Slowly, but getting there

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buglet90
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/1/2011 6:45 PM (GMT -6)   
I broke up with my last boyfriend almost 20 months ago after dating him for 16 months. I had invested time, work, money, and myself into our relationship. I was mentally and physically abused, and I thought that I had deserved it.

I went to my doctor 7 months after we had broken up because I wasn't sleeping and people had started to notice that I wasn't myself. I didn't want to answer all their questions and I had hoped that my doctor would just give me sleeping pills and wouldn't ask questions.

Well, my doctor is no dummy and he wouldn't buy the fact that nothing was wrong. He said that I didn't fit in the age bracket for insomnia or sleep apnea so I wouldn't get sleeping pills. He asked if I was depressed, and when he did he looked me squarely in the eye. I'm not much of a liar so I finally told the truth. I was put on 6 months of medicine a low dose medicine.

Shortly after I started them, I began to feel better, but still having good and bad days. When I stopped the medicine, I put more anxiety on myself because I didn't wanna go back to feeling so low.

Now, I have been off the medicine for about 6 months and still have good and bad days. When they get really bad, I just try to remember that I do deserve to be happy and that I will be eventually.

But I also have realize and reevaluated what I want in a guy. I know that I need to trust myself more and that if something looks like a duck and acts like a duck, its probably a duck. So if a guy looks like a jerk and acts like a jerk, more times than not, he's a jerk.

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/1/2011 7:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello,

Breaking up is one of the most painful experiences of the human. It often feels like one's heart is broken and will never heal.
 
This is a time where you need to do everything you can to stay healthy. While breaking up can lead to depression that often makes us tired, lethargic, and depleted, sometimes even eating enormous amounts of junk food, sleeping too long, staying up too late, this is a time to make sure you are doing all you can to nourish yourself. Eat nutritiously, sleep sufficiently. Do not use drugs or alcohol to repress the pain. It will only make it worse in the long run.

While in the midst of the pain of a break up, it often feels like life is over and there will never be a good day ahead but the truth is, you will get over this and you will find happiness again. Hold onto the hope even if it does not feel like the pain will ever end. Remind yourself that you have been through difficult times before and you will get through this as well.

Talking with your physician was a good thing  as well as taking a look at what traits you would like to see in the next person you go out with.
When the sun sets, it always rises again!

 
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42495
   Posted 2/1/2011 8:00 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so glad that you left that guy. And try not to do a repeat, as we often do. Nobody deserves to be treated abusively. It is often hard to leave the relationship and you did. Be proud of yourself. Know that what you did could have saved your whole life from horrible treatment. You are so fortunate to have gotten out of that situation.

Keep moving forward. You may even want to consider therapy. Something to keep you moving forward. If you want that, just talk to your doctor about it and he will most likely refer you to somebody.

Keep coming here for support. Know that we all care about you here and want the best for you.

I was in an emotionally manipulative relationship for 23 years. At first it was physically abusive and then he quit drinking and never hit me again. But he played mind games and I was too naive to notice it. I now am married to a wonderful man. And I have grown. So it all works out in the end. Just never give up.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

buglet90
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/2/2011 4:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Kitt-

I did gain weight, because i didn't care enough to think about what was happening to me.I never turned to drugs, because well frankly they scare the crap out of me. But i would drink more than usual, but it was never extremely excessive.

Getting By-

I am happy that I'm not with him anymore either. I did have slightly a repeat, but I kept my head straight with him and I don't talk to him anymore. If you don't mind me asking, how did you handle everything when you got out of that relationship? I went through something that seems a lot lighter than you and I still am not sure how I will be able to trust a guy without complications. I mean I know eventually it will happen, but that doesn't necessarily mean anytime soon.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42495
   Posted 2/2/2011 4:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I didn't get out of it. He never hit me after he stopped drinking. But it was all psychological. I was young when we met. Only 18. He was somewhat older than I was. We ended up getting married after 12 years. But in 2000 he died from lung cancer. I was so naive, half of the time I didn't realize what was going on. They say love is blind. I survived everything. And I really saw most of the stuff after he was gone and I was living my life. He was very possessive. And very jealous. I was the good wife. He controlled everything. He didn't even want me to work out. I didn't have friends that I visited. I spent most of my time alone. It wasn't like detrimental or anything. But it still wasn't right. I don't know, but it sounds like you had it pretty bad yourself. I am just so glad that you got out of it. And keep working on yourself. You have a lot of living to do.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

buglet90
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/2/2011 4:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow. I'm really glad that you are in a better relationship. I'm very thankful that I saw what was going on when I did. I do have a lot of living to do, and I'm tired of letting what happened hold me back. I'm now going to be me, for me. It's my time to live and not hold back.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42495
   Posted 2/2/2011 5:39 PM (GMT -6)   
That is a good way of thinking. One day at a time though. You will live and you will learn. Enjoy each day that you can.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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