i need help understanding depression, could be life/relationship saving!

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 12/21/2010 5:29 PM (GMT -6)   
my girlfreind is extremely depressed, she has clinical depression and bi-bolar. i never know how to act when she has a breakdown, i keep saying that "everything will be ok" and "we will be okay" but at the end of it she turns to me to and says "you cant say that you understand, you wont understand depression unless you have it." how does a depressed person feel? how can i understand how she feels?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 12/21/2010 5:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Becklett,

Depressed people feel hopeless. Like their world is coming to an end. They often don't have energy and do have pain. It is a part of depression for some. If your girlfriend is bipolar, she will have highs and lows. She may go for days feeling like she is on top of the world. and maybe not even sleep. She could have high energy when she is in this state, and do wreckless things. This is called mania. Bi polar use to be called manic depressive. As because of the manic episodes, going on a high. But then she will drop down and be severly depressed. That is the really bad part about it. She may be remorseful for things that she did during her manic state. She may just be down and out. With no end in sight. Depression is horrible. I would recommend that you look it up online or get a book to read about it so that you can understand it better, you may even want to see a counselor to have some help coping with this and to better understand it. Take a look at the bipolar forum and read about it. You can ask questions there too.

Being depressed is like falling into a black hole with no bottom. You feel like there is no control in your life. You cry at the drop of a hat. Some people often get irritable, nervous and angry. Like I said before, you have no energy to do things. Everything seems hopeless. You lose interest in the things that you love. And you feel that nobody understands. And a lot of people don't. I hope that you have luck with this situation and that you can figure things out. Take it one day at a time. Maybe you could ask her questions about the things that you don't understand, but I highly recommend getting a book on it. Especially the bipolar part.

Take care my friend. Your girlfriend is lucky that she has you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/21/2010 6:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and welcome,
I am sorry to hear of your girlfriend's depression and bipolar disorders.
Most bipolar people enjoy long periods of normal mood. If she continues treatment, she may never have another major mood episode. She will probably have hypomanias and depressions, but not as extreme as this mood episode.
Here are some suggested books for you to read, "Loving Someone with Bipolar" by Julie Fast. Bipolar for Dummies is pretty good. As is "An Unquiet Mind" which is written by a Professor  of Psycholigist who has bipolar.

Also, don't treat her any differently than before, except no drugs or alcohol or staying up all night. All of these things can cause mood episodes.
A must is for you to take care of yourself.
I am not a Doctor and there is NO substitute for getting proper medical diagnosis and advice.

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