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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/3/2011 3:43 AM (GMT -6)   
hey everyone
im originally from new jersey. my mom was abusive and used to do drugs. Im da oldest of 6 children. when i was 15 i ran away. i went to live with my grandmother. After graduating high school i went away to college. A week before my 12st birthday my gradmother called to tell me the landlord told me i couldnt live there anymore. Rite before the child support stopped. I didnt go home for months afterwards knowing i would end up right back with my abusive mom. She doesnt do drugs anymore but her new thing is numbers. it was hard to make friends in college and handle the work but i made it through. I had 2 jobs one as RA and another working in da computer department. When i returned home at first my mom was being really nice but then she went right back into who she really was. I worked and just stayed out the house. We had bedbugs which were practically eating us alive and all my mom seemed to care about was her numbers and boyfriend. She ditched one boyfriend for the next and hardly every bought food. it hurt to watch my siblings suffer so i just made sure to spend a lot of time outside the house. When i got my second job i was giving my mom even more money only to have the job for a few weeks cuz the supervisor only kept the ppl she hung out with after work. i applied to grad school to escape homelessness. my mom didnt pay rent for months so i knew she was losing her apartment. i applied to grad school and lived off my refund check. I moved to another state and city while my siiblings and mom are in a homeless shelter. the school i didnt get accepted to told me to get some grad work under my belt and reapply which i am in the process of doing now. i have a new boyfriend from another country i live with now. he is really sweet but i HATE school. the people act privileged and mean. i smoke cigarettes but have stopped doing it outside because the smell would be on my clothes. tonight in class a woman complained about not liking my perfume. i said i pulled out my bottle of lotion and she and she said she didnt like the smell of it and couldnt sit next to me anymore. theyConstantly cut down my projects and i cant leave because i dont have a home. When i do go back i stay with my ex for a few days but he treats me like a slave. The only friend i have is my boyfriend and i dont really speak to my family. i sent my money money for her to sent my clothes and ended up having to pick it up from her boyfriend a month later because she wudnt send my things. i dont want to go to school anymore. i hate it and im tired. i got all Bs last semester which killed me because i was always in the library and thought id do better but the grades are inflated in grad school. I am withdrawn in class becuase i tried to be nice to some people but it seems like all they want to do it cut other people down. i want to get through this so i can go to my dream school and get a good job but i dont feel like i can go on. i dont know what to do anymore

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 2/3/2011 11:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Keep pushing, you have come so far. Against the worst odds too. I am sorry about your mom. And your siblings, but you need to continue what you are doing and become somebody. You have come a long way by yourself and I want to see you succeed. You can do this.

Hugs, Karen

PS welcome to the forum...
Could you get some financial aid from the state?  That would help you.  Don't give anymore money to your mother if she doesn't use it for the kids.  Give material things to the kids. 
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 2/4/2011 9:54 AM (GMT -6)   
I would say that sometimes people have allergies or sensitivies to smell, and it can make them sick. Our campus went completely smoke free due to a person having a major allergy attack from an instructor smoking.  (ended up in the hospital)

Plus, I have to admit being in grad school myself I cannot afford to waste money on cigs, perfumed lotion, etc. (The cheap version I like is the cherry almond stuff from jergens, and someone has to be in your personal space to smell that.) But I am also pretty sick, so alot of my money goes to staying healthy.

Do you like what you are studying?
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…
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