Family Vs. Significant Other

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/22/2010 11:08 AM (GMT -6)   
I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. My family does not approve of my partner and has forbidden me to see her. I am in a gay relationship and that is one factor effecting my parent's decisions. I have reasoned with them, begged them, lied to them, snuck around, etc. I have been caught AGAIN. I have been given the choice between her and my family. I do no want to make that choice nor do I think I should have to. I am in love with her and my family is forcing me to make a decision that will emotionally destroy me either way. I am extremely depressed and stressed over this situation I am in. ANY advice or comments would be appreciated.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42207
   Posted 12/22/2010 11:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi 0115,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression Forum. I am so glad that you have joined us. How old are you? Are you old enough to be out on your own yet? Once you are of legal age, you should be able to make the choices that you want. You can be with whoever you wish. But if you are living at home, there isn't much you can do about the situation. You may just have to bide your time until you can move out and be with your significant other. I am sorry for the position that you are in. Too bad they didn't think you were just friends. But it sounds like they know the difference now. I hope that you can hang in there.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/22/2010 6:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and welcome to HealingWell.  I think Karen's question is a good one - age depends on a lot of what you can control at this point.
I learned from experience that just because certain people are your parents, that fact does not automatically make them loving, understanding or even nice people. You have your life to live and you must live it  the way you choose to in order to be happy and fulfilled regardless of what others think, parents or otherwise. Just remember to choose wisely especially if you are young. 
Some teens may also experiment with sexual experiences, including those with members of the same sex, during the years they are exploring their own sexuality. These experiences, by themselves, do not necessarily mean that a person is gay or straight.
I wish you a happy holiday season,
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1143
   Posted 12/23/2010 6:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Is it a case of family fear of your being gay or do they simply object to your partner? My sister went through the same thing. My father and one sister were extremely damaging with personal comments. My mother, two sisters, a brother and I were comfortable with her being gay but not her first girlfriend. I thought the girlfriend was cruel. I worried about my sister's safety. It turned out we were right. I wish her first love could have been a better memory. That was many decades ago. My sister says everything shakes out all right in the end. She has been in a healthy, loving relationship for 12 years. Try to keep things in perspective and honor your own dignity as well as your family's. You may have to be extremely diplomatic for a while.
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