Have you looked into the department of human services to see if you qualify for any help? I would highly recommend that. There has got to be some resources out there that might help you along.
I lost my first husband in 2000 to lung cancer. It is so hard to get going. If you push yourself too much it can become stressful for you. But it is healthy to get out and staying inside and in bed is not healthy. But... You are in a grieving process and it is taking time. There is no limit to the amount of time that it takes to grieve such a huge loss. Have you been going to any grief counseling? It is often free. It might benefit you to go. You will meet people in the same boat as you and maybe even make some friends there.
Do you talk on the phone to people? Sometimes that can be very therapeudic. You might want to give some kind of social group a try. Either way, don't beat yourself up over it. It takes time when you have lost somebody who was such a huge part of your life. Use the alone time to pamper yourself a little bit. Do something nice for yourself. I know it isn't easy. So try not to be hard on yourself.
Take care and keep posting.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies