question honestly though.

Hope things work out for both of you, good luck, and it is great you have stuck by him.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/6/2010 8:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello and welcome to HealingWell.
 
Helping someone with depression can be a challenge.

Remember that your friend's depression isn't your fault or  their fault. You can't cure his  depression — but your support and understanding can help. You can provide support and encouragement in a number of ways.

Let your  friend know that you want to understand how he  feels and that you're willing to listen. Because of depression, your friend  may not feel like discussing his  symptoms. So when he  is interested in talking, listen carefully but avoid giving advice or opinions — responses that may discourage further conversation. Try not to judge or criticize the feelings your friend expresses. Just listening and being understanding can be a powerful healing tool.

Depression can make people feel worthless. They may judge themselves harshly and find fault with everything about themselves, from their appearance to their job performance to their thoughts and feelings. You can remind your friend about his  positive qualities and how much he  means to you and others.

Finally be patient with him.  Remind yourself that depression symptoms do improve with treatment, but it can take time.  Hopefully he will see his Dr. and perhaps a new medication or therapy would help him.  When you depressed it is hard to make decisions but most of us will come to realize we need help and will take that step.

Take care of yourself and keep talking with us.

Kindly,

Kitt

 


~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 11/8/2010 9:18 AM (GMT -6)   
PS, DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR FRIEND. EVEN IF HE/SHE IS PUSHING YOU AWAY. I TOO HAVE DONE THIS IN A DARK DEPRESSIVE TIME. WITH COMPASSION. JAMIE. WE DO REMEMBER THOSE THAT STICK BY US!! THX 4 BEING A GOOD FRIEND.
BI-POLAR-1, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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