Lately i find myself asking whats my purpose, in life. School is horrible, my grades are low, my social life at school is bad. I have no friends. I forgot how to make friends I convinced myself that i dont need any. .
I find myself always pushing everyone away. Sometimes i just want to be invisible. When i see my siblings happy i get upset, in get angry at them. I hate to see them happy cause im not.
I have a boy who seem to be very intersted in me but i wont allow myself to be with him. Because i dont think any thing good will come out of it.
Theres no peace at home, cause theirs drama there. Its stressful. And when i try getting some time to myself im always intrupted. In when im ignore by everyone (even though i want to be invisible) i get upset.
I have so many emotions. I hate my familys happiness
. I hate the fact that i happen to be so upset, I hate myself because of it.
Im not crazy or anything, im just lost. I dont know who to talk to. Cant talk to any of my sisters cause i dont like to express myself to them. Just was hoping that you can make sense of all this. My mind is in so many places thinking about so many different things. Just want somebody to talk to. I dont intend to go to a thirapist.