post divorce moving on

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movingon45
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/11/2010 9:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi! I am new to forums and was wondering if there is anyone with experience with the problem I have been dealing with for the past 6 years. I have an ex husband who will just not let me go. He is unable to move on thus I have allowed him to prevent me from moving on. It is to the point that he makes me physically ill dealing with him, but I do it anyway to keep a decent relationship with him for the kids. He needs help, but I cannot help him. I need help finding a way to stop allowing him to bring me down so much which is what he did our entire 20 yr marriage, 

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 11/13/2010 10:11 PM (GMT -6)   
You have to set up boundaries, limits, and live your own life. Be blunt, tell him quietly away from the kids that he is calling too much and coming over too much. And emphasize that after all that IS why you are divorced. You need your own space.

He needs to seek help for his problems, you can't do it for him. Tell him he needs a professional to talk to. And get someone for yourself to help you deal with him, as I am sure you need advice and support after 20 yrs of that.

Being peaceable and presenting a united front is great for the kids. He's taking advantage of you by using that, "for the kids" to discuss his personal issues. You gotta sever it.

What I think, anyway. Hope it helps.
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

"Do something everyday to make tomorrow better."

"One good change creates another."

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 11/14/2010 6:36 AM (GMT -6)   
YOU MAY REQUIRE AN INTERVENTION ORDER. I WOULD DISCUSS YOUR SITUATION WITH YOUR LOCAL POLICE. THEY CAN PREPARE A STATEMENT FOR YOU SO THE JUDGE/MAGISTRATE CAN MAKE AN EFFECTIVE RULING. BE SAFE. WITH COMPASSION, JAMIE.
BI-POLAR-1, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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