Hitting an all-time low and going

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atech
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/3/2010 1:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, i have been searching for a long time and i may have find it right here. I hope someone listens, or you can skim to the very bottom... I am 18 and turning 19 soon. I am also Asian. Been through a lot of schools, Moved around a lot, never really made any real friends. The people closest to friends eventually leave me. I was living in poverty. I was the one eveyrone makes fun of in school. All the way until 12th grade, i have been through 6 schools, across states 1900miless apart. I have been across the US and it seems like Fate and Destiny makes my life the way it is and it won't change.

I never knew what family was like either. I felt neglected and my parents don't do much for me. They abuse me too and blaming me for everything. My older brothers seem to get what they want and i get the hand-me-downs. We even don't celebrated any holiday. All i want to do was to cry, and that was what i did. Mostly in silence since a few times they see me crying they hit me. I had a rough childhood.

I know the past is the past but the present isn't better either. Right now i am living with my aunts, which is a start. But still poverty and the same feelings of neglect and loneliness. I did what i can to make my life better. but it always end up in failure. I made new friends and at times i can make a lot easily. But they end up turning into jerks or taking advantage of me or using me like a tool. So i just end up leaving them. then the ones who were left slowly leave me anyway. Sure i got i asked for help for the people i thought i could turn to. I went to the counselor and they wouldnt help me. I called hotlines and they don't help me either. I was shocked that the lady who picked up the phone was rude and literally told me 'just go sleep on the streets then'. And also i called 911(the police) and surprisingly too they didn't help me, the guy who picked up was only concerned about the minutes spent talking to him like i called his cell phone or something.

So in the end i tried. i did what was offered as advice. Right now i didnt make it into a good college. late registration since my aunt doesnt want to drive me to get a pre-entry test. It's hard to explain everything i have been through but fate has but me in Check and now theres nothing to do to escape. In time it'll get worse and worse until it is Checkmate and game ends. Oh and by the way i have absolutely no one else to talk to.

Im not giving up until the very end and it looks 2 steps away.

OH and also i am going to be homeless soon so that is how Low it can get.

---To sum it up: Abused,Neglected and Bullied throughout childhood all the way to 12th grade. Poverty since i can remember. Loneliness. Devalued. Un-loved. And soon to be homeless. So what can i do? How can anyone get through this? I don't have a real family or friends to give me support. Hotlines and 911/Police couldnt help me.. If you read this far i thank you. And i appreciate any comments or anything. Even someone to talk to is nice.

Thank you.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 12/3/2010 4:16 AM (GMT -6)   
hi atech, jamie here, male 38. in australia.
 
hey your bright, don't let it go to waste. sorry don't know
the american system but would you qualify for some
government assistance. i have been where your at,
homeless 2 and a half yrs, the black-sheep, so i fully
get you. i would go to your government centre and ask for
assistance. i made it through and so will you, a dear
person i know told me this,
 
'LIFE IS PRECIOUS, LIVE IT WELL'.
 
hang in there mate. sorry for the past, look to the future.
some counselling i feel would benefit you. talk with the
government people about your needs. write them down,
make an appointment and seek some assistance. i pray
that you do not become homeless, it is tough and
rough. sending healing compassionate vibes your way.
 
you have been brave in posting, keep being brave. more people from the states will chime in soon. it is almost the w/e, thus it might take a little time. take care of you.
 
jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 12/3/2010 9:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Atech,

Have you got ahold of the department of human services? They will help you. You could get a grant to go to college too since you have no money. There are options out there. I hope that you know how to use them. But check with human services first. They will help you find a place to stay. You are young, have many oppertunities in the future. Take it one day at a time. Things will come around as long as you are trying. And it sounds like you are. You want education. That is important.

I am sorry for your home life. A lot of us went through childhood abuse. But we all come together here and support eachother. that is what is good about this site. We all care about eachother and we care about you too.

Keep trying my friend. Never give up.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

atech
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/3/2010 10:09 PM (GMT -6)   
My future isnt looking good or will get better anytime soon... But I'll do what i can... There's hardlyt any food around and i am starving and i'm just going to give up. i don't have my own room. It's the living room, No bed just a blanket rolled down on the carpet., I have no privacy and no one respects my personal space. My aunts have kids and they eat more than I do. Just today they bought their kid lunch. Then the other aunt comes home and bought them another lunch. At dinner they come home and bought food enough for themselves. And today i ate nothing but 2 waffles. And its been months and its like this with nothing for me to eat. I rather die than to keep going and i am losing my mind how it's getting worse and worse. They arent poor at all also. They gamble their money away and buy useless stuff and leave them around the house without using them. yet theyt complain they don't have money to spend. So soon i'll probably just die and give them what they want, and make them pay.

But Thanks tho

Post Edited (atech) : 12/3/2010 9:22:08 PM (GMT-7)

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