I'm angry at the world

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

reallyangry
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/17/2010 7:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, new here, and hoping to get some help or advice. I'll try not to make this too long.
I've had a lot of bad, volatile relationships -- romantic and friendships -- and while I've never gotten over being hurt, I moved on. Now though, just in the past few months, I can't stop thinking about the people who have hurt me. I think so much about it that I become enraged. Sometimes I even imagine myself confronting those people and laying into them, and I even tried contacting a couple of them, which didn't go over well. I feel angry all the time, but the past is what makes me the angriest, things that I did wrong or were done wrong to me, and I'm angry that I can't change them or tell people how much they have hurt me. I'll even hear from a friend or anyone really, who tells me about someone who upset them, and then *I* get angry about this thing that didn't even happen to me. Not in a "I care about my friend" kind of way, but in the way where I start thinking about *I* would have done in that situation and how I would never forgive that person or let them forget it. I hate feeling this way. It depresses me to the point of tears.
A lot of changes happened to me around the same time last month. I came off of Effexor (gradually), I started exercising and losing weight (17 pounds so far), and my birth control method went from the patch to the pill. I don't know if it's birth control hormones making me feel so angry, or if it's the Effexor withdrawals (which is an awful drug), but I feel that it's just me. I fly off the handle all the time and no one is even comfortable talking to me anymore because I get so defensive and enraged about everything. I feel like The Incredible Hulk -- no one likes me when I'm angry. I don't keep friends for long, and the only one I have is my boyfriend, because everyone else just pisses me off too much.
I'm on 150 mg of Lamictal, but it's doing nothing for me. I really just want someone to talk to. I don't want to be pumped full of drugs anymore. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of rage? What did you do to stop all those negative thoughts? Any help or advice is so much appreciated.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42494
   Posted 11/17/2010 8:50 PM (GMT -6)   
You need to remember that it takes four to six weeks for the lamictal to reach it's full effect. And going off of effexor is very hard. I went from effexor to pristiq though and it was easy, but had to go really slow. It sounds like maybe you could benefit from a mood stabilizer, but I would recommend therapy to teach you how to live for today and forget about the past. As long as we live in the past, we don't grow. And with your way of thinking right now, it comes down to two wrongs don't make a right. You are wanting to get back at these people when best would be to forget about it and get on with your life. It is all easier said than done. Try to think of it as these people were the bad ones, they hurt you. They have the problem, not you. If they didn't have a problem, they wouldn't want to hurt anybody, unless it was unintentional, which makes my opinion mute.

Just try to build yourself a new life. Start today. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Kick the angriness to the curb. Learn to forgive people. And forgive yourself as well. Talk to your doctor about medications or therapy. Let him know what is going on with you. You deserve to be happy as others are. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

reallyangry
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/17/2010 10:49 PM (GMT -6)   
That was so nice to hear Karen, even from a stranger. I teared up a little. Your opinion is definitely not moot -- I've been betrayed in the worst of ways by very selfish people.

I think what's hurting me the most is how I lash out at the people who love me, because I fear they're going to attack me first, just as it's happened in the past. Everything anyone says to me feels like an attack, and I can't think of it any other way, even if they say it's not. I feel guilty about asking for anything, and I end up saying "Never mind, forget it," and accuse the person of being "snappy".

I know that I am being unreasonable when I do these things. I know it in the moment and I always think "I'm going to do it anyway, even if it's wrong."

Is it possible this is a side effect of the Lamictal? I've been on it in the past but it was 50mg and it didn't last long, and I don't remember feeling this angry all the time. I feel like medication has ruined my body and my mind, and I don't want it anymore.

I just want myself back :(

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42494
   Posted 11/18/2010 10:56 AM (GMT -6)   
I think you should let your doc know how you are feeling. Maybe lamictal isnt' the right drug for you. Maybe you could try something else. There is no reason that you should feel so miserable. And believe me, I know how you feel. You can't control your reactions and it seems we act out in the worst way when we feel like this. Take some deep breaths. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. Called smelling the roses and blowing out the candles. This relaxes us. I hope that you get this sorted out soon. You deserve to feel good.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Tuesday, July 17, 2018 2:58 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,982,303 posts in 326,987 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161810 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, bbm86247.
255 Guest(s), 1 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
getting by