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seansd
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/3/2011 1:31 AM (GMT -6)   
I need some help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
my  gf broke up with me about a year ago, we dated for almost 8 months, everything was amazing between us , never fought , everything was just great, she wasa  little bit reserved , and never introduced me to all her friends and i felt like i was kept out of the circle...it did not bother me at first but as we started getting serious it became an issue. at first i was not looking for a serious relationship but she tottaly won me over , her letters to me and her actions , and how much she was in love with me....then i gave in to her and opened up, which i normaly dont let my guards down easily..... i treated this girl like never treaded any girl before, i loved her from the bottom of my heart ...one day she said." i cant be in a relationship..i have school..work and other family issues...i love you but i cant be commited "  she broke my heart like no one ever did...i am 30 years old and never felt like this ....i went thru serious depression....thank god..i found the strenght to get my self in the right track ....get in shape again, get my self busy ...  changed jobs, and changed few things in my life that finallly feeling better...however we kind of stayed in touch ..and we hooked up few times (which i totally regret) ,
since we broke up ..i still sent her flowers at least 3 times, and gifts for her birthday..and took her out .....however few months ago..i realized that i just cant be friends with her ...i feel like i cant move on....and i told her that i we can not be friends ....i also sent her this email..
To My Dearest xxxxxxx.,


I thought a lot about   writing you this letter since I seem to be lost of words
about what I really want to tell you and share   when I am around you, or words
may not come out as I would like to, ...

First, I want to thank you for the most wonderful time we spent together, I
cherished and enjoyed every minute of it, just the simple nights out together or
with friends   seemed to be precious and unforgettable . The trip to new port
beach  was one of the most beautiful time that we spent , and Disneyland , new
years and so on... ....but I will always remember the day we spent it in my room
, doing nothing yet it seemed one of the most amazing time ever, and that is so
hard to forget , because you can do absolutely nothing and yet enjoy the
person’s company and feel  just…. free from the world, every time I had you in
my arms feeling your soft skin  I would look deeper  into your beautiful  eyes
and see how happy you will get and just stress free , almost felt like you
wanted to disconnect from the world and just enjoy that moment  …and I 
promised my self to try to  make you always  feel that way .
We have been apart for months now and I would  still think of you and your
beautiful smile I know we had so many variables that been thrown at us and
impacted our relationship but I guess that is the nature of life and the beauty
of the experiences we face. I guess they are two types of people that come into
your life, some they go and others are simply hard to let go ….and believe me
when we tell people how we feel about them and truly express ourselves and our
feelings   is an amazing thing, you never if we will have the chance to do so
later on in life...… because those people did matter to us and maybe they still
do.. I want you to know  that I always wish you happiness and love from
the bottom of my heart. I pray for your mom every chance I have, although we
never met, god knows how much I pray and care for her .

Recently we start hanging out again, besides having you in my arms and kissing
you all night ,feeling your skin ....I cant tell you how much I enjoy talking to
you ,laughing with you, tell you about my day and hearing about yours... just
simply the passionate moments we spend is amazing to me,  .... ...feelings start
coming back ...I care so much about you and I never ask for anything in return,
I would do anything to make you happy ....you have absolutely no idea what I
would do in order to make you smile and love you forever, because I genuinely
care about you , and my feelings are true and honest !   I can not go through
another roller coaster..... I am at a point of my life that I have great things
falling in place and I wish you would be the person to share my happiness  and
success with, I know life is not perfect but I loved you for who you are ...I
did not care what you do, where you came from, what you did in the past. nothing
matters to me ..I just ...wanted you babe !!

You mentioned once you hadn't been deeply happy in a while and I hope I was able
to make the experience (mostly) positive for you and that you don't give up
searching,, I think you deserve love and be loved, its one of the most beautiful
things in life.

As I write this today, the words are hard to flow. It is not my nature to be
expressive. But no matter what  I want you to know that I do care. My words will
never be able to describe exactly how I feel so, let me end this letter with 3
simple words, straight from my heart:

I love you.

 

 

she has been texting me and emailed me once to say hi how are you , i want to hear from you...but i enevr texted back or emailed her back for the past few months....i really dont know what to do !!!!!!!!!!!

 

please help me with any advise and i am so sorry for the long letter !!!!


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getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 2/3/2011 10:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I didn't read all of your texts. Just too much to do. Can't you wait for her to finish school? She seems to be worth waiting for. And are you depressed? This forum is for people with depression.

I hope that things work out for you. She sounds like a lovely lady and I think you could wait for her if it isn't too long. Take one day at a time, you never know when things are going to change.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

seansd
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/3/2011 10:23 AM (GMT -6)   
hi Karen, and thank you for your reply, i have been very depressed and the past few months i have been trying so hard to pick my self up, and i dont want to go thru that again, it was really bad that life did not mean anything any more and nobody else mattes .....
i could wait yeas but i was never given the respect and the assurance that i should stick around, i once checked her phone when were just dating and saw a text she sent to her ex bf telling him that she was not over him.....i just she is a lovely lady but i have that gut feeling that there is more then just school, work, family...because Karean we can all go thru the worse things in life but we love to have someone special in our life during those tough times, especialy someone who really wants to be there and take care of you....there is soo much to list about this relationship , i though to go see a therapist because i am realy scared that i will never get over her, and scared i would not be able to open my heart again...i met few nice ladies and i cant be my self wih them, i just cant open up .
my question is she is texting me and emailed me and me not answering is making me feel bad..but all i want is to move on and not hear from her...i did tell her that we cant be friends and we cant stay in touch but looks like she still trys....and i wish she tells me more than just ...hi how are you.. i wish she can be more experssive if she really misses me because i feel like i am falling out of love with her and it will be too late......
i am just stuck in a circle and all my friends tell me that she is a good girl but she is not for me , they tell me that she has a lot of issues and my job is not to fix her ......

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 2/3/2011 10:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Your friends are right, she has to fix herself. I did not realize that she was texting her ex. I can see your situation better now. You will meet somebody that you will feel really comfortable with. We go through these things to build character and our personality. Though it seems you said you were 30. You have probably gone through all that stuff by now. The best thing that I can advise is to continue taking one day at a time. You never know what is around the next corner, so you could meet the most fantastic lady. We all get hurt, we learn from that. I know it is hard to open up and be vulnerable. But sometimes in life we have to just let go. Take a chance. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. That is what Grandma use to tell me. And it is true. Allow yourself to feel emotions. Don't keep your guard up so much. Things will work out for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

seansd
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/3/2011 10:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Karen, you are really amazing for taking the time to write back...i really apreciate it.... i am here because i dont want to show my friends that i am still dealing with this issue...they al though i moved on, which i thought i did as well...but her messages and trying to get hold of me plays with my mind and the illusion for things may work out.....if i meant something to her she will at least reply to my email that i sent her , expressing my self...but from all this, as u said karen, i know there is someone out there that will love me for who i am and let me love them as well.......l

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 2/3/2011 12:05 PM (GMT -6)   
This forum is really helpful Seansd. There will also be other members on to help as the day goes by. A lot of us are in different time zones, so some don't come on until later. This is a really good forum, I am glad that I was of some help.

Keep your chin up and have a great day. You are a wonderful person.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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