New here, please help me.....

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Hansdaughter
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/3/2011 9:08 AM (GMT -6)   
mad  I am new here and hoping to get any kind of relief before I do something drastic.  I do have  thoughts occuring several times a day since the new year hit.  I am on Celexa but I did go off it for a month because I was taking another med for arm pain.  It made me feel like I could do anything, like I used to.  The doctor won't prescribe it anymore, just the Celexa.
 
I feel shaky, sad, angry, alone, depressed and hopeless.  I had a therapist, but my co pay money ran out and I just couln't afford to pay him.  Plus when I was really depressed a few months ago, I called him for an appointment because I felt  he told me to call someone else, that he was too busy. wow.
 
I got laid off two weeks before Christmas and my unemployment has run out.  My husband is very patient, but that has worn off, he is really upset with me.
 
I just have to find work, but feeling this depressed, I think..."how the hell can I work when I feel like this?"
 
My daughter met a guy and has been glued to him for two months, putting me on the back burner, not calling me anymore, etc.
 
I feel like I can't take anymore............please help.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/3/2011 8:21:20 AM (GMT-7)


alwaysherex3
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 1/3/2011 10:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry that you're feeling so many emotions all at once. Since it looks like it's really up to you to feel better I would definitely suggest that you first collect yourself. Slow down and take some deep breaths. Since you're unemployed anyway, just get out there and try to do something that actually relaxes you for once. While you have no choice of working or not, just try to calm yourself down. I'm sure if you chill out a bit everything will seem MUCH less monumental.

As for your husband, I'm sorry. It may be frustrating for him to deal with this just like it's frustrating for you. Remind him you're upside down right now and you need support. If he's just at his last nerve and you can't get through to him, I'd suggest giving some space for the better of you both. You're going to feel rejected if he's frustrated because that's how I feel sometimes with my husband when I need him and I'm forcing him to deal with me. So it's not a good idea to go there.

Which brings me to your daughter.. well.. I'm sorry. I really can't tell you much to do about that except just leave it alone for a minute. It's a new relationship and she's probably just really into the whole thing and swept off her feet and whatnot. remember.. She loves you very much. You're her mom no matter what happens.

Try doing things that calm you down. maybe a hot bath or a swim. read a novel, paint, draw. Anything. Listen to music. Take a nap. Focus on calming yourself down and the everything will fall into place because you'll have a clearer head to sort your stuff off. I hope i helped <3 feel free to reply if you wanna talk about anything else

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42495
   Posted 1/3/2011 10:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,
 
I am sorry I had to edit your post but we are not allowed to discuss suicide here and the edit stops further discussion.  But here are some resources for you.
 
National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com
 
 
I hope that this helps some.  It will give you somebody to talk to when you are feeling that way.
 
It sounds like you are sad because your daughter has found a boyfriend.  You are starting to go through the empty nest syndrome I think.  This is normal.  She must be getting close to the age of leaving home.  I am sure that frightens you.  Or else you were very close and she seems to be distancing herself with this guy.  But know she still loves you, she is just starting her own life.  And that is normal too.  We have to learn to accept this and know that they still care about us.  They just love others too.  So try not to get down from this and think of it as your daughter is growing.  That is to be expected.  I am sure that she loves you very much. 
 
We are only into the third day of the new year.  I would talk to the doctor about the way that you are feeling.  And while I am thinking of it, you didn't get very much unemployment, have you applied for an extension.  Some people got up to 26 months.  You should get that also.  That is a half of a year.  I think it would do you good to work though.  It would take your mind off of your problems.  I love working when I can.  It gives me a whole other life.  I think it would benifit you to find another job.  It may not be what you would normally like, but mediocer (sp) jobs can be fun too.  They might not pay as much, but it helps.  Also check with your job and see if they are hiring again.  Things could have changed there and they might need some help.  Just don't give up on yourself.  You sound like a good person and capable so keep trying. 
 
