I don't know your parents, but usually parents turn out to be supportive when they learn their children are depressed. Right now they can't figure out what is going on with you. If they know you have a treatable disease, that might help. Depression almost never just gets better on its own. It almost always requires counseling and/or meds. People can miraculously recover from any disease, but depression is no more likely to result in a miraculous recovery than anything else. If you're on your parents' insurance, that means letting them know that you need to see your doctor. You can start with your family doctor & see what s/he says. If the doctor says you need to see a psychiatrist or counselor, then that is someone else to back up what you are saying with your parents.
Besides getting help with the depression, I agree with the others that you need help with the alcohol as well. If you've wanted to quit but find that you just can't, I'd suggest getting yourself to an AA meeting. You can locate one in your area by going to aa.org/
. My best friend finally went & got herself help for her alcoholism & the difference is night & day. She kept saying that it was the only thing that made her feel better & she only drank b/c of all the things that were wrong in her life & on and on. But over the years it just kept getting worse. She had to drink more & more to get even an hour "break" from her problems. Then, that didn't do it anymore & she turned to drugs. The drugs made her feel worse, so she drank even more. She would say the craziest things in the world when she would drink that much & she was miserable to be around. So she lost her friends, one by one. Finally, even I couldn't stand to be around her except on the rare occasion where she agreed to go to a meeting. So the only "friends" she had were dealers & other drunks -- and those are the worst kinds of friends. The only thing they care about
is themselves. But once she got to a hospital & then a sober-living program and got help, the turned back into the nice person she used to be. She's back working part time again & now that she's not drinking 4000 calories a day, she's even lost weight. Everyone wants to be her friend b/c she is a confident, genuine, caring, kind-hearted soul. Her brain did suffer permanent damage from all the drinking, so she's never going to be a business owner or school administrator or anything, but she is certainly smart enough to work at a day care or preschool where she used to work, or get any other number of jobs out there.
As for flunking out of college... 75% of people who start college drop out before they graduate. Only about
50% of Americans even go to any college at all. And yet almost all of those people find some kind of decent-paying job. You have a HS diploma. If college isn't for you, what about
a trade school, apprenticeship, or training program. You could always decide to go back to college later. My cousin flunked out of the university, and then flunked out of community college when he was young. So he got a job & showed up every day & worked hard. He got counseling & eventually got his life together and then he started going to some business conferences about
sales. After going to several of those, his wife (yes, he eventually got his love life together too -- once he got counseling & cut WAY back on drinking) encouraged him to try community college again. So he went part time & graduated in 4 years. He got a promotion at work & 2 years later they offered to give him matching funds to earn his BS. He's now working on his MS and is doing quite well working in B2B sales.
It's just hard in our culture when you're young. You expect to make it big by the time your 25 (if not sooner) and when that doesn't happen, sometimes people start to fall apart. Success -- in life, business, relationships, and love -- takes TIME. It takes a lot of work. But I believe you can accomplish great things in your life if you can deal with the depression and drinking now. You don't have to self-destruct. Nobody here, or anywhere else, is perfect. We are all works in progress, but progress does get made when we make the right choices. You can choose to ask for help & slowly start putting your life back together, or you can choose to give in to the hopelessness and desperation that tempt all of us here. If you're wanting help & wanting to fight, know that the members here at HW are really wonderful people who will cheer you on all the way. :) Hang in there! There is hope.
peace & blessings,