I am a new memeber. I have been looking for so long for someone to talk to. I have a very best friend that I talk to, but sometimes it's hard for other people to understand.
I suffer from depression, I have for years. I also have panic and anxiety disorder. This I have had for the last year.
I would like to say that my depession has gotten worse since I got married for the second time. I have been married for 7 seven years. I have given up everything I love. My husband has used me to the point that I should have left along time ago. Before we married I was totally debt free. Not anymore. My husband has put me so far in debt, he has lied to me, he has taken my money. We lost our house and I sold things that were the most important to me to help us out.
Thru this my depression has gotten worse and to the point that I have thought about so many times. I have been thru counseling. But I can't seem to find anyone who actually wants to listen to me. I feel lost, alone and totally blank. I feel like I don't even know what is in my own mind anymore. I don't work now because the anxiety and panic is so bad. When I try to talk to my husband it is like he listens, but doesn't hear. The nights that I feel I wake him up but he just says "wake me before you do anything".
I don't know what to do anymore or where to turn. I would love to meet someone that I could just talk to and have them help me figure out what is going on inside my head.
Christmas used to be my most favorite time of the year. Now it's not so much.
I just want to be happy again and live life.
Sorry for the edit, but we aren't suppose to discuss suicide on this forum.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/13/2010 8:01:41 AM (GMT-7)