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worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 11/29/2010 6:57 PM (GMT -6)   
so tomorrow is a busy day for me. i have a meeting at 830 then i rush from there to my therapist at 11 and thats where ill learn if i am diagnosed with ADD, but im sure i will be. to tell you t he truth i am scared that they will not see that i am suffering. i know that i am for i feel so unfocused and i know that is my problem. i hope that he does and does something to get me on the path to focusing or getting past all this stress. i have no one to confide in, as my hubby is the wait and see if you are diagnosed before we talk about the feelings and what we will do if i am. i know once t hey say i am then i will have the support from him that i need. then i will have to decide if i want to tell my job. telling my job can have one of two consequences, one they are like ok we will support you and give you time to adjust or two t hey will treat me different and more like crap then they do now. if i tell them then they will see why i am the way i was and if i dont then they may just not give me a chance and keep treating me like crap. im at a loss what to do. oh well tomorrow i will figure it out.

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 11/29/2010 7:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi WG-
Hope things go well for you tomorrow. I know my old boss had ADD. Honestly, his manager was not at all understanding of his disability; in spite of that, getting a diagnosis (which he got after his son was diagnosed & he learned it often runs in families) meant that he was able to access many resources that ultimately helped him transfer to another position in the company & find much success in that position (which paid roughly the same, but was a slower, more steady work flow and less detail-oriented).

If you're interested, some of the resources that were helpful to him were:
askjan.org/media/lear.htm (awesome resource, you can also phone them)
www.livingwithadd.com/
tbiresources.com/tools/organizeday.shtml (for TBI, but applies for ADD also)

He also found an ADD coach. The psych who tested you should be able to help you find one in your area, but here's an example of what they do: www.addcoaching.com/.

Finally, he set up processes -- with the help of his coach -- to create reminder, checks & redundancies that together improved the quality of his work. When he first was working on that, he set up lots of reminders on his PDA & Outlook. He used those to help him stay on task.

After implementing all of those resources, the only issue he needed help with was communicating with clients. As his secretary, I prepared a list of talking points so that he & his clients could work together to ensure he stayed on topic & talked about the points in order. He did find that he really could not do a job that required over 99.99999% accuracy. It was just too much. But now he has a similar job where 95+% accuracy is acceptable and he has found much success.

I would say that if you are diagnosed with ADD, then ask your therapist to help you sort out whether or not to tell your boss. It is not a choice that has to be made tomorrow, is it? Has your boss given you a formal warning that you must get it together by a certain date? If not, I'd hold off on telling your boss until you find a coach & start to put together your list of resources. The ADA does not excuse disabilities. If you cannot do your work even WITH reasonable accommodations, then your company can terminate your employment. On the other hand, if you go in with a diagnosis & a definitive game plan, you are much more likely to get the help you need.
But I know from my former boss, coming up with that list was not easy for him. He would come up with a few ideas, lose his list, try again to come up with a few ideas, get distracted & start on some other project, start talking with one of his children, and forget all about the list until the next day when he was struggling at work. Then, he would work on his list, rather than doing his work & got in trouble for that. By contacting JAN and finding an ADD coach, he was able to start to set some goals & wrote them down in his Blackberry. He set aside a block of time each day to work on his list and after a couple months, he raised the issue with his boss. It was stressful talking to his boss, but by having his list & a support system in place, it went much smoother.

Hope that helps! Good luck tomorrow.
frances

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/29/2010 8:21 PM (GMT -6)   
WG,

Try to remain calm and take this as it comes. Frances gave you some wonderful advice and also some good resources. I hope that this is some help to you. Try not to project what might happen, especially if it is bad. Try to stay positive. I am sure that your doctor is going to help you with this. Try to be open with him/her and let them know your concerns about work.

Will be thinking of you. Know that we all support you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 11/30/2010 12:32 AM (GMT -6)   
i havent a deadline yet but i know the way things are going frances there willl be. i have a manager that is set out to get me and if he has it his way i will be. i know if i can get this under control i can get him off my back. i will talk with my therapist, but my fear is if i am then he will want me to then my work will treat me like crap. i know hubby will support me, tyoungmil will support me and you guys and shuvy too. i feel no one here understands me and what i go through. i blurted out something i didnt mean today that was meant in another terms and it came out totally wrong. luckily my hubby understands that i dont always say what i mean. also i havent slept good in over a week. i cant fall asleep until after 2 and i am up by 730 or noon. i dont know if that is a part of ADD. my mind wont shut off.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/30/2010 9:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I hope that your appointment went well WG. Keep us posted. I have obsessive thinking like that and started on a med called abilify. It really helps with the constant thinking. You need to learn to focus on what task is at hand and think of nothing else. There is help for you, please believe that. This is not the end of the world as you know it. It will get better for you. Let us know how it went.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 11/30/2010 12:29 PM (GMT -6)   
well therapist went well. he is extremely confident that i have ADD and i am seeing their therapist on Jan. 19 but he gave me a place i can go and they will prescribe the meds for me. i am so relieved to know that i have a diagnosis. best part is he said i dont have to inform my job unless something happens, like them putting me on a plan. i dont know i will keep in mind.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/30/2010 1:29 PM (GMT -6)   
you have done well WG. keep soldering on. glad you have a clear dx. keep being strong. here for you. with compassion, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/30/2010 5:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi WG,

I am so happy that you had a good appointment today. I am sure that you are relieved to know what you have to deal with now. I am sure that the medications will help you, so I don't see any reason that you should tell your work unless you really want to. Hopefully they will never have to know that you are suffering from AADD. I am really happy for you. Like I said before, I am so glad that you had a good appointment.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 11/30/2010 6:07 PM (GMT -6)   
i certainly will keep you posted. im relieved, still kinda scared but yet im excited to get my life under control. i made the mistake trying to apologize to the friend that stopped being my friend because i asked her not to text. i explained my situation and she went to say her daughter is ADD and is not like that and it is a personality trait. well really, i have heard her daughter be quite hateful to her. i even told her that i am n ot being treated for it and all and she said neither was her daughter and to leave her alone. well that hurt my feelings even more so i dont know why i even bothered/
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 12/2/2010 5:33 PM (GMT -6)   
I totally understand about the texting. People just don't have time for that sometimes. It can be annoying. I am sure that your friend will come around sooner or later. Once she sits down and thinks about things.

Best wishes to you WG.

How was your day?

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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