Spending My Life in Bed

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BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 1/5/2011 2:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I know that a certain depression can follow/be associated with the holiday season, but I think there's something seriously wrong with me. I quit graduate school a week after I started last semester, and plan to go back this semester (which starts in a week). The only problem is, I have *no* motivation. I don't mean no motivation like "I'll do it later" or "I don't want to do it, but I will and it'll get done" no motivation, I mean I literally can't make myself do anything. I've barely gotten out of bed in these recent days, except to go to a doctor's appointment (for the body, not the mind). I have an appointment with a new psychiatrist next Tuesday, and school starts on Wednesday. I'm not excited about classes, and I just feel so weird.

When I started school 5 1/2 years ago (it really doesn't seem like it's been that long), I moved out of state, got my act together, was successful-ish at school, etc. Why can't I do that now?! I was depressed then, too. Will I snap out of this? I feel bad 24/7, I want to just sleep through my life. I never knew it could be this bad. We had family come to visit over the holidays, and getting dressed every day, showering, putting on makeup, etc. felt like such an act. I felt like I was putting a ton of effort into convincing people (my competitive sister, her boyfriend) that I was feeling good, but it just made me feel worse. When I try and think of positive things, I can't. Too many negative truths are staring me in the face. On top of everything, I'm gaining weight. Yay!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 1/5/2011 3:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi bluemoon,

Your name always makes me think of the song. You sound like me when I found out that I had fibromyalgia. I was in bed for close to two years. It was awful. All of that wasted time, but I could do nothing else. You may have some chronic fatigue syndrome going on. Though depression alone can make you feel this way too. How are your moods? Are you feeling sad or irritable? It seems to me you said you felt depressed.

I am glad that you are seeing the psychiatrist on Tuesday. Did you register for classes for Wednesday? You will get this sorted out I am sure of that. It just takes time and the willingness to try. And it sounds like you are doing that. Keep your chin up. Take care of you. You were able to get dressed and put make up on when you had to. So I think that you are going to do better than you think you are.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

is_here_now
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 1/5/2011 9:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I know exactly how you feel. I am going through something very similar right now. I really hope it passes for you soon. I have been through it before and you will come out of it. Just give it time and try doing things that you like doing, even if you don't have the motivation, make yourself. It really can help.
Hope everything works out.(:

My thoughts are with you.

BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 1/6/2011 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for your kind words. It really is going to have to be a day-to-day process, huh? I just feel so weak, knowing that I've beaten depression in the past. How can I feel so crummy for such an extended period of time? I know it's ruining my life, or my chance at having a life, and I still can't seem to make myself care...
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 1/6/2011 9:53 AM (GMT -6)   
It can become a hard process. Take it one day at a time, set small goals for yourself. Be good to yourself and allow yourself to get better slowly. This can't be rushed. I am sure that you will get some energy back soon. Try going for a walk. That helps me.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

red lightening
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 1/6/2011 11:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Sometimes the hardest thing I've had to do is to 'accept' my depression. Own it. It is going on and I have to let it run it's course. Cease fighting it and it gets better.
It will not last forever. You will feel good again soon.

I say positive affirmations to myself when I am down and scared...such as " I am stable." "I am safe." "I am healing." "I love myself." Even if you don't feel like saying it and don't believe it ...say it anyway, over and over and you will start feeling better.

Also deep breaths help depression.
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