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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 11/24/2010 9:46 AM (GMT -6)   
sorry, i need to rant.  my DH proposed to me on the beach even though we're already married, he told me he still wanted to give me that experience, that he loved me and that i "deserved" it.  Now, we never were really "engaged", and he never proposed, we just went to the courthouse and got married.  anyway,  fast foward a few days, and i find out the ring is a total FAKE and that he paid $100 for the engagment and wedding ring that came with it!  i'm so mad.  I couldn't care less that the ring is fake what i care about is that he tried to pass it off as the real thing!  i'm so angry that he lied to me!  If he would have been upfront with me from the beginning, i would have understood, and would have loved it but no he had to go into this whole sphiel and totally play it out like it was the real thing!  he says that he has a "real ring" and that it's being sized right now and he wanted to give me as a suprise for Christmas...i told him that's not what i care about, and i really doubt that he has one.  he doesn't even know my ring size!  I don't know wheter to believe him or not.  this is not the first time he hasn't been totally honest with me, either, not the first time we've struggled through this.  god...even if he had a real one on the way, how was he going to explain that this one was fake and was just passing it off for the time being?  i have no ideal.  i am perfectly fine with a fake engagment/wedding ring IF i know it's fake to begin with!  i feel so hurt right now.  am i right to feel this way?  or am i wrong? 

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/24/2010 10:04 AM (GMT -6)   
I understand that you are hurt. I imagine that he was too embarrassed to tell you the truth in the beginning, and I imagine that he is struggling with guilt now because he wasn't honest with you. So I am trying to look at his side of it. I hope that he isn't lieing to you now. Is there a chance that he found a ring in your jewelry box and sized the ring with that?

Does he lie to you often? Some people are just lilke that. But that would be hard for me to handle, as you would never know if he was telling the truth or not. It is hard to trust somebody who has lied to you. So I think your feelings are validated by that. Try not to be hard on yourself for feeling hurt. It is only natural to feel that way.

How did he know what your size was for the first ring? Is there a chance that he just remembered it? I hope that he is getting you a new ring. And I hope that it is a beautiful one and that you love it. Don't feel bad for being upset. Wait and see what happens with this next ring. I do think it was romantic for him to propose to you again. And he is probably feeling really embarrassed about the first ring incident. So try to give him a break and wait and see if he is being honest this time. If not, it may be time to rethink your relationship. Or have a discussion about him telling the truth to you. Maybe even some counseling would help.

But I am like you. When somebody lies to me, I don't trust anymore. I hope that things get better. Keep posting and let us know.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 11/24/2010 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
first off he shouldnt have lied to you but it is possible he found out your ring size to surprise you. i say give him the benefit of the doubt but explain to him that he doesnt have to lie to you. Me if i get fake jewelry i break out everywhere around it. i cant wear fake jewelry at all. i used to lie about small things and it is a bad habit but it can be overcome. sit him down and explain to him how you feel without getting angry.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 11/24/2010 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
i just don't get it, this ring he gave me, he told me that he wanted me to have it because he loved me and thought i deserved it, and he saw how other women had diamonds and wanted to give me the same thing, since he never gave me an engagment ring. He even encouraged me to show the fake one off to other people! That's why i doubt the "other" ring is coming like he says. what if someone could tell and i would have to hear it from them?
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