under the knife

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worriedgirl
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Date Joined Apr 2009
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   Posted 12/1/2010 11:18 AM (GMT -6)   
i had a ENT appointment and i have a deviated septum, some residual adenoid tissue and swollen tundrum(its what swells when u  have adenoids or a sinus cold) so i have to go in for surgery on Dec. 22 and get it all fixed which is why i am posting. my managers are going to be very angry with me especially my general manager as i believe she is supposed to be on vacation that week. it was the only time i can have it done until the end of january and i have a shift manager that will be out six weeks due to having a baby. so i set the surgery up to meet buisness needs but they are not going to see it that way. i will be out of work for a week and i have to tell them today which will make for a very very bad day today. i need some support from my friends and maybe advice on how to stay strong.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 12/1/2010 2:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi WG,

I agree with Siobhan, show them the surgery papers and a doctor's slip. Tell them that this was the only time you could get. The manager can change her vacation. It will work out I am sure. You aren't expected to know everything and cover their butts every time. Do what you need to do for you. Be selfish if you have to. They will have to understand. And if they don't, maybe you can work it out with the surgeon and push it back a week. Don't worry. It will work out. I am sure of that.

I am sorry that you have a deviated septum. I have one too but it doens't effect anything. I just have a crooked nose. lol... I think it came from something happening when I was a kid. Who knows, at least I don't have problems with it I guess. But you get that taken care of. It is a necessary procedure and you need to have it done. Think of you. Know that we are all here supporting you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

worriedgirl
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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 12/1/2010 3:03 PM (GMT -6)   
they cant push it back a week as this was the only time until the end of january. i got lucky to get this. i have all kinds of issues from not being able to breathe through my nose to not being able to blow it, stuff from my nose runs down my throat causing me to gag and i honestly believe that is why i get the hiccups so bad. i am bout to head to work and thats when i have to tell them. i have 22 days til surgery and then i will be able to breathe. not to mention my husband wont have to sleep with earplugs in because of my loud snoring. he is tired of the earplugs.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 12/1/2010 4:23 PM (GMT -6)   
all the best with it. with healing compassion, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 12/2/2010 1:49 AM (GMT -6)   
well i told my manager about it and she is so angry with me. she made sure i knew it too, called dm and told her she was pissed, called her hubby and told him she was pissed and that they have to change their plans. i know she made plans but its not my fault. i feel so bad. i tried to tell her i had no choice but she wasnt hearing it. she even told me i need to think about other managers and put myself in their shoes. im sorry its not my fault. i hate that place. she did tell my other shift she felt bad about getting so angry over it and she shouldnt have but she didnt apologize and even was gonna leave without saying goodbye to me, but said goodbye to everyone else
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 12/2/2010 3:12 AM (GMT -6)   
she's a darn cow!!!!!!!!!!! sorry about the hell you have gone thru WG. sending healing compassion your way. jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 12/2/2010 6:46 AM (GMT -6)   
WG,

