Need relationship advice

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 11/27/2010 1:55 AM (GMT -6)   
I know this is not the place for relationship advice but my relationship status or lack thereof is making me depressed. I guess I should explain my relationship history a bit more. I never really cared about having a boyfriend until after college and by then, it was too late. I was severely depressed for many years from around 11 to 20, around the age where most girls have their first boyfriends. So during that period, I didn't care about having a relationship much less having friends, although I did have a few crushes. I'm 26 now and at the point where I feel like I will never get married. All the guys I seem to like are either already in a relationship or don't want anything to do with me. One guy even had the nerve to say he longer wanted to be friends with me since I gave him just the slightest hint that I liked him. I have a small group of friends but honestly they are more like family friends and I could never see myself starting a relationship with any of the guys. I just want to have someone to hang out with, to talk with, to share my life with and vice versa. I have a family but it seems all they care about is facebook, video games, and movies. I want to get out and explore the world or at least my town but I don't want to keep doing it alone, because it's just not as fun. One of my greatest fears is that I will die being lonely and alone.

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 11/27/2010 6:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Have you thought about volunteering in your community. Helping others is a great investment in helping yourself. It opens up avenues of public options for you that you might never think it would and at the same time you are doing something positive. Bring one of your friends along if you are shy about going alone. Join clubs that interest you related to a hobby. Get a part time job that is fun. Go back to school and develop another career option. Another words put yourself out there in the things you love. I confident that you will find someone that will share your life but you have to be willing to participate in it. That may mean stepping out of you comfort zone about going to these things on your own. Firmly invest in yourself, you would be surprising how attractive that is.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42206
   Posted 11/27/2010 8:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Spin is right,

You do have to put yourself out there to meet people. And volunteering is such a good feeling. Doing things on your own means that you are a leader and not a follower and that is attractive.

I hope that you meet somebody that is good to you and loves you very much. He is out there, you will meet him when the time is right. You are very young yet, you aren't too old to start a family. You are at the perfect age because you will be mature enough to have your child's best interest at heart. They say 28 is the perfect time to have a child.

Best wishes to you. Keep posting, it was great to have you back on the forum.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20113
   Posted 11/27/2010 4:20 PM (GMT -6)   
ditto to karen's post vdogg. with compassion, jamie.


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/27/2010 5:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi vdogg,
Welcome to HealingWell.  If you really want to know how to meet someone new, you need to engulf yourself in some new and interesting project. Whether you want to volunteer at a homeless shelter, take up needlepoint, or simply join a book club, now is the time to do it.
Deep down everyone has an interest they are passionate about.  When  you take the leap and start doing  something that you will find fufillment in, you outwardly change.
The fastest way to meet someone new is to be yourself.

Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"If you can't change the world, change your world"
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