I NEED HELP!!!!! (PLEASE REPLY)

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iwanttobehappyagain123
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 1/11/2011 8:19 PM (GMT -6)   
DEAR WHOEVER IS HEAR READING,
I AM A 16 YEAR OLD SOPHMORE LOOKING FOR HELP! I DONT EXACTLY KNOW IF I AM TRULYY SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION.....BUT IM BEGGING FOR SOMEONE TO HELP ME AND GIVE ME THE RIGHT WORDS OF INCOURAGEMENT.
 
I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH THESE FEELINGS OF, IM GUESSING DEPRESSION. THINGS STARTED GOING REALLY HORRIBLE FOR ME WHEN MY MOM AND STEP DAD DIVORCED LIKE  ALMOST A YEAR AGO. AT FIRST I DIDNT REALLY KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE HOUSEHOLD, SINCE I WAS ALWAYS GONE WITH FRIENDS OR OTHER FAMILY OR DOING SOME SCHOOL ACTIVITY. THEN LATE AT NIGHT I WOULD START TO HEAR LIKE YELLING AND SCREAMING.....THEN NEXT I START HEARING LIKE LOUD THUDS....AS IF SOMEONE WAS JUST STOMPING AROUND. THEN ONE NIGHT SOMETHING TOLD ME TO GET UP AND SEE WHAT THAT LOUD THUD WAS.....AND TO MY WORSE NIGHTMARE I SEEN MY MOM BEING THROWN AND SHOVED TO THE GROUND AND PUSHED AGAINST THIS AND THAT AROUND HER AND MY STEP DAD'S ROOM. I THREATENED TO CALL THE POLICE AS I REPEATEDLY YELLED STOP PUSHING HER, YALL NEEDA STOP. I RAN IN MY ROOM UNCERTAIN WHAT TO DO SINCE I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN IN THIS SITUATION AND I CRIED AND JUST LISTENED TO ALL THE YELLING AND VIOLENCE AS IT CARRIED OUTSIDE AND I HEARD WHAT SOUNDED LIKE SOMEONE ZOOMING OFF IN THE CAR AND SOMEONE YELLING AND POUNDING ON THE DOOR AND WINDOWS......
 
 
AFTER ALL OF THAT DRAMA MY EX STEP DAD MOVED OUT WITH THE LADY HE WAS CHEATING ON MY MOM WITH.....AND MY MOM MOVED HER MAN THAT SHE WAS CHEATING ON HIM WITH IN OUR HOUSE.......ME AND MY MOM HAS NEVER BEEN IN THE BEST RELATIONSHIP AND SHE HAS SLAPPED ME AND YELLED ME THINGS AT ME DAMAGING MY SELF ESTEEM AND TELLING ALL MY FAMILY MEMBERS THIS CRUEL THINGS THAT WERENT TRUE about ME.....BUT THROUGH ALL OF THAT I LOVED HER BC OF COURSE SHE WAS MY MOTHER! BUT SHE MOVED HIM IN AND WITHOUT EVEN ASKING OR EVEN GETTING ME AND MY SISTERS INPUT. IM STILL REALLY MAD AT HER FOR THAT AND IM STILLING DEALING WITH THE FACT OF HIM COMING IN HER LIKE HE OWN THE PLACE
 
MY MOM HAS BEEN DRINKING ALOOOOOT MORE THAN SHE EVER HAS EVERYDAY. I THINK ITS BECAUSE OF HIM. EVERYDAY I SEE HER EITHER LIFTING WINE OR BEER TO HER LIPS FOR A DRINK. IT KILLS ME INSIDE KNOWING I DONT HAVE THAT GREAT OF A MOM LIKE MOST AND MY FATHER LIVES HOURS AWAY. THO I HAVE OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS IT SEEMS LIKE THEY AUTOMATICALLY TAKE HER SIDE.
 
SHE PURPOSELY MAKES ME MAD AND YELLS AT ME FOR NO REASON. I JUST WANT A MOM WHO SAYS SHE LOVES ME AND WE SPEND TIME TOGETHER LIKE WE SHOULD. BUT SHE JUST WANTS TO BE UP HER BOYFRIENDS BUTT. LIKE SHE EVEN RUINED MY GRANDMAS SURPRISE BDAY PARTY CHANGING THE DAY JUST SO HIS FRIEND COULD HAVE THEIR PARTY ON THAT SATURDAY. MAD3 ME EXTREMELY MAD.
 