So she was upset, she will get over it. She can take a vacation anyother time. Don't worry about it. You are doing what is right for you and what you have to do. She will get over it like I said. Sorry about her luck. Just go in and work your job. If she makes life hard for you, go over her head. You may have to. You are doing the best you can and that is all you can do. You are doing what is right for yourself. Keep it up. This will get you places. I am not saying be selfish, but take care of you and do what you have to. She can plan another vacation.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 12/2/2010 9:00 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks karen, its just that right now i am feeling like crap. i have it coming at both ends. hubby is mad cause of the front room, darn ADD cant focus lol and then my job. i just seem to be making people mad at me and it is a bad feeling. im sure my close was good at work but my co opens and he is the pickiest out of all the managers and he will find something wrong which im sure i will hear about. i know i left one thing on the desk and im sure thats what ill get yelled at for and he knows im now gonna be out for that week, gm left a note in the book to check schedules because ill be out and he will now start treating me as bad as before. its a neverending cycle but as hubby said it is a guarenteed job so i have to deal with it until i can get them to give me a transfer. i know im taking steps to better me but i feel as if i take one step forward and two steps back. i feel like im falling apart. i hate this feeling and no one understands what i am going through.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 12/2/2010 9:59 AM (GMT -6)   
I know how you feel. Going to a job where you feel uncomfortable every day. Have you thought about looking for work elsewhere? It wouldn't hurt to look for something better. In the meantime you still have the job you have, but you aren't being treated fairly. Have you thought about going to the labor board? What is it exactly that you do and where you work? You may have to step on some toes, but you are definately being treated like crap.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 12/2/2010 1:54 PM (GMT -6)   
WG-
I too understand how you feel. I agree with the others that esp. seeing as how the one manager told your co-workers that she got angrier than she should have that it will likely blow over pretty quickly. Some people are just too embarrassed to apologize. She ought to say she's sorry to you, but probably won't. I'd take what I can get. It was a nice gesture that she explained to the others that she should have taken the news with more grace.
I agree with Karen that it's time to start putting your resumes out there. If you can get an internal transfer, that's great but don't depend on that happening. Set your sights on a job that will be a better match for you & work to achieve that. Then, try your best to ignore all the petty comments at your current job. I know, I know, I get the same way too. I hate people talking about me. I hate being resented/underappreciated/etc. It's rough. But I'm learning to take it in stride. I try to make a point to practice letting something go at least once a week. I'm volunteering in a school right now & someone who's in a position to hire me made some trite little comment that basically seems to indicate that they'd love to have me for free but aren't willing to pay a dime to give me some sub jobs. I wanted to complain about it to my friend who teaches there, but decided instead to just say how nice it was that he stopped by the room & seemed to appreciate me volunteering. My friend (we're not close, but we do go out for coffee or lunch at times) was impressed & added a comment about emotional maturity & receptiveness to feedback to my recommendation letter.
I share that with you b/c sometimes restraint can be a valuable quality in an employee & if they do let you go but someone can say that you were a hard worker and that on top of that you were very good at dealing with stressful situations & working with unhappy co-workers/customers/whatever, that can end up being the silver lining amidst all this craziness -- and your managers/co-workers DO sound crazy.

Hang in there! You just need to focus on getting your surgery & working with the counselor on managing the ADD right now. After that, your job and/or job hunting will get easier. One thing at a time, right?

hugz,
frances

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 12/3/2010 1:46 AM (GMT -6)   
so i go into work where i get yelled at for two things not put away(oh wow big deal), and yelled at for yelling at people(which btw i didnt do, i snapped once and i apologized for it) and then my comanager stays "it better be a great close or your coming back in in the morning" and then makes a comment about my surgery. my gm was there so he wasnt too bad but i mid with him tomorrow and i know for a fact its gonna be a bad night. like i want to be in pain over christmas. i so hate my job and after my surgery i am gonna try again for a transfer. so im sorry she does not feel one bit guilty over getting angry i am sure that she and my co talked at great lengths about it.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 12/3/2010 2:53 AM (GMT -6)   
you deserve much, much better. with healing compassion, jamie. hold your head high.

-jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 12/3/2010 8:21 AM (GMT -6)   
I hope that you get a transfer. You don't deserve to be treated this way. I am glad that not all jobs are like this. You do deserve better. Keep up the good work. You are very patient when it comes to this. I don't know how you continue to do this. Good luck my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 12/4/2010 2:35 AM (GMT -6)   
well i cant wait, i am asking for that transfer tomorrow. my co has officially pissed me off beyond words. he accused me of lying. he said why do you need it now and i tell him cause i cant breathe, the inside of my nose is collapsing and he said no its not, *** does he know. he says im inconviencing the whole manager team. well im sorry its not like i want to be in pain on christmas. he says that i should have waited and his nose is worse then mine, again *** does he know. then he states that he is gonna make sure he requests my daughters birthday off so that i have to work, omg is that retaliation. i am beyond livid. i told him it is none of his buisness what i do to make myself better and i have to do what is right for me.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 12/4/2010 10:55 AM (GMT -6)   
i cant do it shuvy, its hard going in there and being ignored unless im doing something wrong in their eyes. i dont feel like i am a part of team and i dont feel like i am wanted there especially now. who knew doing what is right for you can cause so much grief. i know im doing the right thing by the surgery, i have a sinus cold now darn nose, but this is rediculous
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/4/2010 11:13 AM (GMT -6)   
WG,
 
Your managers etc are acting very inappropriate and bordering on harrassment.  Remember they own thier problems and if they keep on yelling at you and putting you down because you need surgery send off a letter to the home company.
 
There are plenty of other fast food chains and they are always looking for good employees.  Nobody should have to work in a hostile enviornment so keep notes of their behavior including names, dates, times and what was said.
 
Your manager is not your Doctor and what a stupid thing to say, telling you that you have nothing wrong - surgeons don't operate on "nothing wrong".  Go for the transfer.
 
