care bear,
i think we all know how you probably feel. there is no simple solution i'm sorry.. but, i can tell you for sure that if you take the first few steps, by going to a dr, telling someone who will care (say a best friend or someone) and taking it easy on yourself every day will become just a little bit easier.
.. don't feel that you have to pretend everything is fine if it isn't... DO spoil yourself a little bit.. DO do superficial things like get your hair cut or watch your favourite t.v show in your p.j's all day.. don't feel guilty about it either! if your legs weren't working properlly you wouldn't feel guilty about spoiling yourself and making yourself feel better.. so why should it be any different when you're mind is not working properlly.. don't feel guilty just cos your mind is a bit unwell..
imagine yourself as someone else and say "if my best friend was feeling the way I am right now, what would i do to make them feel better.. what would I say to help them.?" .. i think you'd say to that person that it's ok.. and that they should take it easy on themselves... you'd buy them little presents, and spoil them with a bit of junk food and some special outings... so do it for yourself. we all deserve to feel better, and we need to start by convincing ourselves that we do deserve it...
xo
just keep swimming.