EVERYDAY I STRUGGLE WITH KNOWING WHO I AM. I USED TO LOVE MYSELF. BUT IVE BECOME THIS PERSON WHO JUST SITS AND THINKS OF ALL THE NEGATIVES AND COMPARING MYSELF TO ALL THESE PRETTY PEOPLE WISHING I WAS THEM AND HAD THEIR HAPPY LIVES. MY FAMILY MEMBERS ARE STARTING TO BECOME WORRIED  BUT WHEN THEY ASK WHATS THE PROBLEM I TELL THEM BUT ITS SOOOOO HARD TO open UP TO THEM AND I CANT REALLY EXPRESS MYSELF LIKE I WANT TO.......
 
 
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME AND LET ME KNOW WHAT I NEEDA DO......I NEEDA GET HELP FAST BC IM about TO GRADUATE AND I DONT WANNA B DEALING WITH THESE THINGS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Post Edited (iwanttobehappyagain123) : 1/11/2011 6:31:16 PM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/11/2011 8:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there iwannabehappyagain123,

Welcome to the depression forum. I am so glad that you have joined us. I don't like hearing that your mom slaps you. It probably comes from frustration and being pushed around and sounds like beaten. I am sorry that this has happened. It must of been really hard for you. And her bringing in another man must be hard for you too. If it is really bad, I recommend child protective services. But it would also be wise to tell your story to a counselor who can guide you through it. I know that you will be graduating soon and can probably leave home soon, but how old are your sisters? Is she mean to them?

My best advice would be to get a school counselor to talk to or a mental health counselor, or even your pastor. If it is really bad, maybe the police should be involved. Let us know.

May I ask that you don't type in all capitals? On this forum it is considered shouting and not wanted. Also it is hard for some of us to read.

I hope that we can help you. If nothing else support you and give you some direction. It took a lot of courage to post here and that was a big step.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 1/11/2011 9:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Please talk to a trusted teacher, social worker, anyone who can really help you as soon as possible. Anyone hit's you or anyone else in the home do not hesitate to get the police involved, it is abusive. No one should have to live with that.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

dc532
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/12/2011 4:41 PM (GMT -6)   
i have no idea if i really am capable of giving advice. stuff i am about to say aint gonna be easy but is it absolutely essential?definitely.
first forgive your mom your dad or anyone u BLAME for what YOU feel. if not because they deserve but bcuz u deserve it.believe me u deserve to be happy. when people do bad things to us we may feel anger at them but if we see the pain they have inside we wont help feeling sorry for them for it is only pain that leads us to do bad things.make sure you don't treat anyone unfairly yourself because you yourself are in a lot of pain.the hitting part is pretty serious.she probably loves you but throws fits in a rash angry mood. if i were u i'd just stay out of the way until that mood has passed.
second, take some time and think about how you are going to react rationally and maturely the next time you face that kind of bad situation. then do it too.

third maybe your real problem is that you compare yourself with others and to and want to be like them. that aint wrong but for that you will have to do what they did have the strong mindset they have. how would one of your role models respond to a difficult situation?.not doing what they do and whining will only aggravate the problem. stand up and face reality for god never gives us anything that we can't handle.if the conditions in your house the way they are now then face it you are not getting any help from your parents. its up to YOU to find the right person wholl encourage you now and be the support instead of ur mom.

fourth,have a center of your life,like a goal or a passionate dream for when we whine we give the control to our situation our pain we make the pain our center. it seems that right now you dont have very definite goals in life. if you focus on living the life of your dreams the life your happy the pain will be easier to bear for youll be too busy focusing on the future to be hurt by your mom.once you start achieving the life youve dreamt about you will find strength in your success and independence. make a list of all the things you want to do <be realistic> and make a reslve to lead a different life achieving the life you deserve and never looking back at the hurt of the past. i made sum1 i loved the centre of my life once and once you do things fr somene or something you love strength comes naturally.

change yourself,sell your soul(be someone totally different) if you have t,, for love for when you sell your soul not for yourself but for love that puts god on your side.

last when you see a problem ask yourself "what am i doing about it?" or "what is the simplest remedy to improve it" when you think about doing .. convert your shoulds into musts.trust my own philosophy"no matter how complicated the problem the solution is always simple when you really find it.like a magic trick" and trust me youll see miracles.real ones.

Ps-get your hands on a book called Shut Up Stop Whining and Get A Life by Larry Winget. it helped me.(just dont get carried away and beat yourself up or others over every little thing take responsiblity but be well aware when things are out of your control.) the positive thinker's prayer"
lord help me..
to change things that i can change,
to accept things i cannot
and the wisdom to differentiate between the two.

phew.... hope that helped best of luck!!!

iwanttobehappyagain123
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 1/12/2011 6:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you guys that have given me some great information and help......i GREATLY appreciate it!(:
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