I Can't Stand The Way I Look.

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Knowledge Is Blonde
New Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/18/2010 12:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello, first off this is my first post. My name is Courtney and I'm a 22 year old Business student who loves Japanese anime and video games, especially Japanese made video games.

A year ago I had a major breakdown after my ex fiance' almost literally kicked me to the curb, a few days later I attempted to, but I was caught by a family member, one of them being my cat who is like a daughter to me. I got some help after that, and even though I've been struggling with the heart break of my ex leaving me, its actually been a blessing in disguise. I completed my G.E.D., I'm in college now, and I work out three times a week to lose weight. I am about 230 pounds, and I'm aiming to lose 100 pounds.

However despite my efforts, I've been really down about my looks lately. I broke down in the school cafeteria earlier which was incredibly embarrassing. Not only do I have my weight, but I still have a small acne problem, thankfully its no where near as bad as when I was a teenager. However I still have small scars left over from that time.

I just basically don't feel comfortable in my own skin, and I don't feel pretty, which every girl deserves to feel.

I also feel the fact that I don't have any friends or a girlfriend (I'm ***) due to my lack of looks. It's incredibly lonely.

As I said I'm doing all I can to lose weight, I work out, I even try to eat a lot healthier. As for my face, well in general I take good care of myself. I shower every day, wash and condition my hair, and I use lotion after every shower. I also scrub my face after every shower with the Loreal face wash that has the little scrubby with it.

I would post pictures to get some suggestions and feedback, but I am unaware if it's allowed or not.
Sorry sweetie for the edit, but we aren't allowed to discuss suicide on the forum.  Thanks for understanding...  Karen

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/18/2010 7:40:34 AM (GMT-7)

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 12/18/2010 8:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome! glad to have you with us, you'll find a great group of people here who are willing and able to help you out in any way they can.

Its nice to hear that you are taking such big steps to improve your health/lifestyle, it takes a lot of guts and grit to go back and finish schooling etc....congratz on that! turn

I also struggle with self image issues and sometimes don't feel comfortable in my own skin. So unfortunately i don't have any great words of wisdom. But, i'm sure you are a beautiful woman despite what you are telling yourself. Try to focus on the positives, things that you like about yourself, i know its hard sometimes to find those but they are there somewhere. Anyway i wish i had more i could share but i just wanted to post to offer some encouragement to keep going in the direction you are going because it will pay off greatly in the end. Keep it up!

BTW i dont watch too much anime but i have an unhealthy obsession with FLCL.... yeah

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 12/18/2010 9:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Knowledge,

I hope you are feeling better since you posted. It takes a lot of stress off of us to write things down. Especially our feelings. Sorry for the small edit, but we aren't allowed to discuss suicide or self harm on this forum.

Keep up the good work. Throw in some walking. It really helps to lose the weight, and tones the muscles. I use to watch a show called body electric. I loved it. has many muscle toning exercises and some aerobics. I don't even know if it is on anymore. But it was the perfect work out show for me at that time.

I am not too sure what to say either, as I am struggling with weight issues too. I am tall so that helps, but it is still hard. Do tey the walking, maybe join an exercise class. Eat healthy. Love yourself. that is most important. Learning to accept ourselves for who we are, then the rest falls into place. Keep posting and know that we all care about you.

I am sure that there will be more responses, though the weekends are slow. The weeks are really busy though. I hope that you have a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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