Don't feel so glum. Things can get better. Have you thought about
looking for another job? Probably a dumb question, but I would be looking while I am still working if the working conditions where you are now aren't good.
Try to over look your mothers shortcomings. She was probably coping the only way that she knew how and that was to black out the whole thing. Many of us had a bad upbringing. You are no exception. But the past is in the past. And as long as you are diong the best you can with her, you are trying. That is important. Try to forgive her, it will make you feel better about
yourself. You can hang on to the past, but that only holds you back from the good things that could happen in the future.
You are a good person. Remember that. Your past could have effected you much worse than it did. Don't give up on counseling. But maybe find one to help you move forward instead of making you relive your past. There is a book called "feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. It is a really good book to read, especailly if you don't want counseling. It teaches us a different way of thinking. And has many examples to follow. I think you would enjoy the book.
Keep posting and let us know how you are.
Take care, have a great day.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies