Having a down moment .........

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stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/20/2010 10:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey All,
 
This is the part of depression I hate the most - when for no reason you can think of you just start to feel so dang sad and the tears start as you cannot stop them.  So I am sitting here in tears trying to take my own advice and let them flow without trying to figure out what triggered them.
 
I miss my son, my sisters and brother,  I miss my Dad............... this is where I beg them to look over me and I remember I have angels above.
 
Thank you for being here.
 
Hugs,
Kitt
 
 
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
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"If you can't change the world, change your world"

MMMNAVY
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/20/2010 11:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Kitt,
I am so sorry you are feeling so bad.
Hugs,
Navy
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

awty
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Date Joined Aug 2010
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   Posted 11/20/2010 11:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Lil Ole Kitt,

It's ok to have the down moments, with all you have been through in life, this is very normal, and as long as it doesn't go on for too long, it is also very healing.

When we have lost so many, we can not help but think about the loss as a whole, rather than individual looses. I try to avoid doing it as a whole, I can not help start thinking about my Dad, and then moving to my Grandad, and then my Brother. (They all died the same way)

When I become aware of this, I try not to lump the loss as one HUGE loss, when grouped together, it become to big for me to manage, and too hard to pull myself back again.


As for figuring out what is triggering your emotions, I would hazard a guess and say, the holiday periods approaching. Always does it to me too. We don't need to always figure out the why, just ride the emotions out Kitt, allow them to be, and then when you are ready, pull yourself back again. There is nothing wrong with tears, the tears that fall now, are the ones you won't have to cry again later, it is all healing.

*Holds arms out wide, scoops up Lil Ole Kitt, and holds her tight*, xxxxxxxxxxx

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42498
   Posted 11/20/2010 11:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Kitt,

I am so sorry that you are feeling down. Maybe a good cry would help you feel better. It just seems to come out of nowhere sometimes and we can't put our fingers on it. I know, I get the same way at times. I just start crying for no reason. And it doens't take much to trigger it.

It's Genetic, I didn't know artificial sweeteners could effect a person like that. That is a very interesting concept. I don't use them myself, but I use to use aspertame. Egual...

Kitt, know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that your day gets better.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Trying to Understand
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Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 11/20/2010 12:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Aw, Kitt, that's sad. Happens to all of us, even the strong and pro-active.
How about a movie out? shopping? I was down yesterday, just wanted to pick up the car from the shop, come home and go to bed. But trudged forward, did my errands, and somehow the managed to go till 5:30. Marked off everything on the list. Not so down now.
Remembering your lost loved ones is difficult to handle emotionally. Good that you cried. How about some kind of a special tribute to them, balloon launch, scattering flowers at the duck pond. Make something special that your mom taught you.
Read that lemon juice will counteract acid effects, sounds the opposite, but isn't. Maybe you could put a lemon slice, squeeze it into your beverage.
Hope you achieve some resolve this holiday.
Its hard.

Best wishes,
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

"Do something everyday to make tomorrow better."

"One good change creates another."

"Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life."

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/20/2010 2:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you everyone.  Awty, great idea,  separate out the thoughts but like you said when my son comes to mind then I relive all of the losses as the feelings come flooding in.  A good cry is what I had and then I hugged my dog.  You can swoop down and grab me anytime and yes the holidays are always a bit rough as the bitter sweet memories pop up. I will work on staying in the present and making new holiday memories.
 
siobhan,  Thinking of the mittens put a really big smile on my face.  I laugh when I think how hard it is to drive with mittens on my hands to ward off the 30 below 0 wind chills we get here in the tundra. Thank you sweetie.
 
