I'm having an emotional upheaval as well, and not even on ad's, just 5HP, Valerian and Melatonin, which I thought were so "innocent".
I'm experiencing kind of wild laughter, and quick frightening throes of melancholy, and its scary because its inappropriate to whats going on, and I can barely control it when it gets rolling.
Wish I could sedate myself, be flat again for awhile. Its a roller coaster. I want to be numb.
You may have made a mistake in choosing your college, or are just grappling in depression, self-criticism, and criticism of life in general. Miserable fall season, so beautiful, but the time change, the light change, and the pending holidays are ripe with the desire to avoid. I'm getting sucked in, maybe you are too. But all is not lost.
Do seek pdoc advice and perhaps change the antidepressants. Re-evaluate when you are more stable.
You're thjis far along in the semester, quarter, or session, I mean. Hang in, think over what you want to do regarding school carefully, make pros and cons lists. Prepare to make the decision of changing. Personally, would be overwhelmed at huge, milling crowds and classrooms. Then again could feel "lost" in the crowd as a good thing. Is it seeing the same people repeatedly that is getting on your nerves? Is it dorm living? Identify.
People like to see you laughing rather than crying. Eases their mind when they know you are depressed and volatile. They can't understand uncontrollable emotion, and despise depression, well we all do. No one wants to see you crying and "stuck". Human nature.
Got called some "adjectives" myself tonight, sick, sad, and pathetic. To which I retorted, yes, I'm mentally ill. No cure, not much help or hope. All seem to be after my money and using me. Don't care what you think, or want your opinion. Keep away from me. I do know that you are hurting me and won't allow that. You have the compassion and undertanding of a gnat. Be gone.
Loved ones get tired of it. It isn't easy for them to witness. Up to us to take initiative at helping ourselves as much as possible. And get treatment too. Hold each other up.
The Bible says something like, don't cast your pearls before swine, that's a deep one, but think it fits here.
We have to keep our heads above water, tread water while we can. Work at not getting sucked under. Grab onto any small branch to stay afloat. Be determined to stay afloat. Accept the life=ring if we have to go to the Er, or get in to see the doc on an emergency appt.
Best wishes, Scythia, NB, keep yourself safe. Don't succomb to the depths.