Thanks for posting your thoughts - they are understood - completely.
As I have been finding out, even though there are a class of ADs, such as SSRIs, they all don't work the same way, and there are differences between meds for different people. Seems to me your GP doesn't know enough about the meds to make a proper decision for you - no downing GPs, but they just don't have the expertise with ADs to be good advisors.
I would recommend, if you can, see a psychiatrist. I just saw one today, and she was a wealth of information, and she really understood the problems I had with some ADs I was on. She also made a different diagnosis for me than what the GPs had done, and it had everything to do with her knowledge of psychiatry - something GPs just don't have. She also told me the meds I was on were not correct for what I have, in fact, one of them couldn't even do anything about it, except perhaps worsen it.
I've been through the SH stuff. I understand it, and why you are doing it. It seems to make sense, but ultimately it really doesn't when you step out and look back at it. Realize there are others here who also understand why you are doing it, and you are right about being judged by others about it - so stay here and talk with us about your problems - vent all you want.
I wish you well and hope that something I've said here may help you find a straighter path.