I'll post this one more time at the risk of being told to please keep quiet!
1. We must never judge ourselves based on another person's opinion of who we are. When people speak, they reveal more of themselves than anything else. For example, if someone thinks we are incompetent and accuses us of that, he or she is very likely projecting a deep inner fear of being incompetent himself. The person who is intelligent and really knows that someone is incompetent is going to act as a teacher to help the less intelligent one learn so that incompetence is erased. People who care are not going to leave us in the lurch feeling that we are not important or valuable to others, and, more especially, to ourselves.
2. We should ask ourselves what our deepest principles are. In part, are those principles
A. to care for ourselves, to love ourselves, and others (who are healthy and even the weakened if we are strong enough inside to do that)?
B. to genuinely respect ourselves for the life we have been given?
C. to search for deep meaning in religious values that anchor, support, and give us strength and courage in the face of negative and jealous or envious people (who, incidentally, have serious problems with their view of themselves)?
D. to have as a great principle that of making sure that our word is good, regardless of how others think and feel?
E. to see ourselves as trustworthy?
F. to see ourselves as helpful--not perfect, because nobody is, but everybody has the ability to be helpful if he/she really sees that as important.
G. to like ourselves and children? Remember, we are all children--or at least we carry our inner child within us all our lives.
H. to think it is important to make sure that the needs of the little child within are cared for? (By caring for our needs or talking to a psychiatrist about the needs we feel are unmet and making ourselves willing to take the meds to overcome the stress that the litle child within feels while we are recovering from childhood injury--no matter how mild--and we all have that.)
I. to re-evaluate who we are from time to time, recognizing that we are who we are as growing and loving people?
J. to refrain from judging ourselves and learn either to let people know when they are revealing their attempt to judge us if we feel strong enough at the time, or to ignore the insult and remember who we are by living the deepest principles we hold dear?
All of this relates to our relationships to ourselves, our parents, our spouse, our fellow workers, and everyone whom we meet in life. We either live by these principles within or we keep trying to live by them as we grow.
I don't see the need for judgment at all. I do see the need to recover from injury when we have not yet learned how weak people seem always to be critical of others when they are really revealing serious inadequacies in themselves.
Love who you are because you have such deep and strong values within that make you who you are.
Keep re-evaluating and never feel the need to judge.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 1/26/2011 10:17:19 PM (GMT-7)