I've always had issues with stress and panic attacks. However, over the years I've managed to keep them under control mainly through routine and diet and going to the gym etc. Those are just things that worked for me as I'm sure everyone's different.
I was with my girlfriend for about a year and a half and everything was going well. We didn't get to see each other as often as we liked because she has a sick relative she takes care of, as well as some health issues herself. But that's just life and we take it as we go and enjoy ourselves. One week we're supposed to hang out and she stands me up. nothing until a text message couple days later explaining her phone broke. That's fine, its a little annoying to have happen, but it does happen. Then we make plans for the next week, she stands me up again. I haven't heard anything from her since.
This was 2 months ago. I am losing my mind. She won't respond to texts, emails, phone calls, FB messages, anything. Her friend just simply tells me she doesn't know whats going on between us. I had heard that her family member was in the hospital, but that was it. We're in our early 30s, just cutting someone off you've been with almost 2 years is something you do when you're like 14.
So now I can barely function. I have to do my job, but I can barely hold it together for that anymore. I wake up at night having panic attacks, getting sick. I started having panic attacks at work. There's no closure and it doesn't look like there's going to be. I worry if she's ok, I worry about her family member, what if she's in the hospital too, or what if I did something, what if she started hating me so much I dont even get a break up call, am I that worthless - those things are constantly in my head. If she wanted to take a few weeks off that's fine, just tell me. I even asked her to let me know with a simple 'yes' that she's ok, nothing. Although we haven't dated long, we talked on an almost daily basis for about 10 years of friendship. More than anything I want my friend back.
I get home from work and I just lose it from trying to keep it together and be professional all day. All I want to do is sleep, then I wake up with these panic attacks, my mind just races all day it seems. I eat only a little bit of food, because I know I have to, but really haven't had any interest in it. I'm worried because its 2 months now and I don't see it getting better anytime soon. I just feel so useless that someone can just throw me away like that.
I'd never hurt myself just because I'd never want to but my parents through that, so that's not an issue. Also, all of this came right on the heels of dealing with the loss of a good friend that passed away. I was just starting to do better with that and this happened. I feel like I can't tell my friends about it because of how embarrassing it is, so I make up stupid lies to tell them like "we're taking a break" or "we decided it didn't work out" which kills me each time I have to put on that face like everything's ok.
Sorry for the long post, I'm just... I don't know I just can't get myself together.