Hi, just an intro to the community and hopefully some help.
I am 18 and male. I definitely suffer from low self esteem and always bring my-self down even though in my heart or hearts i am quite decent at school/college. I am not bad looking, but i sometimes feel like i am. the major issues i usually have are not being able to accept compliments and simply brushing them off and taking any negative critism to heart. i often think i am not good enough. Additionally, i have lost my motivation is life (for many years now) and never done anything about
it. i don't go out often, i don't play any team sports or pursue any real interests. as for education, i only persue interest in that, because i want to do well, but i ain't even sure anymore if that is from within me or just teachings of my parents who very much focus on such things. i often come up with excuses for myself and claim that i have studies to do, to avoid interaction or any activities. i avoid other activities believing others will judge me and not really want me there, or i will not fit in. if i have to go somewhere or do go, i often create a facade that i am happy and fit in, showing off a bit of confidence and friendly banter, to try and make new friends, but ultimately this falls down and i am left alone with more of an acquitence than a friend at all (just someone i know, but never really speak to or purposely avoid if i see them coming the other way). i have suffered from these symptoms/signs for years now and i have only ever spoken to one online counsellor about
it (for 1 hr). why? i am not sure myself, but i think it is because i just tell myself most of the times that things are alright, and i constantly just say i am content with life, when really i am not. every few weeks, something or other happens that just brings me down, and then i feel like crap for a few days to follow. i pick myself off and brush it off thinking it was nothing. that is another question i would like to know. is it depression i suffer from, if i feel crappy only every so often (and no it isn't the type of feeling where an ordinary person goes through an emotional rollercoster through life)(i am not a very emotional person to be honest, i don't feel overaly happy ever, and just content; and same with a small downfall, i brush it off, but maybe deep down it is all building up and affecting me, i ain't sure?). it has taken me a long while to do anything, as like i said i brush it off and continue with life.
hope i can get some help here. thanks and also sorry for having no real structure to this, i just put down anything i could think off at the top of my head.
Post Edited (boy1234) : 11/7/2010 1:50:21 AM (GMT-6)