Yeah, I just dont know.

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/30/2010 1:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Alot of things have been happening since i last posted.
I found out a lot of details about my parents seperation. Well, my mother shared that my dad cheated on her a few days after my birthday. And that she didnt tell us cause she didnt want us mad at him. My dad has also been "fooling" around after preforming at his concerts and stuff. He claims, "He found happiness in them". My mom said, its me whos making the house miserable. Pretty much saying, i made him leave. My sister will act like shes not going to yell at me, but when i talk back she screams in my face saying, "Thats getting you no where" or "Just shut up.". Which hurts, because thats my sister. I only expected that from my parents.
My mom takes everything so personal? Like, the other day i was dealing with an issue which was making me really upset and when she kept asking over and over "Why you so mad? What the hell did he do?" It got me frustrated so i told her its none of her business. Then she goes and crys saying we dont wanna hang out with her? And that i should just get out? Yeah, she pretty much kicks me out 6 times a day, then when i go to leave...she yells at me and tells me to go to my room.
I go to my friends for help, but all they do is say sorry. Theres literally no one that cares enough to actually say somthing besides my new best friend Mandi. :)
Well, the boy ive talked about in my last 2 posts, hasnt really changed. The other day we got in a fight for a few minutes and he said things like, "i dont care about you or your opinon." But after the fight was over he said, "I forgive you if you forgive me." So im not sure if hes saying, forgive me for saying i dont care. Or forgive me for getting angry.
I did somthing that i do with my friends, but this time it was at my house. My mom and dad caught me and shared that it was an expensive bottle and i just drank down hundreds of dollors worth of ...liquid.
I just dont know how to make everything better? How do i get my life back to the way it was?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 12/30/2010 3:18 PM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like you need to take things one day at a time. When you are upset with your boyfriend, it is best not to stomp around the house and be miserable. Try to keep these things seperate. It sounds like you have a lot of issues going on right now, it wont always be that way. So take things as they come. That is the best way. Try not to stay angry, life is too short. It isn't worth it. You don't have to let things effect you if you don't want to. So try not to let them stay on your mind. Pick up the pieces and move on. Easier said than done, I know, but with practice, you will get it.

Best wishes to you with your situation.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/30/2010 4:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and I am so sorry things are tough for you right now.   Let's get something into your hurting little head okay...your parents divorcing - is not, in any way shape or form, your fault. If your parents cannot live with each other it is their problem.  I wish they would get   counseling as perhaps they both have common ground they could work through.
In deference to your Mother, finding out that her husband has cheated on her must have been devastating.
To begin with it is the shock that catches you and then sadness followed by rage. These emotions will come to your Mother no matter what she does and she  will need to move through these stages before she can ultimately move on. 
As for you,  you should never be caught in the crossfire and your Mother should never put the blame on you.
Sibling rivalry is normal in families with more than one child. There can be many reasons for this, but at the core of this rivalry is a common theme that runs through it all: the sense that you are   the victim of the other and somehow “less than your sister”
Respect runs both ways; perhaps you and your sister could make a pack to stop yelling and being  sassy to each other.
May I kindly suggest that you ask your Mom if you could see a therapist to help you understand what your going through and how to make things better for you.
Please stop blaming yourself for all that goes wrong at your house and start taking care of you.
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 1/1/2011 11:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, TinkerBell,

I haven't talked to you in a while, but I see that your relationship with your boyfriend no longer throws you into a depressive state--more like anger surfacing.

You remember that I said to you once that the closer we are to someone the greater the danger of an explosion. Until you are able to move on in your life with new living situation and more control in your relationships, it's best to distance yourself from what's happening all around you at least enough to have space to deal with your own emotions and to have privacy to think about things in the family and boyfriend.

I've thought all along that your feelings were going to become less sad over losing your boyfriend, and you seem able now to fire back when he vents at you. Things are changing, Tinker Bell; they will continue to change if you work at it.

Back away from the grief your mother has and ignore some of the things your sister says. She's being affected by the impending divorce, too. It's going to be up to you to be strong; you do that by being independent in thought and behavior. In case you need temporary help, talk to your doctor about what's happening and ask for appropriate medication to ease you through the trauma in your family.

You could liken your situation to being in a small boat on a stormy sea; you can be tossed about roughly unless you try to find calmer waters where you may sail in comfort. You can't change the storm, but you can change your way of dealing with it.

It's nice to hear from you again. I'm interested in seeing you come out of the storm into a strong, safe place; I hope you'll keep the forum updated.

Take care.

It's Genetic
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