On Being Non-Judgmental

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It's Genetic
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Date Joined Mar 2010
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   Posted 1/26/2011 6:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I'll post this one more time at the risk of being told to please keep quiet!
 
1.  We must never judge ourselves based on another person's opinion of who we are.  When people speak, they reveal more of themselves than anything else.  For example, if someone thinks we are incompetent and accuses us of that, he or she is very likely projecting a deep inner fear of being incompetent himself.  The person who is intelligent and really knows that someone is incompetent is going to act as a teacher to help the less intelligent one  learn so that incompetence is erased.  People who care are not going to leave us in the lurch feeling that we are not important or valuable to others, and, more especially, to ourselves.
 
2.  We should ask ourselves what our deepest principles are.  In part, are those principles
 
A.  to care for ourselves, to love ourselves, and others (who are healthy and even the weakened if we are strong enough inside to do that)?
 
B.  to genuinely respect ourselves for the life we have been given?
 
C.  to search for deep meaning in religious values that anchor, support, and give us strength and courage in the face of negative and jealous or envious people (who, incidentally, have serious problems with their view of themselves)?
 
D.  to have as a great principle that of making sure that our word is good, regardless of how others think and feel?
 
E.  to see ourselves as trustworthy?
 
F.  to see ourselves as helpful--not perfect, because nobody is, but everybody has the ability to be helpful if he/she really sees that as important.
 
G.  to like ourselves and children?  Remember, we are all children--or at least we carry our inner child within us all our lives.
 
H.  to think it is important to make sure that the needs of the little child within are cared for?  (By caring for our needs or talking to a psychiatrist about the needs we feel are unmet and making  ourselves willing to take the meds to overcome the stress that the litle child within feels while we are recovering from childhood injury--no matter how mild--and we all have that.)
 
I.  to re-evaluate who we are from time to time, recognizing that we are who we are as growing and loving people?
 
J.  to refrain from judging ourselves and learn either to let people know when they are revealing their attempt to judge us if we feel strong enough at the time, or to ignore the insult and remember who we are by living the deepest principles we hold dear?
 
All of this relates to our relationships to ourselves, our parents, our spouse, our fellow workers, and everyone whom we meet in life.  We either live by these principles within or we keep trying to live by them as we grow.
 
I don't see the need for judgment at all.  I do see the need to recover from injury when we have not yet learned how weak people seem always to be critical of others when they are really revealing serious inadequacies in themselves.
 
Love who you are because you have such deep and strong values within that make you who you are.
 
Keep re-evaluating and never feel the need to judge.
 
It's Genetic
 
 
 
 

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 1/26/2011 10:17:19 PM (GMT-7)


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 1/26/2011 6:45 PM (GMT -6)   
It's Genetic,

I like that. I don't remember you posting it before, I may have missed it when I was working. I think these are words of wisdom. Especially realizing when somebody does something unkind to us, generally they are feeling bad about themselves. Otherwise there would be no need. It makes it easier to take with a grain of salt.

Thank you for sharing.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 1/26/2011 6:51 PM (GMT -6)   
It isn't exactly the same, Karen,

It's a combination of "What to Make of Depression" and the reply to Ty
yesterday on some of the points he requested be repeated.

Hope you're well tonight.

IG

Cognitivism
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 1/28/2011 12:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Why would someone tell you to keep quiet?

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 1/28/2011 12:36 AM (GMT -6)   
IT IS EXCELLENT. WELL SAID IG. :-) JAMIE.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 1/28/2011 9:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Cognitivism,

Why would people want me to keep quiet? Because I post often on
the same subjects, and people get terribly bored with hearing the same thing over and over again.

It's Genetic

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/28/2011 9:30 AM (GMT -6)   
It's Genetic,

You post with knowledge. And we never get sick of it. Remember that.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 1/28/2011 9:43 AM (GMT -6)   
E. to see ourselves as trustworthy?



Thats my #1 i'm working on right now. I used to not trust myself right down to the most basic levels. Trust myself and my ideas/thoughts, they may not all be good, but they are mine. thanks for the post
When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

with your past and your future precisely divided, Am I at that moment?. . I haven't decided.

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 1/28/2011 9:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, I think so, Geosojda,

People need to know or will learn that we can be trusted because of our conduct and reliance on truth and sincerity-- not that it's terribly important to us that they learn, but that it's important to ourselves to
hold those values, primarily. They will learn it eventually if we have those qualities of conduct, etc.
 
And by the way I loved your statement that "when we have as our only tool a hammer, everything looks like a nail."  Would some Power give us the gift of having more tools in our toolbox!  It could make a huge difference in how we view things, wouldn't it?
 
I'm glad you appreciated the post.
 
Keep well.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 1/28/2011 8:25:15 AM (GMT-7)


worriedgirl
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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 1/28/2011 1:18 PM (GMT -6)   
you are very smart IG i look forward to your comments
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are


"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 1/28/2011 8:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, Worried Girl, you are revealing yourself, you know, as a very smart girl.

Hope you day tomorrow is really a good one.

Thanks again,

It's Genetic
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