i made the appointment

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worriedgirl
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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 11/15/2010 8:45 AM (GMT -6)   
so i went ahead and took the first step and made an appointment. i will be going tomorrow to talk with someone and hopefully get on a mood stablizer. i hope they do it because even though i am not showing it facial wise and body wise i am feeling it. i am stressed out but i cant show it cause it will effect my daughter. i know most is because of my job, is it sad that i let my job get me to this point. some is from stress at home but a majority is one of the managers at my job who has pushed me this far. i cant do it anymore, and i know i cant do it on my own. i am weak i guess.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 11/15/2010 9:15 AM (GMT -6)   
You are not weak WG. You are just going through a difficult time. We all need help at some point. I really hope that you get the mood stabilizer, I take abilify and it really helps. So I hope that you get something to help you. You have been through a lot and a little help does not make you weak. You are a good person, remember that always.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 11/15/2010 9:54 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks karen. it makes me feel weak. i have had a manager that treated me like this before and it never got to me so i dont understand why i am letting this guy do it to me. maybe because he is texting me too. it was a mistake to allow him to in the first place but i thought he was a better person. but ever since my father in law died he has been treating me like crap. i hope i also get something to help me. i cant handle this and i feel like im on the verge of snapping.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 11/15/2010 12:33 PM (GMT -6)   
I have similar thoughts as you of being weak because i am dealing with depression and that i should be able to "fix it" But in reality if you were weak you would have already given up and not made the appointment or given the effort. The TRUTH is that we here are all stronger than most people because we are willing to give the effort and time/money to say i want a better life and am willing to do whatever it takes to get it, most people don't have to fight as we do to have a normal life. You are not weak, you are strong and we believe in you. :)

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 11/15/2010 5:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Its very wise to realize when you have had enough, and take the initiative to get help. You are not weak. Sometimes we are stronger than others, that's OK, we're human.
Next time your boss texts you, why don't you text him back and say "Please don't text me anymore, I prefer you to reach me by xxxxx." Just get him to stop. That's setting a boundary, and you are entitled to do that.
Its like the phone, its my phone and when someone is calling, I screen, that I know is going to effect me negatively, I let it go. And if it comes up, I just say, oh, sorry, didn't get to my return calls. And quickly say, how ya doin today? They start blabbing and forget about it.
Have a thought session with yourself and ask yourself exactly what does he do to make you feel like crap. Like a list. Its him, not you. If you can put a stop to anything more, you will be better off for it.
Some people like to walk all over us, but then again, we let them, and they get used to it. Its OK to backtrack and change some things, you have a right to do so, for your sanity.
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

"Do something everyday to make tomorrow better."

"One good change creates another."

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 11/15/2010 6:43 PM (GMT -6)   
all the best with it WG. well done. jamie :-)
BI-POLAR-1, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 11/16/2010 3:39 PM (GMT -6)   
i went to the therapist and i cried, literally cried and told him everything that i was feeling and how i snap at people and sometimes yell. i then got scared and asked if they can take my kid away and he said no that i was strong for coming. he said the way i talk it sounds like my strengths is my ability to put my feelings aside and still be a good mom. he listened so well and may put me on some meds later but today was just an assessment. he said that i sound like im too hard on myself. i feel a lot better today, but i know when work comes it will fade. it felt good to talk to someone about my problems. i hope it works. i like this guy, he has a nice smile and he listens to me and told me w hat sounded like strengths in what i was saying and t hat i am only human. he even said it was not a problem for me to cry. i am going back next tuesday.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 11/16/2010 4:08 PM (GMT -6)   
So glad it went well with you today and that you actually like your therapist, and he is a guy. I think that hearing these things from a guy might make more of an impression on you, more convincing.
Didn't know you were afraid to cry, and it is perfectly OK to do that in the therapists office. When you go back to work, remember what the guy told you, your strengths. Maybe you should jot them down on a card for your purse or wallet, so you can look at them when you are feeling down.
When you're at work, don't take those criticisms to heart, they're coming from hard-nosed workplace competitors. They're heartless.
You are an intelligent, hard working, good woman. Good things will come to you.
Best wishes, and Hooray !
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

"Do something everyday to make tomorrow better."

"One good change creates another."

"Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life."

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 11/16/2010 4:11 PM (GMT -6)   
I saw my psychologist today too. She told me the same thing only different circumstances. But she said I was doing good for what I have been going through and that I am stronger than I think. So we both had good therapy sessions today.

I am so happy that you are going through counseling and that you are feeling better. Try not to project that you wont have the strength at work. You might just surprise yourself. You are in the right, you always have that going for you. Keep your chin up.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 11/16/2010 4:29 PM (GMT -6)   
im so happy karen. and no i am not afraid to cry i just feel weak when i do cry. i am very emotional and it all burst out today. i felt so comfortable with him. i told him how crazy my family is, about my job, and how stressed out i am. he asked if i am open about meds and i said yes, i want to get better. i told him i want to feel happy. one thing i told him is that i dont wear my depression on my sleeves and that no one can tell but im feeling it. i told him that being a mother that i am not allowed to show depression because it will affect my kid. i told him how work was going and about my manager and he said he sounds like a prize lol. i also told him i am on the verge of snapping and doing something i wont be able to take back(walking out and quitting.) so im wondering what the next session will be like.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 11/16/2010 5:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I think that you have started a healing process now and that it will be a continuation of that. It can only get better. It sounds like he is a good therapist and very compassionate and understanding. I am so happy for you. Some of us go years before we find somebody that we click with. I have had quite a few, only one or two that I didn't really like. And I didn't continue with them. But I have learned that they are only human too and some make mistakes. But we are (the patient) the ones who end up suffering some.

It is hard for me to cry. But when I get angry I cry so I am no good in an argument. I can't keep it together for some reason. I use to cry at the drop of a hat. Was very sensitive. I am still sensitive, but don't cry as easy. It can be a huge relief and I am glad that you did. It is cleansing and I am sure that it helped you to feel better.

Anyway, you sound so happy and I am so happy for you. I hope that things continue to go well. For both of us.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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