Good luck sweetie.
 
Kitt
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Post Edited (stkitt) : 12/7/2010 7:20:35 AM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 12/4/2010 11:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I totally agree with Kitt,

This is harrassment. You deserve to be treated as the good employee that you are. Keep notes, times and dates. These are legal documents. You would be surprised how much this can help you.

Transfer as soon as you can, or look for another job.

Best wishes to you my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 12/4/2010 12:15 PM (GMT -6)   
i got some notes from yesterday, i am so done. i am tired of feeling like crap at work. i am tired of him running his mouth. being accused of lying is one thing but the remark about making sure i work my daughters birthday. i mean he was like no your nose is not collapsing. how does he know, was he up there with a scope looking? i dont think so. i need proof that its medically necessary to do, i dont think so all i need is proof that i am having it. last time i checked i didnt need his permission to have surgery.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 12/5/2010 1:43 AM (GMT -6)   
well now i have to go meet with my dm on Monday cause now they are saying she has to approve of it and she is saying she is not approving of the time off. well she cant tell me i cant have surgery. so wish me luck
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/5/2010 8:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Wishing you luck and stay strong.  You will make it through this difficult time.
 
Kindly,
Kitt
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Chartreux
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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 12/5/2010 9:55 PM (GMT -6)   
I wish I knew how to help you out, I'll be wishing you well on this.
Keep us posted on how things go.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Worriedgirl)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Healing Hugz, well wishes and Prayers
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Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 12/6/2010 1:16 PM (GMT -6)   
WG-
If you have been with the company for at least 12 months, working on average 20+ hours/week, all you need is a doctor's note saying that (1) you are under a doctor's care & that (2) you are unable to work on specific dates. Ask your doctor for a note stating those two things & add it to your own letter requesting FMLA time. The company can investigate, but ultimately they cannot fire you for requesting FMLA time & as long as you're truthful (I'm sure you are) they can't deny you the time off. It is unpaid, but your job is guaranteed when you come back to work.

If you have not been with them for that long, or work fewer hours, I agree with Kitt, find a new job. Plenty of places are hiring for entry level work right now. No job is worth all that craziness. Nobody goes through surgery just to inconvenience others. If you're not sleeping well or are not getting enough oxygen, that needs to be addressed. If you get health insurance with your current job, you can always purchase COBRA coverage for as long as you want, up to 18 months -- even if you are flat out fired; with COBRA you can get your surgery as scheduled & then look for a new job. I bet once you have the surgery & are feeling a bit better there will be all kinds of companies who would love to hire you.

feel better,
frances

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 12/9/2010 11:53 AM (GMT -6)   
well i have two weeks to go, my head hurts cant take anything for it but its not constant. its more pressure around my eyes, and i know thats the sinuses acting up. work was actually pretty smooth for the last couple of days. even my comanager was acting nice to me. i am shocked by this as i figured he would be mean to me every day til the surgery. i know it wont last but i will enjoy it. i do plan on ignoring him if he does try. i told my gm and told her i didnt want anyone else to know that i was being diagnosed with ADD and she was like "everyone has some form of it" and i told her they were going to be putting me on meds and therapy. she asked me if that was the only option and i told her that i have tried for years to do things on my own and its not working and i need help and that hopefully with the meds she will see an improvement on my work. she didnt treat me different or anything! i know i complain about work and some about her but i do  have a lot of respect for her and i know she pushes us so t hat we can be better and feel good about ourselves. she does take care of us i do have to admit. t he only reason i hate it there is my comanager. she did say that she will have an answer on my transfer soon too. so i think after the first of the year there will be a transfer in my future and hopefully close to home. my hubby went into the one close to my  home and they were like "your wife works for """ doesnt she" and hubby was like yes but im hoping to have her close to  home soon. and they were like "well she should come work here as we sure could use her".  i see some things looking up. i am nervous about my surgery and cant get it off my mind. im not sleeing very well. i took two tylenol pms monday night and was asleep by 1030 but the next day i was so groggy all day long.  i have closed the last two nights and had to get up at 730 after getting home at 3 then went to a meeting and came home and napped then went to work again. im literally exhausted. i cant wait to hope to have this gone.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 12/9/2010 12:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Sounds like things are getting better WG. I am so happy to hear this. The time will go by fast as you are very busy. Your surgery will be over before you know it. And you will be breathing better and not having the headaches anymore. We all look forward to that day for you. Keep up the good work. Keep on keeping on.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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