lost my spouse

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Kevin37
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/14/2010 1:37 PM (GMT -6)   
What kind of feelings are there when you loose a spouse? I have this horrible emptyness inside!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/14/2010 10:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kevin,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression Forum. I am sorry for your loss. I would suggest some grief counseling. We all grieve differently. How long ago was this? Know that we are here to support you in your time of loss. Please keep posting as there will be a lot more people on the forum tomorrow.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 11/15/2010 8:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Emptiness would be a very normal feeling after the loss of your spouse.
Get grief counseling, and search for a grief support group to join. aThere are lots of them, check with local churches, hospitals, and call them. If you don't care for one, just go a couple times, then switch to another. I attended 3 different support groups all at the same time. It really helped fill my time, and I made some good acquaintances, which further helped.
Getting help now will help you move on and keep going. Don't feel guilty about it. Its the smart thing to do.
Continue to post here, its a great place to vent, and get some support.
Best wishes,
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

"Do something everyday to make tomorrow better."

"One good change creates another."

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 11/16/2010 4:58 AM (GMT -6)   
KEVIN. MY SINCERE CONDOLENCES OVER YOUR LOSS.
 
i too have felt this pain. grief is a very personal and unique.
 
1. there is no right or wrong way.
2. help is available.
3. there will be days of tears, days of deep despair.
4. the why question, the anger and the loving loss too.
5. there are days of pain, times of reflection, and the one that i do is communication. i always speak to her.
 
therapy has helped me. my healing compassionate prayers are with you at this time. jamie.
 
 
BI-POLAR-1, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/16/2010 11:01 AM (GMT -6)   
 
My sincere sympathy at the loss of your spouse. 

Grief is a normal and healthy response to loss, not an illness. Its symptoms are painful, but they serve an adaptive purpose. Most grief runs its course with the support of your friends/family. But sometimes grief can trigger depression .
When grief triggers depression, the sadness can be unrelenting and overwhelming. Some people describe it as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. Even when participating in activities you used to enjoy, you feel as if you are just “going through the motions.” You may also feel numb, lifeless and empty.

I would like to encourage you to consider counseling to help you through this painful time. One on one counseling can help you understand your feelings as well as teach you skills to cope with your pain.

Others have mentioned the grief counseling too so please considered this.  Also stick with us as we are here to support you.

Kindly,

Kitt


 
~~Kitt~~
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Potsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 291
   Posted 11/16/2010 7:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Kevin, I lost my husband on Oct 22. I can understand how you feel. Fortunately, I was already on anti-depressants, so that helped. I'm sorry for your loss.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/16/2010 9:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Potsie,

I am sorry for your loss too. I lost my first husband in 2000. but the date was October 21. It was sweetest day. I hope that you have help coping. Keep posting here as we are here for you too.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 11/16/2010 9:46 PM (GMT -6)   
MY SINCERE CONDOLENCES TO YOU POTSIE. HERE FOR YOU.

WITH HEALING COMPASSIONATE PRAYERS, JAMIE.
BI-POLAR-1, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

engraved
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 11/18/2010 3:41 PM (GMT -6)   
my condulgences to you on your loss. grieve any way you'd like, there is no magic right or wrong way, you will grieve in your own time, as well. you will never forget her. but instead of focusing on her death, focus on her life, your lives together, and how that made you happy. i think that will help. it will get better with time.

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 11/19/2010 11:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Kevin, I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand how painful this is for you. I would
like to make a few suggestions. Most hospices have grief support groups and you do not have to have a family member who was in hospice to join their support groups. They are very kind and comforting. The other suggestion is to go online to a group called
Compassionate friends. You would be able to locate a group in your area if there is one
but if not you would find the benefit of all of their helpful information. Also, if you have a church you attend I am sure your pastor must have compassionate counseling.
I wish you the best in dealing with your loss and will keep you in my prayers. And for your own benefit there is great power in prayer.
 
Aurora

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/20/2010 6:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Kevin,
I am so sorry for your loss of your wife. I think grief is different for every person and every situation.
I have been sitting here awhile trying to figure out the right words to say beyond I am sorry.
I am sorry you have to deal with such loss and pain. 
I am so sorry that life is so rough right now.  How can I assure you that life does get better?  Because I want to.
I will say that therapy does help me deal with losing the people that I loved. 
In my personal experience I took me several different mental health care professionals to find one who was a good fit for me. 
I know that is pretty fragmented, but I hope that helps you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you Kevin.
Navy
 
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I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 11/20/2010 6:49:38 AM (GMT-7)

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