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chamari
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/1/2011 12:44 PM (GMT -6)   
i realize that the only person who understands me is my self. everyone says im mean, i have anger issues and all i do is fight and argue. I admit i do get mad really easy but sometimes its because people push me too far or when they treat me bad or when i don't things my way. i want to be a better person but i don't know where to start, everyone already sees me as a mean and an angry person, i mean i could be nice and fun once in awhile but sometimes i burst out alot... i wish i can control myself more

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 2/1/2011 3:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Chamari,
Someone once told me that you are giving away all your control if you let other people determine how you feel. Take back your control. You don't have to get angry just because someone doesn't do things your way or someone is pushy.
There are a number of great books about boundaries. Figure out what you will & will not accept. Be reasonable about that (no one is perfect!) but you don't have to be abused physically or verbally.
Then, just try to set aside time to have some fun with people. Forget about telling them what's right or what's the best way to do something or how to win or whatever. Just join in & try to follow others' lead. If others are joking around without getting hurt, do the same. If no one else is worried about being on time, or getting the best results or whatever, try out that attitude yourself for an hour or so.
Give it a try! I used to get so frustrated that no one else seemed to care as much about excellence as I did. But the thing is, they also didn't get burned out so easily, got sick less often & generally enjoyed life a lot more. And people like to be around people like that.

If that's too much to take on, maybe seeing a professional would help. Counselors can be really good about role-playing with you so you can practice the skills you want to learn in a safe environment before having to try them out in the "real world".

take care,
frances :)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42301
   Posted 2/1/2011 3:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Chamari,

People can do things to upset us, but it is all up to us whether we react to it or not. You can choose to not get angry or upset, but it does take time and practice. I have learned to let a lot of stuff role off of my back, but it took a few years and medications and counseling to get to this point. Life is short, and we don't want to spend it being miserable inside.

I agree with Frances on getting some books or seeing a counselor. I think it would really help you. You might even want to consider anger management classes. It is no fun to be angry. It is a lot more fun to just go with the flow of things. That doesn't mean that you should let people push you around or anything like that, but just speak up for yourself when the time comes. And try not to let emotions get in the way.

I know it probably took a lot to write this post. As nobody wants to admit that they have an anger issue. But I think at one point in time, we have all gone through things like this. So you live and learn. I am glad that you posted. I am sure that this is an issue that you would like to resolve. Seek help with it. Be it reading or counseling. You will be a much happier person in the long run.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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