Hi Nikita Marie,
It sounds like you are doing all the right things to get feeling better, and I think the rest just takes time. I think that the meetings will help you tremendously and coming here will help you too.
Learn to take each day as it comes and to feel okay about that. You are never too old to learn, so you might want to take some college courses along the way. We all learn differntly and even though you didn't go directly to college after highschool does not mean that you can't go now or in the future. Think about what you would like to do with your life and remember it is the experiences along the way that gives us character and personality. We learn as we go and continue to learn throughout life.
Don't be so hard on yourself. It feels as if you are blaming yourself for a lot of things and you don't need to do that. We all have our problems growing up and sometimes we have to work things our later, but that is okay too. My mother was also an alcoholic. She was in and out of different mental institutions all of my childhood. So I understand how you feel. It is hard growing up with an alcoholic parent, but it seems like they are trying to encourage you now. So try to cling to the thought that they do love you. Even though they didn't make your childhood easy. A lot of parents make mistakes. That doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way that they know how.
Keep posting here. Let us know how your Al Anon meetings go. It is nice to find others in the same boat as you. Often you can help eachother out. I am sure that you will get a lot of help here also. This is a good place to come for support.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies