going through a tough time-venting

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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 11/12/2010 11:28 AM (GMT -6)   
hi all, i have been depressed since i was 13(10 yrs), i have tried all different meds and therapists etc, but i cant seem to shake it off.
It's fair to say i had a rough childhood, i was raped when i was 12 and my life just seemed to take a downward toll.

The best things i have in my life are my husband and my animals, but that might not be for much longer, as my husband is being tested for animal asthma, so my pets might have to go sad .

Its fair to say i have been quite selfish in our relationship, what with , without thinking about my husbands feelings, we have split up a few times because of it and they were the worse times of my adult life.

I still  now, it just helps to relieve everything. My husband doesnt really understand whats going on and when i try to talk about it, he says he doesnt want to hear it because it upsets him too much, i dont have any family i can talk to unless i want to be judged and hated for it.

I am on antidepressants, which i dont find are working, i have asked my gp to be put on different ones, but he's refusing to put me on anything stronger, as the ones im on now are fairly strong and they should be working.

I have tried doing everything that is suppose to make me feel better, but if anything, they make me worse, i just dont know what to do anymore.

I feel slightly better by getting this off my chest, but i know it will only be a matter of time before i go crashing again.

thanks for letting me vent.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/13/2010 5:07:12 AM (GMT-7)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 11/12/2010 11:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi defib

Can you come up with some other stratergies for coping instead of what you have been doing?

I remember how hard it was to stop doing that, it is an addictive behaviour, but a very dangerous thing to do.

Do you know what a 'silent scream' is. That's a scream that comes from your very core, it is strong, and when you open your mouth, there is no noise, but inside you are screaming to get some of the feelings out.

I found this a really good alternitive when I was trying to stop the dangerous behaviour.

Can you find some alternatives that will work for you?

Glad you are feeling a little better, and hope you go from strength the strength

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 164
   Posted 11/12/2010 10:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Defib,
Thanks for posting your thoughts - they are understood - completely.
As I have been finding out, even though there are a class of ADs, such as SSRIs, they all don't work the same way, and there are differences between meds for different people.  Seems to me your GP doesn't know enough about the meds to make a proper decision for you - no downing GPs, but they just don't have the expertise with ADs to be good advisors.
I would recommend, if you can, see a psychiatrist.  I just saw one today, and she was a wealth of information, and she really understood the problems I had with some ADs I was on.  She also made a different diagnosis for me than what the GPs had done, and it had everything to do with her knowledge of psychiatry - something GPs just don't have.  She also told me the meds I was on were not correct for what I have, in fact, one of them couldn't even do anything about it, except perhaps worsen it.
I've been through the SH stuff.  I understand it, and why you are doing it.  It seems to make sense, but ultimately it really doesn't when you step out and look back at it.  Realize there are others here who also understand why you are doing it, and you are right about being judged by others about it - so stay here and talk with us about your problems - vent all you want.
I wish you well and hope that something I've said here may help you find a straighter path.
OCD Scythia

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/13/2010 7:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

Welcome to the forum. I have to ask you please not to go into detail about self harm. We aren't allowed to discuss that on this forum. I will have to edit your post, but enough people have read it to understand what you are talking about.

Are you going to any counseling for help? I highly recommend that. Please do keep posting and know that we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 11/13/2010 9:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Really, you have gone as far as you can with a GP/. Go to a psychiatrist, you have a lot of things to deal with, your childhood, some relationship issues, trauma, just to name what you said. With a full psych evaluation, you may be prescribed meds more appropriate to your condition, and you should definitely go to therapy. You have a lot of old stuff pulling you down, and have to manage your current life, and cope with illness. That's a lot. You have to start somewhere. There is hope.
Severe depression

"Do something everyday to make tomorrow better."

"One good change creates another."
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