School and Boys

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 12/10/2010 2:47 PM (GMT -6)   
I went to the college campus today for a meeting with the professors from the Master's program I left last semester, and they said I could come back next semester. I'm not finding jobs, and my plan to move somewhere else never went anywhere, so I think I want to do it. This is not to say that I'm not interested in the program otherwise, because I totally am. I thought about it and I finally admitted to myself that I quit because it was hard. Which is stupid. I should be challenging myself and life is going to be scary and difficult and I have to just grow up and deal with it. So I'm going back. And I'm excited! I figured I couldn't move across the country with no job and nowhere to live. I would be just as depressed and my problems would follow me there. They'd probably get bigger too. Anyway, moving so far away with nothing there would be dumb, right? This is where the "help, I need advice" part kicks in: the guy I've been crushing on who lives in aforementioned far-away city is the first guy I've really had a crush on in a long time - let's call him "Joe" - and definitely since my boyfriend (the only one I've ever had - a two year relationship). What is wrong with me?! I called "Joe" just now to tell him about school, and he got all sad that I'm not moving to far-away city. He was like "I have to change my expectations now" or something, and seemed really sad. I couldn't convince myself that moving to far-away city wasn't a more attractive (no pun intended) option because he was there, which really scared me. I feel like I would always want to move somewhere back here (read: East coast). What is wrong with me?! I need someone to just slap me, please...

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42435
   Posted 12/10/2010 3:12 PM (GMT -6)   
I can't seem to understand your post. Is he in the city that you are moving to? I am having an occular migraine, so reading is hard. I may have missed something. Please explain.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 12/10/2010 3:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry. I'm feeling really confused, too! I have a crush who lives 2,800 miles away. For the past few months, I haven't been in school and I've been looking for jobs in the city that he lives in, because it's where my mom's family lives. We've talked a lot on the phone, and he was under the impression that I would be moving to the city he lives in in January. I decided instead to enroll in a year-long Master's program in the city I grew up in. I'm just sad because I have a huge crush on him. I just figured I couldn't move to a city just because he lived there, without a job or a place to stay. That would be weird. How do I get over a crush?! He hasn't returned my e-mails/phone calls since I told him I wouldn't be moving to his city, and it's making me really depressed. I want to move there and be with him, but it would be stupid at this point in my life, right? Aaagh!

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 12/10/2010 3:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Moon,
It'll be okay. Stick with your plans to return to school. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. If it is meant to be, he'll still be in love with you when you graduate. You did try to find work out there & it didn't happen. This is only one year. If he can't be tough enough to last one more year apart, what does that say for your relationship over the long run? Either (1), he'll be down for a little bit and then find a way to make things work for the next 12 months or (2) he'll give up -- and anyone who gives up on their gf that easily is not really serious anyways. It would have ended in another 3 months or 6 months or whenever your relationship hit some other little road bump.

It is very sad though when we spend so much time & invest so much of ourselves with someone. I've found that the only way to get through it is to remember all the good times, be realistic about the flaws in the relationship & know that I am a better person for having known him. You'll probably think about him a lot for quite some time, but that's not some kind of mystical sign that you made the wrong choice. You decided on the responsible route & on top of that, it's something you love. The right guy will understand that relationships do sometimes mean compromise & sacrifice. Hang in there and try to trust in yourself a bit more. You made a good choice -- hopefully he'll follow suit.

take care,
frances

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42435
   Posted 12/10/2010 3:39 PM (GMT -6)   
You are thinking in a practical mode, which is good. If it is meant to be, it will happen. Maybe it is just taking time for him to adjust to the fact that you wont be moving to the city that he lives in, but these things can work out for the best. You are thinking good. You are making a good carreer move and that is what is most important right now. You got your whole life ahead of you. You will be sad for a while, but once you make the move and start in on your life, things will fall into place for you. Good thinking. Smart move on your part.

Have a wonderful day.

My occular migraine passed. It can be frustrating. I see patterns in my eyes of flashing colored lights. I can still see, but they are in my way. Luckily, I don't get the headache often.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, June 21, 2018 4:46 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,974,054 posts in 326,246 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161226 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, echevarriacarisa.
286 Guest(s), 3 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
SantaZia, isitlyme, neo_4789