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Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/17/2010 11:36 PM (GMT -6)   
 I grew up with my mom and dad being together for about 2 years of my life. People say that a child doesn't have much of a memory up until after they're 2 but with my experience that isn't true. I watched my dad get drunk and beat my mom until she was unconcious and we always thought she was dead. There was many times we would stand over her looking at her thinking she was dead. After my parents divorced we were to spend every second weekend with my dad. The only problem with that was that we would go to spend the weekend with him and end up staying at our grandparents and see him one day of the weekend, Sunday, for Sunday supper. I went through a depressed suicidal phase and went to a councler for over a year and my mom had always told me that my dad knew about it and knew why I was going. I was talking to him tonight and I asked him why we never talked about me going to councling or why I was going. I was going because I was lonely, I felt like he really didnt want us and I was having flashbacks of the fights between him and mom. I use to  to see how much I would to see if I could rid some of the pain I was feeling inside by inflicting pain on myself. My dad had told me that he didn't know anything about me going to councling or why i was even going or even the fact that I was suicidal. I don't understand how all these years my mom could tell me he knew and he just didn't care. How do I fix my trust issues when it comes to this situation?

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/18/2010 7:30:12 AM (GMT-7)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42204
   Posted 12/18/2010 8:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Thunder,

You talk about what your dad did, but don't say much about your mom except that he abused her. Do you have a relationship with her?

I am sorry that your dad wasn't around when you were smaller. I never had a dad, so I don't know much about father daughter relationships. Though I know you are angry with him for not being there. Are you angry with him for hurting your mom? I know, many questions, but I want to understand what is going on in your mind. Though I can see anger.

I had to delete a couple of words out of your post as we are not to talk about suicide or self harm. Sorry. But I can see that you have been through a lot. Do open up here and talk and get advice.

Are you going to any counseling? I would highly recommend that at this point. You have a lot to work out. You could use the support too. Counselors are great. They talk to you, let you talk. Give their opinion and help you work things out. So do think about going.

I hope that you are feeling better. Depression is hard. Keep posting and know that we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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