Sandy,  Thank you for your words of wisdom and comfort.  I am making lists for tommorow and I will just do it.  For today I am going to do some online Christmas shopping.  I will make it a point to buy the Christmas wreath for my son's grave and my hubby will hang it for me when he comes home from upnorth on Wednesday.  My birth Mom died when I was about 18 months old but I do like to take out pictures of her and imagine how proud she would have been of me.  :-)
 
Karen,  We make quite a group here as everyone is always ready to help pick you up when your feeling down.  That is a warm and fuzzy feeling.  I am feeling better but sometimes mornings are still a tough time for me.  ((((Hugs))))
 
Navy,  thank you for your kind words.  I took them to heart.
 
Sue, Your prays surely helped as I am feeling better and the tears  let out some of the pain I was feeling.  My PCP used to tell me I was like a pressure cooker as I will let off a little steam and then keep on going until I have a major blow out.  I have tried not to do that anymore by not beating back my feelings. 
 
I thank you for the compliment on the post ~ it was a tough issue.  I will not add any artificial sweetner to those recipes being posted.  smhair
 
Many caring hug to each of you,
 
Kitt
 
 
 
 
 
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Tirzah
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 11/20/2010 11:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Kitt,
The holidays can be so difficult for so many. I know you've had a rough go of things the last couple of years, so try to cut yourself a bit of a break. Take time to rest & maybe schedule an extra counseling session or two.
I feel really discouraged too when I feel like I was making such good progress and then hit a huge set-back but I've been finding that when I accept that it's okay to be sad for no reason sometimes. I take a day or two to have as my bad days. I let myself cry & lie in bed & eat ice cream. I just set a deadline to it & if after a time of letting myself feel sad I find I can't continue on with life, I call my counselor.
You are such a strong person & even the strongest people need some time to grieve or feel sad or be lonely. One thing I know that helps me is to go to a special place & I pick up a small flat rock and take some time to remember each loved one -- all the good things we did together, their best traits, their dreams for me -- and then I either put the rock into the ground as a memorial or I toss it into the water. I know that our time together & their wishes are carried forever in my heart and by taking time out to remember those things, it renews the joy I felt when they were with me.

peace, hugz & prayers,
frances

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 11/21/2010 12:24 AM (GMT -6)   
MY LOVE AND COMPASSION 2 YOU KITT. JAMIE. HERE 4 YOU. JAMIE.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 11/21/2010 6:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Lil Kitt,

I agree, I too struggle with seeing loss as a whole, and not just people, but then once caught up in it, loss of childhood, loss of 'normal' life, and the list goes on and on, about what could have been.

This is the very reason, if I am thinking about Dad, I try to just think of him, or it does get way too big, and takes awhile to come right again.

I think the wreath is a great idea, I believe, there are special little compartments/boxes inside us, when we want to 'visit' the loved ones passed, we go to that special place inside of us, and we spend as much time there as we need. No-one knows it's there, which makes it really special.

Feeling these feelings are a positive healing step Kitt, even if it makes you feel crappy as, I see it as a natural process. I am really pleased you are able to cry, (I can't/won't), tears are a wonderful release, even if they wipe us out.

I hope today, you are feeling a whole lot better, stay strong, stay true to you, and thankyou for all you do for others, even when you are going through tough things yourself, xxxxxxx
 
Frances, that's a great idea with the rocks, every anniversary, I go to the river, but I bring the rock home, and have them in a lrge glass bowl on the bench.  I also light incense at the river, and at the end, watch the stick taken down stream by the current, that is such a powerful letting go thing for me. 

Post Edited (awty) : 11/21/2010 4:22:07 AM (GMT-7)


Lululiya
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 11/22/2010 10:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh, kitt :( I'm sorry I wasn't around earlier to respond! Pains me to see you so sad, you're so kind and caring. I wish I could do something to make you feel better. Prayers and hugs!!
“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out.”

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 11/22/2010 10:45 AM (GMT -6)   
I think we all have those days, at least i know i do, it feels good to let it out sometimes. Hope you have had better days since then, hugs and prayers over to ya@!!!!!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42498
   Posted 11/22/2010 4:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kitt,

I hope that you are feeling better today. Thanks for covering for me this weekend. I really appreciated that. We were very busy, so it went by fast. I like that. But then sometimes it feels like I am working my life away. Got to find some balance.

