Hi there and welcome to HealingWell. I am going to be blunt and put this right out there, is your fear of committment what is behind all this ? Being married and divorced may be holding you back and you do not realize it.
Fear and trust are two emotions that are often tied together like the two ends of a bow. They are the emotions that follow the rush of feelings that people usually have at the beginning of a relationship. Why is that? What happens to make one person or the other begin to fear making a real commitment to a relationship? What are they afraid of?
Perhaps that answer is not really as complicated as it seems. Fear of being hurt in some way is a commonly shared emotion, as are fear of embarrassment and fear of loss. When a person makes a commitment it is safe to say that they risk experiencing all of those unpleasant possibilities.
Try to assess your situation realistically and then ask yourself another question. What if you never take a chance on love because of your fears, won’t you end up alone anyway? If you take that chance you may end up having to “pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start all over again.” Or you just might end up in a very loving, trusting relationship.
Start putting yourself out there and go slow. Don't set such high expectations but give other people a chance to just be themselves.
My first husband and I just were not meant to be.............but then I met the love of my life, a biker dude who has been a wonderful husband and father to my 3 children and one of our own. We will celebrate our 40 year anniversary in June. We have learned to live with each other's idiosyncraseis and accept each other for who we are. We still ride that motorcycle.
~~Kitt~~Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease. www.healingwell.com"If you can't change the world, change your world"