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Jealous-me
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/4/2011 4:30 PM (GMT -6)   

Well, i have a jealousy problem... I get jealous at about anything. Wheter it is friends, siblings, boys, and even pets... i know i need to fix it... and ideas on how? Please help ASAP!!!


It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 2/4/2011 5:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, Jealous-Me,

You're asking for an answer to a complex problem. To make things simpler for you, I suggest that you go online to the term "jealousy" on Wikipedia Encyclopedia and read all about the subject. It's much too long to try to explain on a forum like this.

If it bothers you as an emotion, you should also read about strengthening your image of yourself and valuing yourself more highly so that you aren't threatened by the negative emotions, including fear, involved in jealousy and envy (which, while different, can emerge from a state of jealousy).

Glad you joined the group here and I hope you find the answer that
leads you to a solution. You have your work cut out for you, and it will take some time to resolve it. It's an emotion that you will need to practice eliminating by becoming more secure within yourself.

Good wishes,

It's Genetic

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 2/4/2011 6:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to the depression forum. IG is right. Jealousy is a very complex issue. I would suggest getting some books on it or going to counseling and getting some insight to what is causing this. It most likely is coming from a poor self image like IG said.

I know when you are jealous, you are very unhappy and insecure. Your reactions are going to alienate people from not wanting to be around you. The green eyed monster as they say. It really isn't flattering on anybody.

And people who are jealous can tend to try to manipulate things to go as they want them to. Do you have any issues with that? People who are jealous can be very hurtful. But they end up hurting themselves the most from their actions. I just know I feel badly for you and I hope that you can over come this. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 2/4/2011 8:48 PM (GMT -6)   
MAYBE SOME COUNSELLING WILL HELP. I ADMIRE YOUR HONESTY.......YOU WILL GET PAST THIS.......OK!! WITH COMPASSION, JAMIE. KEEP BEING BRAVE AND SEEK SOME ASSISTANCE.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Jealous-me
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/4/2011 10:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for ur help... and yes i think i do manipulate things to make them go my way. my jealousy problem is affecting and slowly ruining my closest friendship.  i know  i have a problem and i wanna fix it before it gets any worse.  i am about to start high school and i am worried that my jealousy will affect my love life.  i recently got over a problem where i had to go to a phsyciatrist. i
 dont wanna tell my mom about my jealousy problem cause i am afraid this problem will become a serious thing... something i will need medicine for. i was so happy when i conquered my recent problem... i dont wanna have another one. do u think it is serious enough to involve a therapist?  are there any ways to "build up" my self image without involving a therapist? i also have a problem where i overthink things. i also play out what COULD happen even though it hardly ever does... i recently noticed that i had been blaming my closest friend for MY problems... I have never had a friend as good as her and i dont wanna loose her over my jealous side!!!! Please help me!!! sad sad sad

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 2/4/2011 10:57 PM (GMT -6)   
MAYBE DOING SOME STUFF WITH YA SCHOOL COUNSELLOR IS THE WAY TO GO. (START) TOOLS, TIPS, AND SOME ACTION PLANS, ETC CAN BE WORKED ON. JUST A THOUGHT, JAMIE.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Jealous-me
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/4/2011 11:06 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks for the ideas!!! does anyone else have some??

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 2/5/2011 1:52 AM (GMT -6)   
yes, jamie again. seeing a therapist. with healing compassion, jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 2/5/2011 8:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Jamie is right,

You need to see a therapist, or google for some books to read about it. That could help. Also some books on self esteem.

Sorry I can't write more, got to go.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 2/5/2011 9:28 AM (GMT -6)   
They're right, Jealous-me,

Therapy is the way to go, then read to supplement therapy, and
follow your counselor's  instructions and put them  into practice. It is something that you will need to work on for some time, but it will get better, I should think, as time goes on.

It's certainly not one of the major problems of mental difficulties and one that you may be able to resolve with very happy endings in your social life.

Let us know how you get along.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 2/5/2011 8:53:20 AM (GMT-7)


billye
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 2/5/2011 3:09 PM (GMT -6)   
envy?  does it make you worse?  do you need all the attention?  think about what it does mean to you and what it does not. w

Jealous-me
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/5/2011 7:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for everyones help! are there any ways to fix me jealousy problems WITHOUT involving therapy or a school counselor? Also, what books would i look for? Can you name any books? thank you!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 2/5/2011 7:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Just google "books on jealousy". That is what I would do.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Jealous-me
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/6/2011 1:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Do u guys really think i need counceling or therapy? I am afraid to tell my mom that i have a jealousy problem. I dont even know if my jealousy really IS a problem!! Do u think it is a problem?? SHOULD i tell my mom yet? if u think i should, how do u think I should tell her; what should i say? Thank you!

