I'm tired of this all

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ninja penguin
New Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/1/2010 4:55 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm sick and tired of being depressed! Honestly it is hard enough pretending to be happy on the otside!
I just wish I didn't have to deal with this. I want to go back to the person I used to be but honestly I
can't. I am happy he can't hurt me anymore but now I feel more depressed and scared then before. I
don't know what to do anymore. My parents are impossible to talk to becuse all they do is tell me not to
worry about it and that there is nothing to worry about, but they don't understand that I can't just not be
un-scared or un-depressed that easily. My friends or atleast the ones I have told don't really know how
to help me either. on top of that my little sister yells at me all he time calls me stuff like: "you are such a
****ing *****" "no one likes you" " you probably made half that crap up to get attention!" "you are ruining
 my life" and then later that night she cries on my shoulder saying sorry and that her and her boyfriend are
fighting and she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't understand that she is hurting me almost as much
as the whole abuse/police/meeting all these strangers/court process. I am seeing a counselor but it isn't
helping . I'm just getting worse. It only toke a year to go from telling friends suicide and cutting wasn't the
answer and that things will get better to I am. I'm tired of pretending to
be happy when I'm actully not. I can't deal with all ths choas in my life. I just want everything to end but it's
like there isn't going to be one. I can't do ths anymore!

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/1/2010 3:12:29 PM (GMT-7)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 12/1/2010 5:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Ningapenguin,
Welcome to the depression forum.  You are among people who understand here.  It is hard going day in and day out pretending like you are happy when you are not.  Depression really stinks, doesn't it? 
Everybody here has gone through the same thing as you.  We have a way of trying to pick eachother up so that we don't all feel so alone.  I am sure that you are feeling alone too. 
There are a few things that you talked about that I don't understand.  Did your boyfriend use to abuse you?  Why were the cops there?  Do you want to talk about it?  If not, I understand.  But talking does help. 
Maybe you don't have the right counselor.  They aren't always a good fit and to be truthful, they aren't always good.  There are bad therapists.  Maybe you should try a different one.  Or let your therrapist know that you don't think it is helping and he/she can try a different approach. 
I hope that you feel better soon, and I hope that you continue to post.  Keep trying.  Keep smiling.  Even if you are sad inside.  It is nice to smile and act happy.  People really do respond to that.  And eventually it comes natural.  This will work out for you and you will feel better.
Hugs, Karen
PS I had to edit your post as we are not to discuss suicide or self harm. 
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 12/4/2010 8:42 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel your pain, I'm going through the exact same thing, I'm so tired of being depressed and sick do to all the meds I have been put on. I'm currrently coming off celexa due to the horrid side effects and starting Lamtical (I hope it works). I currently going to bad withdrawls. I just feel like there is no end to this cycle and just can't bear this anymore.
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