Behavioral anormalities; Acting Out; Drug Connected?

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tyno3
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Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 1/13/2011 5:32 AM (GMT -6)   
It has been quite some time since I posted. I also post on the Fibro Forum as I am in constant pain when I don't have my meds. However; I have recently been on a course of Cymbalta, then had to discontinue even though I was getting good results b/c my drug plan will not cover the Cymbalta. I had to go back to Sertilene (Zoloft) 150 mg. a day; and it doesn't help with the depression much; if at all. We appealed several times; w/o success. It is also the 1 year aniversary of the death of my Father, prematurely and unnecessarily; I feel b/c he was refused immediate treatment by our Medical System, for his Skin Cancer b/c he had a brain tumor and dementia. I had cared for him, solo for five years in horrific conditions, to the best of my ability; and still lost him due to a screwed up medical system. It was a long, hard and exhausting battle. My life is in the toilet. I am very angry; have to wait three months for a psyche appt., and am self-destructing. I have had seven encounters with the law in the past three months. I have several court appearances up-coming; I feel like running away. Here my support system is very limited. I don't talk frankly to anyone. My few friends get little bits and pieces, as I see fit but I only visit when I can paint on a "happy face" looking like I am on top of the world. I am a great actress. I am seething inside. Is it possible some of the self-destructing behavior can be attributed to med changes? Anybody?

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 1/13/2011 7:48 AM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like you need a different medication or an adjustment. I am sorry that you can't take the med that helps you. I feel that is terrible. What is the system coming to? I wonder if there is another med that can help you that your insurance will cover? Give it a try with the doctor.

I am so deeply sorry to hear about your father. But you will be blessed for all teh good that you did for him. It will come in time. You are a wonderful person, never forget that.

I hope that you can find the right medication for you. I take it that it must be a rather expensive medication? I know that one of my copays is going up to 40.00 this year. It is rediculous. But I need the medication badly. And I wont switch as long as I can afford the copay. But I take a lot of meds and that really makes it difficult for me. They got you coming and going sometimes.

I hope that things start looking brighter for you. Know that greif can take a long time and we all grieve differently. So anything is okay. Be sad if you need to and let it out.

Take care, please keep posting. I am sure some other members will have some advice for you once they get on.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 1/14/2011 5:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank-you Karen for your words of encouragement and forgiveness, I feel like such a "heel" about getting into so much trouble. I knew the grief would eventually hit, but I never imagined it would take this avenue. Then the med changes (two in two months), leave me reeling. Finally; being denied my meds that were a miracle (cymbalta)), which actually did help me; well that just made me plain livid. Over the top w. anger. I shoplifted from a big chain store and got caught, 3 times. One floorwalker said "maybe you will aquire a conscience". I have a conscience. I am forever giving and helping out the "little guys" of the world. I had something stolen from me, by the "powers that be" and I guess I felt I had to get back at em. I have been living without for so long, inedible foodbank food which makes me sick sometimes; living on under $1000. a month (rent is $550. and about to go up as power rates just went up 27%.  My Dad died because he was denied treatment and left w/o food and almost no fluids for 18 days before I was able to get the story out in the media. Yup, I am angry. All I have are my two dogs and the dog catcher gets called about five times a month. A neighbor across the street apparently doesn't approve of my lifestyle. Like I chose it, eh? about 1200 piled up in fines over the dogs. Them telling me I have to get rid of 1 of my dogs. The dogs are what keeps me going. Chronic widespread pain (Fibro), which was abated when I had the proper meds; now denied. The floorwalker also said "it looked like you were trying to get caught". I probably was. Now i have a host of court appearances, pending. I am Bi-polar: went on a spree. Mad am I. Anyway; it appears I must have been in shock for a long time and then started to let reality set in. Incredible emotional pain and guilt over Dad. I miss him terribly. Have to stop now as I am beginning to tear up and have to pull it together as I see Family GP this morning. I have to look together or she'll deny my medicine if I appear rattled. Then I will be done for. Hurting all the time. Inside and out. Cannot face anybody with the truth. Thank-you for being there.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 1/14/2011 5:22 AM (GMT -6)   
MY HEALING COMPASSIONATE PRAYERS TO YOU TYNO3. YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. JAMIE.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 1/14/2011 5:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank-you Jamie. My haven't they hung a bunch of labels on us, though. We are ordinary people leading difficult lives. Anybody who has this much to deal with would surely get lost a time or two; don't you think? Thank=you and God Bless.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 1/14/2011 9:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Tyno3,

I truly feel for you. You have been through a lot. I would let the doc know that you aren't feeling good. I hope these meds work for you. It is so hard when we are restricted on what we can afford to take. It just isn't fair I don't think. My meds are going up this year. And I have copays, but still spend too much money on them. It is harrd. Then I get a fear what if I can't get them. That really freaks me out. So I try to take life one day at a time. No worries that way.

I am short on time, but will write more later. I am so ahppy that you are posting on the forum. Please continue, it is such a good place for support.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 1/14/2011 9:15 AM (GMT -6)   
yep a time or 2. jamie. keep fightin' and stay strong. with compassion, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 1/20/2011 5:56 AM (GMT -6)   
I was in the process of writing a rather lengthy reply and I heard a "bing" and zoom went my reply. Not able to take too much time right now, I want to say thank-you to all who have responded and or aken time to read about my crazies, and emphasize how incredibly important this forum is to me. It is my solace in the worst of the lond dark storms that envelope my life at present. I haven't gotten the cymbalta back, very unfortunate as nothing to date has worked as well, and also eliminated the Fibro symptoms. However, it seems for the present, I will have to "make do" with what is available. Cheers for now, thank=you. P.
Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 1/20/2011 8:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Good Morning Tyno,

I sure do hope that you feel better soon. I am sorry about the cymbalta. I hope that you find another medication that works. Know that we all do care about you here, and keep posting.

No real words of wisdom right now, kind of out of it. But I think things are going to work out for you. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen

It is too early... lol...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 1/20/2011 9:49 PM (GMT -6)   
keep strong, here 4 ya. jamie. healings to you.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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