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 2/6/2011 2:07 AM (GMT -6)   
if it is affecting you and others, then yes, it is a problem. but one that is fixable. with compassion, jamie. i am back in therapy..........it is really helping, and it will you.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Jealous-me
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/6/2011 11:58 AM (GMT -6)   
r u in therapy for jealousy problems? or something else (u dont hav to say if it makes you uncomfortable). Is anyone in therapy for jealousy problems?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 2/6/2011 12:25 PM (GMT -6)   
The root of your problem is low self esteem. It can lead to jealousy. Being insecure with yourself makes you envy others. So counseling is good for that. Try to go. I know it will help you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 2/6/2011 6:30 PM (GMT -6)   
no not for that. for past pain. current pain and current past and ongoing mental illness. i can't say exactly what-per forum rules, but i think you get the picture.
with compassion, jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Jealous-me
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/6/2011 9:49 PM (GMT -6)   
how do i tell my mom i have jealousy problems. money is kinda tight right nnow and i dont know if i can afford therapy. do you think books could fix my problem?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 2/6/2011 10:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Check out these sites and see if they help you...
 
 
Both of these are free and hopefully they will be of some help.  There is a book that I know of called "feeling good"  the new mood therapy by Dr. Burns.  It helped me a lot.  I read it years ago.  I am sure that if you googled books on jealousy, you would find more that you might want to read.
 
If you decide that you want to tell your mom, just do it when it is just you and her.  And be direct and honest.  Tell her that you feel that you have a jealousy problem and it is interfering in your life and that you want to get help with it.  Write things down that you would like to say to her and stick with it.  If she gets upset or angry and you can't handle it, just walk away and go outside or to your room or something.   Don't argue with her.  And then appoach her at another time and go over why she reacted the way that she did.  Hopefully she will understand and the two of you can talk about it.  Maybe there is insurance on you.  Do you still live at home?  I can't remember right now. 
 
Anyway, I hope that this helped.
 
Keep your chin up.  This will work out.  Check out those sites.
 
Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Jealous-me
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/7/2011 7:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for the websites! they seem good! Espesially the e-couch. i will tell my mom when i am ready... i dont think i am yet. well, today i went to school and tried some things to stop my jealousy. i think it worked pretty well!!! i was only jealous 2 or 3 times today, and it was really quick. i got over it quickly and reasured myself of who i am and what i mean to everyone else. that seemed to help a lot. but yeah i still live at home... but i am 14.... that is why i have been wondering i there are any websites or things i could do to help improve my self esteem and fix my jealousy problem. so if i want to buy a book or invole therapy, i HAVE to consult my mom... but are there any ways to improve my self esteem... like with some trust exersises (if that makes sense)?

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 2/7/2011 8:13 PM (GMT -6)   
good - your getting there. with compassion, jamie. we are all works in progress!! keep up the good work.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 2/7/2011 9:02 PM (GMT -6)   
It all takes time and practice. Learning to love yourself. Being happy with just you. Doing your own thing. We live it, we learn it. But you could try a school counselor. That way you wouldn't have to talk to your mom about it. Though I think that you should talk to your mom. It could save a lot of problems by seeing a professional counselor.

Try to be happy for others. Get a book at the library. Start doing some sports or something at school. Join a club of some sort. Just live. But don't keep yourself center of attention. Let other people be center. And be happy for them. There are a lot of little things you can do for yourself. Have you tried looking it up on the internet?

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Jealous-me
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/16/2011 12:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Well, thank u to everyone!!! But it has been a few weeks since I have been on this website! Which is pretty good news! I have been doing a LOT better with my jealousy problem!!! I hardly even have it any more! And thank u for the advice about joining a club or something cause actually I am going to start dance classes soon which will make me feel more confident in myself and will help me meet some more fruiends that have some similar intrests that I have!!! This website alsohelped me admit to myself that I don't want to be a therapist when I grow up! You never know, maybe I will be a dancer, or a Lester, or a designer! I don't know what I will be in the future and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future and I am okay with that Now!!! Thos website really helped me! But dint ride me off yet! You never know, I may come across a jelousy problem in a few weeks! So please keep me in your thoughts and don't forget to check back in every so often. I will keep updates on some of my problems along the way and also how I dm doing! Well thanks again!!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 2/16/2011 7:50 AM (GMT -6)   
I am truly happy for you!!!

Dance classes are fun. You are giong to be working on you and that is what it is all about. Learning about yourself and learning to love yourself. Focussing on something that brings you some pleasure to do. I am sure you are going to meet some really cool people. I wish for you the best.

Keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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