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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/9/2010 1:02 PM (GMT -6)   
My frien has recently been discovered to be  herself she does not yet know i know but I promised her when this happened before that I would not say anything, I just don't know what to do for the best. She does it because she lost her dad about 6 years ago and lately she has been really upset about it
I dont know what to do please help :-(

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/9/2010 12:23:27 PM (GMT-7)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42201
   Posted 11/9/2010 1:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lolly,

This is something that we aren't allowed to discuss on the forum, but I would recommend trying to get her to talk to a counselor. Or to her family doctor. You can't fix her so to speak, but you can encourage her to get help. I would let her know that you know and that you are there for her. You are a good friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 11/9/2010 1:49 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Karen that you are a good friend. I am guessing that you are in school. If that is the case, you can talk to a teacher, coach or counselor. Pick someone you trust, if possible choose someone who knows you & your friend both. It is normal to be upset again about a loss after some time, but what she is doing is very, very dangerous. She needs to find a safer way to feel better about things, but that is easier said than done. An adult who knows both of you should know how to talk to her & get her connected with people who can help her with all those sad feelings.
You could also try encouraging her to talk to her mom. Her mom knows what it feels like to miss her dad & they can try to figure things out together. Sometimes young people feel like they don't want to "upset" or "bother" their living parent with their problems since they know mom/dad are probably dealing with their own sadness (sometimes not very well) but the reality is that even if their living parent is sad, usually they are the best able to help their child process their feelings about the loss. And helping others, especially one's own child, tends to make the adults feel BETTER about themselves, NOT worse. I know it doesn't seem like that's possible, but it's true. Parents like helping their children. They feel good about doing that. If they are really sad & get to help their child deal with grief, they will feel better. So that really is the best option.

take care,
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