I hope that you feel better soon.  Remember though we might feel crummy at home, getting out does us good.  So try to get out of the house. 
 
Keep posting and know that we all care.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Hansdaughter
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/3/2011 11:15 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks so much for the support, reading it just made me cry, which is a good thing.
 
I am sorry I didn't follow the rules on posting certain things.  It will not happen again.
 
My daughter is out of college where she attended for five years.  She lives half and half between my ex, her father, and my house.
 
Since the boyfriend has his own house, we don't see her hardly at all anymore.
 
I know she has a life, but it's hard to tell that to her 10 year brother who adores her so much.  He just knows she doesn't come around that much.
 
Thanks for everything

alwaysherex3
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 1/4/2011 12:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey! No problem. Just glad I could help you out a little. Hang in there. &I don't think you mentioned the whole 10 year old brother thing in your initial post. I think you should def talk to your daughter and tell her that her brother misses her. Because you can deal with her being a bit caught up but it's not fair to a child to feel rejected. So maybe you could just kindaa let her know that he misses her being around.

Hansdaughter
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/4/2011 3:33 PM (GMT -6)   
 
Thanks, I feel a little better today.  I found an awesome job listing that is perfect for me, so I revamped my resume, sent a great cover letter and just have to wait!
 
I think the little brother rejection is the main issue.  I mean I didn't have children so they would never grow up and wind up living with us!  But I will def say something to her.
 
I mentioned this before to her and she said she was "working on it".  But so far, no.
 
thanks for your post, it really helps!

alwaysherex3
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 1/4/2011 5:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Good luck with that. I'm glad you're being active.

Hmm.. I'm sorry you're daughter is being very careless. You already talked to her I guess there isn't much you can do. But it's important that the younger one doesn't feel rejected. Maybe (if you want and if she won't feel like you're totally stepping in) just remind her again and ask her (politely) if she's really okay with letting her little brother feel unimportant. That's just ..wrong. She's older and she should pay attention to that..

Family can drive you crazy sometimes but family is still family. It's her responsibility to give some of her time to her younger sibling. It's very important. I'm 18 and I have an older brother who I fell out of touch with and i really miss it. It hurts too. But it's just that i know I would be so much more confident about going through life with still having that friendship.

I think you should also talk to your son and remind him he shouldn't feel unimportant. Just keep an eye on him. And even though he needs his big sister, YOU should be his friend! I know for a fact an actual friendship with your own mom is about as good as it gets. It's a little hard at first but just do it.

I don't have kids but I've noticed that it's in the teenage years that parents feel kinda shut out, which is normal but I've started to notice WHY. Your teenager doesn't let you in. In some cases children get into that teenage mentality a little earlier than their actual teen years. And parents love to spend time with their babies. Just strike up a friendship; it'll help EVERYONE in the family. not just you.

It'll also help your daughter see that she should be making more of an effort. But deff try to get in there with him. It might be a little hard but I'd love to have that effort from my own mother.

Hansdaughter
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/4/2011 6:35 PM (GMT -6)   
 
That's good advice.  I already have a great tie with my son, so does his dad.  When it's just us three we have a blast.  When my daughter visits, it's nothing but laughter all through thSte house.
 
How are things with your brother now?  Are you and him the only siblings?
 
I was super glued to one of my older brothers (I have 3), but we grew apart as we got older.  I have tried several times to reconnect with my brother, but it's all about him and his life.  It's like he could care less about what's going on in my life, sad but true. 
 
My mother was invisible toward me growing up.  She never cared about me.  I have had to face that many years ago, it still hurts.
 
There was  a lot of abuse growing up that she tolerated and was never supportive.  Even after knowing the horrible things my step father did, she reamined with him til he died a few years ago.
 
Strangers being mean to me is easier to take, but when your own family treats you like that, it stings forever.
 
thanks, keep in touch!
 
 
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