Life just seems to pass by without me...

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kittyjane18
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/18/2010 2:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I would rather I didn't state my real name. I will call myself instead Jane. My name is Jane. I started becoming depressed in about 8th or 9th grade. More 9th grade. I had this fastpitch instructor, who would just put me down all the time. So I gave up all interest in the team. The team won 1st in district, but without me. As the years have passed, my depression has gotten worse. I am 20 now and still live at home. I so very much want to move out but I have no ambition and no will to really try anything to get myself out. I have applied to all kinds of jobs but to calls. This doesn't help my depression. Sometimes I feel like everyone else is better than me. I sometimes, in the morning or late at night, lay in bed and think that it would be so great if I didn't wake up, that it would be easier. I don't believe in suicide, but I can't help the way I feel. I have no goal for my life. I want to go to college, but I have no goal to go towards. I have no idea what I want my life to show. I sometimes feel like I am trapped in a worthless body. The world seems to go on without me and I don't know what to do. This is the first step I have made to do anything about my depression. I didn't know I was depressed until someone I cared about told me that she notice that I acted like I was depressed. I also am struggling with body issues. I am almost 300 pds and this makes me sick to think about. But when I think about the excercising and dieting, I get discourage and give up before I ever start. I know that I am at my breaking point and am finally trying to do something about it. So any advice or help is gladly accepted and welcomed ;D
 

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/18/2010 4:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and welcome,
 
When I was first struggling with depression 27 years ago,  I never thought that I was a person that such a disorder would ever belong to me. I found it was very difficult to admit I was not coping.  I felt it reflected a weakness and I did not want anyone to know. I felt people would think less of me for not being on top of the world and perfect in everyway.
 
Admitting and accepting that there are some things you need outside help with is the first step to getting better.  You are not alone in this depression or in having a weight problem which also hits our self-esteem and knocks us down.  I know people can be very cruel to anyone with a weight problem. 
 
A competent PCP can help you get started on the right path to working with your depression as well as your weight problem.  May I suggest counseling as it is something you can do for yourself and you are important, so take that step.  I have belonged to weight watchers forever and even thow I may lose weight I will gain weight too.  That makes me feel sad and ashamed but I never give up.
 
A weight watchers meeting offers so much support and celebration of each goal you reach with nobody putting you down for any steps backwards. 
 
Coming here and talking with the members was very brave of you and I look forward to getting to know you better.
 
Kindly,
Kitt
 
 
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 12/18/2010 10:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Jane,

Kitt gave you some wonderful advice. I would like to add though to try to start walking. Even if it is just five minutes a day. Gradually work your way up to ten minutes. Just walk. You need to keep mobile. And walking burns a lot of calories and is easier on us than jogging.

I think Kitt has a good point about joining a group. This is another way not to feel alone with your struggles. Coming here is good too.

Keep trying, never give up. See your doctor first and go from there.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 12/18/2010 11:22 PM (GMT -6)   
walking helps me. and my head. with compassion, jamie. the painting>>>>>>
arrrgggghhhhhh......:-0) frustratingly good!!!!!!!! and tiring..........never stop trying.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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