why should i ??????????

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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/22/2011 11:00 PM (GMT -6)   
so, why should i continue with this relationship
with the lady? i know she wants more, but is
dictated by her mum. yes she has complex needs,
but don't we all!! nothing has changed with her
family, i am still hated. i hate the word hate, and
2 be hated by them is moving me to permanetly
ending this. nothing changes when nothing has
changed. will talk to her about this next week.
why is this so darn hard!!!!!!!!!!!! 8 months
went by and i had gotten over it, now it is startin'
all over again, albeit i will not put up with the
@#$% and hatred all over again. i was
threatened pysichally, my home was threatened
and had the nastiest of calls from the mother &
brother and the final hating note under my door.
 
what to do. seek some wisdom pls. it is doin'
my head in. thx 4 listening, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

BrianJ (bne)
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 198
   Posted 1/22/2011 11:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Jamiee,

you are in a truly bad spot. If it were me, I'd be watching out for myself. Nobody is going to take care of you and your needs except you in this relationship. It would seem to me that if this lady really wants a relationship with you, she'd be talking with her family about how they treat you.

You should not put yourself in a position of danger, fear or anxiety. The fact you say "it is doin' my head in." should be a real warning signal.

All I can say is keep yourself safe and that extends to your mental and emotional well-being as well as your physical state.

I feel for you.

Brian
Depression, Fibromyalgia, Colitis, Tourettes, Bipolar, degenerative disc, sciatica, IBS, anxiety, restless leg, Myofascial.

Effexor 150, Seroquel 200, Pentasa 800, Percocet 20-40 as needed and not cutting it.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/22/2011 11:35 PM (GMT -6)   
yeah.......wise words brian. thx very much. jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

myjoy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 1/23/2011 7:13 AM (GMT -6)   
I hope you have peace in your mind today, jamie.
DX fibromyalgia 2007, OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, sleep problems, lack of energy.
meds - fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, nabumetone, c-pap machine.
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/23/2011 7:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Jamiee,
 
I would think very carefully about putting yourself back into a position where you will be hurt and threatened by this relationship.  I do not see her parents backing off and giving there blessings to any relationship with this "lady".
 
I suspect you are wishing so much for this to work but in reality you know the outcome is very shaky, so please put yourself first. 
 
(((((((HUGS)))))))
Kitt 

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/23/2011 7:22 AM (GMT -6)   
up all night actually. worst manic day ever. can't sleep. she will never live with me nor be alone with me, so what's the point? i am useless. am tired. can't fight anymore. jamie. thx mate.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/23/2011 7:33 AM (GMT -6)   
thx kitt. jamie. this is gonna hurt her badly.................and me.

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 1/23/2011 8:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Can you still stay friends? Or is that too difficult? I would hope that you could. Maybe things will change in the future. And you will have time with her. Try not to let this get you down. Take it one day at a time. But protect yourself and your feelings. You are a great guy and don't deserve to be treated bad.

Take care Jamie, my friend...

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/23/2011 8:14 AM (GMT -6)   
thx my friend, jamie, thx.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/23/2011 9:09 PM (GMT -6)   
had a good chat with the therapist today. been shopping, got smokes 4 irene and i, seen bob on the bus, he dropped in for a bit. is doing better. me as well. just a bad couple of days. of to bed 4 some zzzzzzz. thx 4 all your support and care guys. love :-) jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Lululiya
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 1/23/2011 9:46 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't know what to say Jamie :( It's really unreal for people to act that way! Her family needs to back off, if for any reason because making threats and phone calls is ridiculous! Of course you should talk to her about this if you DO want a relationship and do want it to work.. Although if it didn't work the first time and nothing has changed, you might just be setting yourself up for something bad ... No idea, it's just so bizarre to me that people would act like that!!!
Diagnosed: Panic Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Major Depressive Episode

BrianJ (bne)
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 198
   Posted 1/23/2011 10:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Jamiee,

I was glad to hear you were going for a sleep - means you are coming to some conscious acceptance of what is and what needs to be happening. Stay safe Jamiee.
Depression, Fibromyalgia, Colitis, Tourettes, Bipolar, degenerative disc, sciatica, IBS, anxiety, restless leg, Myofascial.

Effexor 150, Seroquel 200, Pentasa 800, Percocet 20-40 as needed and not cutting it.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/24/2011 12:55 AM (GMT -6)   
yeah, cheers, few hrs, better than nought!!! jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 1/24/2011 7:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Jamie: I am glad to hear that you've had some sleep. Hopefully, it will provide some symptom relief for you. Here is my take on the whole situation and since I've been around since the beginning I feel strongly about this. Love, sharing, caring, helping each other, standing up for each other, leaning, supporting and every other emotion out there should be EQUALLY shared by the two individuals in a relationship. I realize that your lady has her own physical and emotional problems (not even counting her family), but so do you, Jamie. I have seen you give 200% of effort to this relationship. And ultimately, while I know you feel love towards your lady, look how sick this has made you.

This is clearly not right for you. I personally would love to see you have a restraining order out against each member of her family. And yes, this sounds very harsh. But all of this stress has continually compromised your health. And for you that should be the most important.

I have been reading a lot of Happy Bill's posts in the bipolar forum and how he honestly talks about finding a personal balance in his life that will make him well again. Paraphrasing here he talks about how he needs to eliminate unhealthy relationships from his life right now to get there. This doesn't need to be permanent, but he knows he needs time to heal and finish remaking himself into a healthier and stronger model - before returning to this aspect of his life again. I myself have found much wisdom in many of his thoughts. Perhaps this is something for you to consider as well.

Try to find just a little bit of Serenity in life my friend. You need the time and healthy space to make yourself feel well again.

Cass

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/24/2011 8:06 PM (GMT -6)   
very well said cass. and spot on. thx 4 these wonderful words of wisdom.
 
cheers, jamie :-)
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/25/2011 4:46 AM (GMT -6)   
this is killing me. i love her, fine and good, she loves me, fine, good. but i am not in love with her at the moment, and may never be, too much hatred has burned a hole in my heart. ok, she wants me as a bf, but with a carer, no way!! i hate this!!!!!!!!!! @#$%!!!!!!!!!! i will never be accepted by her family, never and i got this bit 1000000000% right. friends.......nah. oh !!!!!!!!!!
what 2 do, what 2 do. this sucks mega totally royally!!!!!!!!!! :-( jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/25/2011 4:57 AM (GMT -6)   
I HAVE FAILED YET AGAIN. IT IS OFFICAL- I AM A FAILURE!!!!!!!!! JAMIE.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 1/25/2011 8:05 AM (GMT -6)   
you are not a failure, your a person who was put into an impossible situation. I don't think there is anything you could do to come out of this situation unscathed. And i agree 100% with the posts above, maybe its time to concentrate on YOU, its obvious that this relationship is tearing you apart, sometimes you have to just let it go. It seems that all the good that the relationship is doing for you is greatly outweighed by the harm and chaos it forces upon you. You are not a failure. You are a great person who despite you own problems always helps others out with theirs. I pray for peace for you.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 1/25/2011 8:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Agree with Geosojda,

You are not a failure Jamie. It is just the situation.

Keep your chin up. Be good to you!!!

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/25/2011 4:56 PM (GMT -6)   
thx geosojda, thx karen. appreciate your care and support, means a real lot. jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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