Take care my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/22/2010 6:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow, you are all so kind and awesome.  Maybe we could have a once a month worry day and just get it out of our system.
 
You each have advised me well and I do take to heart your responses and remember always that I am never alone.
 
I am better today and I did get out today even though it was raining and then turned to snow.  I had lunch with my dearest friend of 31 years.  We had a mistaken falling out where we both got hurt and I think I was feeling down thinking of how much time we let go by assuming the other one did not want to be friends anymore.  It has been 4 years since we saw each other and we used to be joined at the hip.  I truly received an early Christmas gift, one of love and friendship here and in person.
 
Kindly,
Kitt
 
 
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 11/22/2010 6:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh, a woanderful time and reconciliation. Thats great !

And now I have to ask, what recipes? I was just telling my husband that someone made a dumpcake with frozen blackberries, de ja vu. Imagined a romantic time in the sun and fresh air, plucking them one at a time, must have taken FOREVER ! But so tasty, envy that.

Anyway, recipes, where are the recipes?
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

"Do something everyday to make tomorrow better."

"One good change creates another."

"Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life."

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/22/2010 7:53 PM (GMT -6)   
How absolutely wonderful Kitt!
I am so happy you have found healing in that relationship.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42498
   Posted 11/23/2010 10:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I have a recipe for a blackberry cobbler that is so easy, but I think you could use any fruit. You put six cups of blackberries in a 9 by 13 baking dish, put a yellow cake mix over top of that. Then one stick of margarine cut up on top. Bake it at 350 for about 35 min or so. You will be able to tell when it is done. That is all that there is to it. So good and so easy.

Kitt, I am happy that you are feeling better today. Aren't the members just so wonderful here? They are all so kind and compassionate. I am proud of this forum. And so happy that you are here.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 11/23/2010 10:36 AM (GMT -6)   
that is so good to hear! i love hearing nice things like that, friends truly make this life worth living.

Old Hippy
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 11/23/2010 1:04 PM (GMT -6)   
hello all... Loved reading all the caring posts, I see nothing has changed since I last posted. Kit, I am so happy for you, that you were able to revive your relationship w/ your friend.. I just wanted to say, that I honor my loved one's memories, by doing something for someone else on their B-days, and anniversaries of transcendence. It helps ease the loss, and the spirit of giving--in a meaningful way--always eases my depression. You give all the time here HW land, and surely, the kindness & support that you send out to others, will come back to you in blessings & inner peace. Have a lovely thanksgiving. There is much to be grateful for, if one looks beyond the superficiality & marketing. Take Care, L

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/23/2010 11:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone !  (((((((Hugs)))))))).
 
Old Hippy,  It is good to see you my friend and thank you for the kind words along with everyone elses. I hope all is well with you and that you have a new friend in your life  cool .
 
I am very happy to have my best friend (Nancy) back in my life and to know we can both let go of the hurt and move on.  Forgiveness is more than a decision. It only happens when your heart and head agree that it is time to let go and for both of us it was the right time. 
 
It's Genetic,  Do pop in and read in the Anxiety Forum as many of the topics there cross over into depression ~ you will find another group of awesome members who are wise and wonderful like the members in this great forum.
 
Karen visits us when she has time and has always been a big support to the members in A & P.
 
Almost turkey day folks.  Remember to give thanks in whatever tradition you are used to or set new traditions.
 
Love and hugs,
 
Kitt
 
 
 
 
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

engraved
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 11/24/2010 10:58 AM (GMT -6)   
(((Hugs))) you're not alone. i'll pray for you

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/24/2010 6:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks engraved,  that is nice of you.  ((((((((Hugs)))))))
 
 
 
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42498
   Posted 11/24/2010 10:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Happy Thanksgiving to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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