Advice or Suggestions needed

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 1/6/2011 5:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone. As I've posted here lately, my depression and anxiety are at an all time high right now. Legal issues that have been hanging over my head for over 2 years now are literally days/weeks away from happening. With that said, I'm forgetting things or having problems doing things logically at times. For better or for worse, I will be moving probably in 60 days. To try to limit my stress (LOL) I'd like to make a checklist now of things I'm going to need to have to do. I'm moving from a good sized home that I've been living in for 17 years, probably into a condo or small apartment hopefully in my same town to limit the stress on my kids.(I started working on this today.) For those of you who have done this before any suggestions at all of things I will have to do in any capacity related to this, would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you ahead of time. I'm truly hoping that once everything dreaded happens I might actually be calm enough to not forget things or think logically again.


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 1/6/2011 7:01 PM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like you aren't in the moment. Most likely from thinking about your legal issues coming up. Try to just write things down, even thoughts. Try not to think too much about the upcoming event, other than if you have to prepare for it. Try to stay in the moment. Your mind will clear and you can focus on what you are doing at the time.

Best wishes to you Cass.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 1/6/2011 8:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Karen. Thanks for your response. I'm definitely not in the moment right now. I'm feeling a lot of things: worried, scared and actually excited because I so badly need for things to actually happen and get over with, even though I am worried about the results.

I used to be an excellent planner with checklists galore and my goal is to have such a good checklist that I will be better able to stay in the moment and be focused. I actually just found a moving kit/book that provides such checklists 2 months, 1 month, 2 weeks, etc... along with moving estimate forms etc. It's only $24.95, so I think I'll take the splurge. I figure the more organized and focused I am now the easier it will be when all the other stressful things heat up.

Meanwhile, if anyone has any "lessons learned" from their own moving experience I would appreciate it if they could share them.


It's Genetic
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Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 1/6/2011 8:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Cass, legal cases in court are one of the most stressful things we endure. I hope you will ask you physician for medication to help you
through those moments ahead. You should be fine once it's over, and there's certainly no harm in asking for medication just for the time of the trial.

The children will be fine just as long as they are with their mom.

An apartment or condo will give you at least 50% less housework to worry about! (and more time to enjoy your little ones.) You will probably enjoy the lifestyle in a condo once you become adjusted to it.

After it's over, things will be very much different for you: your concentration will become focused again and the forgetting will be part of the past. Your memory will be better than ever.

Please keep your eye on the positive things you have to look forward to. Keep us informed about how things go, please.

I wish you the best of calm days and contented nights ahead.

It's Genetic

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 1/6/2011 8:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Planning book sounds like a great investment. For me anytime we move or things start getting overwhelming my concentration and memory go. I have learned I absolutely have to write things down even when I think I'm okay. I even have a list of which house chores get done every day. Staying in the moment has always been tough for me. I used to have a plan for everything and I'd have a fit if things didn't go that way. I'm getting a little better, but it takes time.

One suggestion on moving is to pack slowly. Two months is a pretty good amount of time if you do a little every weekend. I always start with things I don't need out like things in my china hutches and my bookshelves. Doesn't usually take long to do either one and it's one thing out of the way. I just go room by room packing what I don't really really need so that by the last couple of weekends all you have left is what you absolutely have to have out. Due to circumstances we've had to move 7 times in 4 years so trust me I have this down to a science :) I'm bipolar and I used to get very manic trying to pack in 2 days or unpack in 2 days. This really seems to work for me. I haven't gotten that crazy overwhelmed feeling the last couple of times, so I hope that helps.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 1/6/2011 10:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Its Genetic

Thank you for your comments above. Yes, court and legal action, attorneys etc. are awful experiences to have to go through. I spent a lot of time and money last year and have been dreading what's left. But to answer your suggestion, I am already on 4 different medications. I have Major Depression and Anxiety and all of this has aggravated it quite a bit. In fact, one of the doses was increased yesterday for me, so thank you.

Meredithh220: Thanks for your advice. I have started to worry that 2 months wasn't enough but you put it so logically, that I feel a little peace over it now. I guess I just feel so overwhelmed that I wasn't sure how to start. But after reading your post I've started to do a game plan in my head. I know that I am certainly not the only one, but being a single mom and doing this on my own, I've just been nervous about it. As for moving 7 times in 4 years, oh my gosh! I hope you have finally found your own peace and will be able to stay put for awhile!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 1/9/2011 9:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Cass,
I rarely post on the forum anymore but when I saw yours I wanted to give you just a few suggestions. I moved after 31 years in a 4000 sq ft house into my tiny little place I live in now. I am very happy here by the way. You can imagine how much I accumulated after all those years and a lot was from my mom who had moved in with us. My best suggestion is donate, donate, or
throw out.  You have enough time. From the time I sold my house until the closing I had 6 weeks so it can be done. After you have packed boxes you should label what is inside and what room it is going to. This will save you a lot of time and aggravation. I am sorry you are having such a hard time now. I know what it is like to go through the legal problems you are having. But when it is over you will feel much better. I have thought of you and remember when we used to answer each others posts. I wish you well and hope you will tell everyone how you are doing after all is settled. You have been such a big help to me. If you want I would be glad to email you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Many hugs,

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 1/10/2011 12:13 PM (GMT -6)   
So sorry for what you're going through. Are you sure you will have to move that soon? I know with my crazy condo that it went to sheriff's sale back in October, but then I found out that the court needed to approve the sale before it could be placed for eviction (well, that's the deal in IL, anyways). They still haven't filled that paperwork all these months later. I'll have 60 days from the date the court approves the sale.
On the plus side of moving, a friend of mine said that I should move as soon as practically possible (long story re: UI, so I'm making $50/week right now & can't get UI; so I'm stuck for now). She's a judge & said that as awful as it is to see people go through this, the upside is that once they finish with the court stuff & move out, they begin to really put it behind them. You are closing this awful chapter of your life & are starting a new, beautiful chapter. :) Try to hang on to that hope. Moving is always stressful, even under the best of circumstances, but at the end of the day you will be done with all these worries, done with all the fruitless fighting to keep the status quo, done with the phone calls & everything else. You get a fresh start in a new home. You still have your beautiful children & all the things that really matter in life. Focus on that. Sell what you can on Craig's List or eBay. Leave behind anything you no longer need. I can tell you from my own experience that it actually feels better not to have so much stuff cluttering up your life. ;)

also, fyi ... moving companies put out those kinds of checklists for free:

Here's the one I used last time I moved:

RealSimple has a checklist that isn't nearly as comprehensive but includes some key points for families (schools, doctors, etc.):

Hope that helps!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 1/15/2011 6:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Aurora and Francis: Thank you so much for your kind input. Aurora, I also miss our posts back and forth to each other. I have wondered how you are doing and often think of you. I would love to pick up on the writing again.

Francis: Thanks for the heads up on the laws in your state. I believe I have about 60 days left because I have a buyer for my home. However, the bank gave me permission and then actually took it back for the shortsale. My lawyer has submitted documents and I am back to waiting (and this is only for the first creditor). Either way, I know now that the move is inevitable and I'm trying to get prepared. As I'm writing, I'm taking a break from my own room. I'm trying to clean through it or out first before I start packing things. I have accumulated so much after 17 years here. This isn't going to be easy but I know you are right about having so much less clutter and stuff left.

Thanks to both of you!

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